(no subject)
I miss my friends.
I miss Manicman and Nealterego and Vee and Sorcha and all the gang that I've spent the last few formative years of my life with but no longer have the pleasure of seeing regularly, or as regularly as I'd like. In fact, screw it and handles aside- I miss Dee and Col and Vee and Sarah. I love the fact that I regulary see old friends like Fee and that Griff and I are the fastest of friends again- perhaps more than ever. I also love the fact that I've made new friends in the last year like Meilung (Hel)- the kind of people I can just be 'me' with, with no bollocks or pretence or demands or expectation. The kind of people who can make a joke at your expense that doesn't wound or insult you and with whom you can (and will) share moments that no one else can ever measure or comprehend.
Above all I miss the freedom. Scratch that- I miss the undeniable knowledge that I can do what I want when I want to- rather than feeling that such actions are irresponsible or might not agree with my work ethic or whatever. Life's taken a rather serious turn in the last few months with job and family and at times I wonder why I spend so much of my working life and free time working to make other people happy. Maybe it's time to do what I want to for a while- to visit the friends I miss, to write the novel I've been pushing aside for over two years, to bloody get on with it all.
Maybe this moment of clarity will be brushed under the carpet come morning with my latest ideas for my novel.
Maybe not.
I miss Manicman and Nealterego and Vee and Sorcha and all the gang that I've spent the last few formative years of my life with but no longer have the pleasure of seeing regularly, or as regularly as I'd like. In fact, screw it and handles aside- I miss Dee and Col and Vee and Sarah. I love the fact that I regulary see old friends like Fee and that Griff and I are the fastest of friends again- perhaps more than ever. I also love the fact that I've made new friends in the last year like Meilung (Hel)- the kind of people I can just be 'me' with, with no bollocks or pretence or demands or expectation. The kind of people who can make a joke at your expense that doesn't wound or insult you and with whom you can (and will) share moments that no one else can ever measure or comprehend.
Above all I miss the freedom. Scratch that- I miss the undeniable knowledge that I can do what I want when I want to- rather than feeling that such actions are irresponsible or might not agree with my work ethic or whatever. Life's taken a rather serious turn in the last few months with job and family and at times I wonder why I spend so much of my working life and free time working to make other people happy. Maybe it's time to do what I want to for a while- to visit the friends I miss, to write the novel I've been pushing aside for over two years, to bloody get on with it all.
Maybe this moment of clarity will be brushed under the carpet come morning with my latest ideas for my novel.
Maybe not.