A soundtrack to my failure. one syllable. one vowel (insert scream and dddamit edition)
Like all rescheduled executions you wish you didn't miss or portraits of failure using your toilet paper for nefarious deeds in your bathroom as we speak-(Go check I dare you)- Here is another edition of full blown nonsense and debauchery, be warned you can run you can hide but like that old people smell it'll get you in the end.
And so begins april in a week and the only thing I can say on the horizon worth waking up for is Jack Black is hosting the kid's choice awards, and you're gonna watch it too. Showers began back in February when fate smiled upon me and gave me the plague, four hours in front of toilet got me to thinking where the hell is this all headed? Not my vomit you fool, I know damn well what nazi death machines are run by our sewage and filth, -my life. Since the last post not much has occured on this side of the universe.
Foremost- sorry to yall that requested the demo, in truth it is a piss poor representation of us as a band. We are currently recording a better one with the Brian Davis of Behelit,The Santa Clauses et al. fame. I gurantee you and all those other bloodthirsty martelo loving, dan hating, matress-tag stealin madmen that he is 112% bonafide and this thing will sound so good they'll throw Martelo blairin stereos instead of grenades from now on. Also if you want to tattoo his name on some part of your body that's okay too. We had Samaurai Champloo and Firefly marathons both of which are easily the best gawdang shows ever -bar none- and if you don't think so it's because you watch that show Lost. Which is okay if you're the sort of person who likes to lie awake in bed wondering if it's cheating on you with the wiener dog down the street or that overly cheery bastard that got the promotion down at the law firm over you because you're too busy wasting time on midget porn you sick bastard, you deserve that inevitable lynching from all the oppressed people making an honest living at dunkin donuts you caffiene guzzling whore you.
In other unimportant crappe the black cloud of fear and loathing hanging over my head has led to a large birth -bathtub stylee- of artwork. I'll have some kinda posting, not that it's good I just want to make every dan ripped a big art joke* possible. So unless the artwork can finance my revolution I am applying to Bookstores, restaurants drug cartels and hotdog stands far and wide. If you know someone who's hiring and needs somone who doesn't ask questions and has the ability to urinate and play metal guitar at the same time, I'm thier man.
Now it's time for the awesome awards for March if you didn't get one it's because you slander Joss Whedon or listen to Bon Jovi everyone else you know what you did: The H&H crew for the serious Chuck Norris and Tony Jaa weekly action awesome. Rose for coming back from the alternate dimension she went to, just to make my horrible band some horribly awesome stickers. Brian Davis for being a glutton for punishment and attempting to tame the beast that is Martelo. I'll give one to Beany if she makes me some pudding tomorrow, because I am a Man who loves his pudding dammit.
Until the silent guns of love blast the sky- stay tuned.
Brought to you by the severly severe pain in my arm and an orgy of D's
The Dillenger Escape Plan, Tenacious D, David Bowie, Dark Tranquility, also James Brown cause he puts the D in badass, and I wouldn't argue with him- he's superbad. And yes I was gonna speel check this but Big Shots is on so see you later space cowboy. Now stop that already.
*see also dan's art smells like dead fish, dan arted again, i wish dan would go outside if he has to art, create your own cause remember kids a horse is never dead even if it gets turned into glue, eff you wilbur you damn yokel.
And so begins april in a week and the only thing I can say on the horizon worth waking up for is Jack Black is hosting the kid's choice awards, and you're gonna watch it too. Showers began back in February when fate smiled upon me and gave me the plague, four hours in front of toilet got me to thinking where the hell is this all headed? Not my vomit you fool, I know damn well what nazi death machines are run by our sewage and filth, -my life. Since the last post not much has occured on this side of the universe.
Foremost- sorry to yall that requested the demo, in truth it is a piss poor representation of us as a band. We are currently recording a better one with the Brian Davis of Behelit,The Santa Clauses et al. fame. I gurantee you and all those other bloodthirsty martelo loving, dan hating, matress-tag stealin madmen that he is 112% bonafide and this thing will sound so good they'll throw Martelo blairin stereos instead of grenades from now on. Also if you want to tattoo his name on some part of your body that's okay too. We had Samaurai Champloo and Firefly marathons both of which are easily the best gawdang shows ever -bar none- and if you don't think so it's because you watch that show Lost. Which is okay if you're the sort of person who likes to lie awake in bed wondering if it's cheating on you with the wiener dog down the street or that overly cheery bastard that got the promotion down at the law firm over you because you're too busy wasting time on midget porn you sick bastard, you deserve that inevitable lynching from all the oppressed people making an honest living at dunkin donuts you caffiene guzzling whore you.
In other unimportant crappe the black cloud of fear and loathing hanging over my head has led to a large birth -bathtub stylee- of artwork. I'll have some kinda posting, not that it's good I just want to make every dan ripped a big art joke* possible. So unless the artwork can finance my revolution I am applying to Bookstores, restaurants drug cartels and hotdog stands far and wide. If you know someone who's hiring and needs somone who doesn't ask questions and has the ability to urinate and play metal guitar at the same time, I'm thier man.
Now it's time for the awesome awards for March if you didn't get one it's because you slander Joss Whedon or listen to Bon Jovi everyone else you know what you did: The H&H crew for the serious Chuck Norris and Tony Jaa weekly action awesome. Rose for coming back from the alternate dimension she went to, just to make my horrible band some horribly awesome stickers. Brian Davis for being a glutton for punishment and attempting to tame the beast that is Martelo. I'll give one to Beany if she makes me some pudding tomorrow, because I am a Man who loves his pudding dammit.
Until the silent guns of love blast the sky- stay tuned.
Brought to you by the severly severe pain in my arm and an orgy of D's
The Dillenger Escape Plan, Tenacious D, David Bowie, Dark Tranquility, also James Brown cause he puts the D in badass, and I wouldn't argue with him- he's superbad. And yes I was gonna speel check this but Big Shots is on so see you later space cowboy. Now stop that already.
*see also dan's art smells like dead fish, dan arted again, i wish dan would go outside if he has to art, create your own cause remember kids a horse is never dead even if it gets turned into glue, eff you wilbur you damn yokel.