(no subject)
"ethos" <- I forgot about that word.
I think people are ridiculously removed from the war we are responsible for. We need to be bombarded daily with the gruesome truth of what we are doing. We need to acknowledge our impact and accept that responsibility... Like with eating meat- to each his own so long as it is done with full understanding. To remove yourself from the situation you've facilitated in some way is irresponsible and very childish/naive. However, to support something with personal experience and understanding is acceptable. We all have different opinions... let us just make sure they are educated and as unbiased as possible... if our opinions and resulting decisions are the cause of death to many innocents. Kids should have penpals... or you know... I guess that's really the solution to a lot of things. Connections. By connecting various things (be they concepts/people/cultures/etc.) and attempting to understand- we are more likely to respect different view points and be aware of the overall impact certain actions may have. Okay- that's worded poorly... but I'm too tired to elaborate on that idea- or even articulate it in a clear manner. Perhaps later.
I wish there were goats running around in the US. Of course they'd probably end up as roadkill. We really need to slow our pace of life down a bit. It's out of control and not healthy- we are in a race to the bottom- and not for the better- if we only live once (that we are consciously aware of) why not actually ENJOY it and live for the MOMENT and BEING?!
Casper was amazing. My last few rides on him have been absolutely amazing. I so much prefer working with stallions. Wow. I really love this horse- we truly connect- I need only *think* something and he's carrying it through. The link in communication is so amazingly direct with this horse. I LOVE it.
Rain is WONDERFUL. Hopefully it won't flood my newly planted garden... eek. But how I love sleeping to thunderstorms. To return around 3am- and go to bed around 4am to the rolling thunderclaps and rain was so soothing. However... I'd have to say sleeping to rain in a tent or beneath a tin roof is pure happiness even more. I miss the rainy season of tropical countries... and the drizzle and mist of the Netherlands. We don't quite have either of those in Wisconsin... nor do we get a true spring or autumn. But the countryside was eye candy as I drove home from work today.
I miss
~hearing rain fall on a tin roof.
~the rivers of water swirling w/the red dirt down the streets at the onset of rainy season- after months w/out even 1 cloud in the sky.
~Maria calling w/worry as I race through the downpour to sneak Vlekje (my pet goat) inside the house.
~riding my warm little MerryLegs bareback in the mist on the nearby bridle paths- warming up in deep straw while laying on her back and neck after returning until we dried.
~biking/running in the morning drizzle- to school, for fun, and/or with teammates.
~the winds that made the weeping willows dance and the dachsunds go airborne.
~curling up w/moomoo and a book to watch natures fury from my bedroom window during hurricane season.
~ the comfort of Sting, Danny, Bataal, n Super2 after getting caught in the open barn w/lightning striking the ground in every direction and zinging around the electric fences.
~ falling asleep in the loft as the rain ripples the lake and raps on the roof of the cabin.
I think I'm a wee bit homesick- only problem is I don't have one home. So where does that leave me?
I must run.
I lifted a great weight from my shoulders today... I didn't think it would go through. I was truly made to work for it... but I managed to succeed. Thank goodness... had it not worked out... I don't know that I could have stayed around here.
...must...find...roommate...
Last night I had a dinner of goatcheese and tomatoes and mushrooms on toasted caraway rye bread. mmmmmm... so simple... so perfect... so satisfying.
Why are people in a rush to find the love of their life? Why not just let it happen if it is meant to be? I never was (in a rush- that is)- yet it *happened* and than after 4 years- I realized we are at different points. People may discredit that. People don't know- the situation OR me. I don't easily give away my heart. And I'm very rational about those such matters. I'm realizing more and more that people claim to want one thing- yet live by or need another. Or perhaps they state one thing but want another. I'm also realizing I don't fit the typical mentality on this- for my age/gender/geographical location. Or... if I do... very few people own up to similar views on the matter. Live life one moment at a time. There are too many people jumping into things for the sake of jumping into things- I see this EVERYWHERE. Same goes for people SO anxious to settle. Why the hell settle? I don't ever want to settle. I am not a settler... the world is free... I will live as I please... no person can expect to control me unless I so choose. I can not be stifled. It's so inhibiting to creativy and the independant spirit that brings growth and success. I want to know many people for many things. Intimately understand the WORLD- not just focus my entire being on one other person. I guess I still have to work all of that out. What spurred this thought were the thoughts of others- what is it that can drive some people to be SO engrossed with one another to the point of losing their selves? I don't think its necessary to become partners. I guess I'm just too interested in the world around me... I want to know everything about every subject- but be a generalist at the same time. I feel like by dedicating all of my energy to one thing or one person- I'm missing out on the rest of the world around! How unfortunate! But not everyone works that way or understands. In fact most don't. It's not like a I want cheap interactions- I very much devote myself to what I do- I just don't want to devote everything to one lonely facet on this little crystal of life.
