(no subject)

[daneal_jee]

I’m to stressed to do anything, like maintain myself, sleep, eat… yeah that’s right I’m having trouble eating me.. strange.. I’m paying to go to the gym but I can’t go cos there are other things I should be doing….. maybe I should take up smoking… No dan that’s what your mother would do…… oh god, burn marks on bench, iron burn in carped upstairs, stains on carpet in Tash’s room, found a small dent in Jays wardrobe…. And this is a new house…. Plus a house inspection gone wrong and a need to clean it and conceal all these things…… my mother penned up with a psycho gold digging woman from the Philippines who pored a jug of boiling water on her, a new job position with added stress and more hours with an inspection from management soon, a girlfriend who I’m concerned I’m not paying enough attention to and depressing, house mates whose lives seem to be falling apart and feel a need to dump all there shit on me and for me to come up with an answer, lack of money………. They all know there is another inspection soon cos of the failed last one…… why is the house getting messier… plus I have to collect money from ppl for rent and internet and shit stupid bills…… none of the bad shit I’m stressing about is really my fault, but that don’t change the fact that It effects me and I can’t do anything about it………. I sit here doing nothing, not able to anything but longing to do things to fix stuff in my life that is so wrong… I have a feeling I’m gonna get fucking crucified for this house black listed and shit. Everyone here can go stay with friends or family or some shit, I got nowhere this is it…..

i don't got the money to go get drunk, besides thats a bad sign if i need to get drunk to deal with stress..... next step will be heroin to help me forget..... fuck!