I don't know why, but it must be nice.
I don't know if the reason I eat is because I’m hungry anymore.
or if I’m tiered when I sleep.
It must be nice to have some security in life, you know something to fall back on, cos right now I aint got nothing, not even my mother knows what she's going to do at the end of the month when we get kicked out cos the place is being knocked down, and the parents are meant to be the stable ones in our lives, or so I have been lead to believe by watching other parents. All my friends when they have messed up in life have always had a place to go, to be able to be accepted by there parents into there strict but secure environment, someone there who when it comes down to it will bail them out. I believe that if my momma could do that she would, but I been moving place to place with her since I can remember, aint never stayed in one place long till we came here, now its getting knocked down.
I Know I gotta find a place to live soon with Amie and Erin otherwise I’m out on my ass soon to... I told my momma about my plans to move out today, she Kinda went off but I can see how things could have gone worse.... but even if i do find a place to live with Erin and Amie its never going to be one of those secure places that ppl have, it will be on a lease, with ppl that I have only know a year or so, trying to survive out in the world, it wont be piece of mind, just night to night security, knowing that I can't get settled because in a few months I gotta move on.
I think I’m tiered all the time because I’m not that enthusiastic about being awake.
Yeah but what if I cant move on? What if there some kinda trouble and I can't make it?? This where most kids be able to run home to momma, yeah I wont have that kinda fall back security, no one to help me out if i'm in debt, no where to crash for a week till I get my shit sorted out.
I know I read somewhere in a psychology book that boys that have been raised by single mothers generally turn out as thugs and hustlers because they might have the mans body but they have the woman’s mind set, and women base more of there decisions on there emotions than they do on logic (not saying that myself, just what i read) and that they are usually missing that solid rock character that is the father in there life...
I do got a dad, I’m pretty sure he is well off, down south somewhere married to a woman and raising a family that is not even his.... I don't hold it against him for not being around, I mean who wants to be a father to a fuck up...... Kinda the reason that I don't want to have kids, I mean if I don't parent them right or I screw up what I’m suppose to be as a father I could very well mess up my kid.... now don’t think that the only reason cos i got heaps of reasons not to have kids... just... yeah whatever.
But a father, never really needed one, can't think of any way he could have changed the person I turned out to be, and I don't think he could have been that 'rock' figure described in the book......meh
This going to be one of my last entries on this thing cos very soon I’m going to have my phone line disconnected and my net disabled cos for one I need to save to move out before I’m on the streets.... and two life is simpler without the complication of a bill that I really don’t need and cant control because my mother keeps using the phone... but hey what can you do.
or if I’m tiered when I sleep.
It must be nice to have some security in life, you know something to fall back on, cos right now I aint got nothing, not even my mother knows what she's going to do at the end of the month when we get kicked out cos the place is being knocked down, and the parents are meant to be the stable ones in our lives, or so I have been lead to believe by watching other parents. All my friends when they have messed up in life have always had a place to go, to be able to be accepted by there parents into there strict but secure environment, someone there who when it comes down to it will bail them out. I believe that if my momma could do that she would, but I been moving place to place with her since I can remember, aint never stayed in one place long till we came here, now its getting knocked down.
I Know I gotta find a place to live soon with Amie and Erin otherwise I’m out on my ass soon to... I told my momma about my plans to move out today, she Kinda went off but I can see how things could have gone worse.... but even if i do find a place to live with Erin and Amie its never going to be one of those secure places that ppl have, it will be on a lease, with ppl that I have only know a year or so, trying to survive out in the world, it wont be piece of mind, just night to night security, knowing that I can't get settled because in a few months I gotta move on.
I think I’m tiered all the time because I’m not that enthusiastic about being awake.
Yeah but what if I cant move on? What if there some kinda trouble and I can't make it?? This where most kids be able to run home to momma, yeah I wont have that kinda fall back security, no one to help me out if i'm in debt, no where to crash for a week till I get my shit sorted out.
I know I read somewhere in a psychology book that boys that have been raised by single mothers generally turn out as thugs and hustlers because they might have the mans body but they have the woman’s mind set, and women base more of there decisions on there emotions than they do on logic (not saying that myself, just what i read) and that they are usually missing that solid rock character that is the father in there life...
I do got a dad, I’m pretty sure he is well off, down south somewhere married to a woman and raising a family that is not even his.... I don't hold it against him for not being around, I mean who wants to be a father to a fuck up...... Kinda the reason that I don't want to have kids, I mean if I don't parent them right or I screw up what I’m suppose to be as a father I could very well mess up my kid.... now don’t think that the only reason cos i got heaps of reasons not to have kids... just... yeah whatever.
But a father, never really needed one, can't think of any way he could have changed the person I turned out to be, and I don't think he could have been that 'rock' figure described in the book......meh
This going to be one of my last entries on this thing cos very soon I’m going to have my phone line disconnected and my net disabled cos for one I need to save to move out before I’m on the streets.... and two life is simpler without the complication of a bill that I really don’t need and cant control because my mother keeps using the phone... but hey what can you do.