I wonder how that will change- or if it ever will?
I know I do bad things- not intentionally- but I know I take advantage of certain situations without intending to. I know other people, similar to me, do the exact same thing. I know it drives some people nuts. But where does the communication breakdown occur? Is it the fault of miscommunicating/representing on my part- or of misinterpretting and understanding on the others? I don't know. Probably both. That's why direct is good.
The dean I spoke with today reminded me that I'm not meant for one place or situation alone. He didn't do it intentionally- he was probably not even aware- but it was a reminder- nonetheless.
This has nothing to do with any parcticular situation- but these are my thoughts...as they've been... as they are... and as they will likely continue to be.
My muscles are happy sore- I worked my little tail off riding today. Seriously- if you look- I honestly have no tail anymore. Oh wait... I never did... woops... nevermind.
*link from Yzavela http://news.ft.com/cms/s/4ea07b74-c8cd-11d9-87c9-00000e2511c8.html <-its about the Amazon and deforestation.
Damn- my body is seriously craving fruit. I NEED sweet and chewy of the healthy kind right now... but I have NOTHING that fits the bill. Grapes (frozen), raspberry, pear, banana, mango, maracuja, or apples with peanutbutter would all be very welcome. I finished up my pear juice- I guess I could eat a tomatoe... that won't quite do it. I think I'm lacking vitamin C. So for dinner tonight I had soy "burger bits" with mushrooms, goat cheese, basil, cranberry, tomato, rosemary, dried spicey peppers, and garlic. Plus tea with ginger, honey, lemon balm, chamomile, and echinacea. Can you tell I'm trying to boost my immune system just a little? Also- if you use your hands to crush up the dried pepper... don't rub your face immediately after- it BURNS!!!!!
The brother stopped by. I wasn't as welcoming as I should have been. I was caught off guard and a bit pre-occupied. If Jake might have told me he was going to have Dan over at a late hour the night before I had very early work... I may have started out more generous- rather than getting annoyed at his raiding my fridge.
I think people are ridiculously removed from the war we are responsible for. We need to be bombarded daily with the gruesome truth of what we are doing. We need to acknowledge our impact and accept that responsibility... Like with eating meat- to each his own so long as it is done with full understanding. To remove yourself from the situation you've facilitated in some way is irresponsible and very childish/naive. However, to support something with personal experience and understanding is acceptable. We all have different opinions... let us just make sure they are educated and as unbiased as possible... if our opinions and resulting decisions are the cause of death to many innocents. Kids should have penpals... or you know... I guess that's really the solution to a lot of things. Connections. By connecting various things (be they concepts/people/cultures/etc.) and attempting to understand- we are more likely to respect different view points and be aware of the overall impact certain actions may have. Okay- that's worded poorly... but I'm too tired to elaborate on that idea- or even articulate it in a clear manner. Perhaps later.
I wish there were goats running around in the US. Of course they'd probably end up as roadkill. We really need to slow our pace of life down a bit. It's out of control and not healthy- we are in a race to the bottom- and not for the better- if we only live once (that we are consciously aware of) why not actually ENJOY it and live for the MOMENT and BEING?!
Casper was amazing. My last few rides on him have been absolutely amazing. I so much prefer working with stallions. Wow. I really love this horse- we truly connect- I need only *think* something and he's carrying it through. The link in communication is so amazingly direct with this horse. I LOVE it.
Rain is WONDERFUL. Hopefully it won't flood my newly planted garden... eek. But how I love sleeping to thunderstorms. To return around 3am- and go to bed around 4am to the rolling thunderclaps and rain was so soothing. However... I'd have to say sleeping to rain in a tent or beneath a tin roof is pure happiness even more. I miss the rainy season of tropical countries... and the drizzle and mist of the Netherlands. We don't quite have either of those in Wisconsin... nor do we get a true spring or autumn. But the countryside was eye candy as I drove home from work today.
I miss
~hearing rain fall on a tin roof.
~the rivers of water swirling w/the red dirt down the streets at the onset of rainy season- after months w/out even 1 cloud in the sky.
~Maria calling w/worry as I race through the downpour to sneak Vlekje (my pet goat) inside the house.
~riding my warm little MerryLegs bareback in the mist on the nearby bridle paths- warming up in deep straw while laying on her back and neck after returning until we dried.
~biking/running in the morning drizzle- to school, for fun, and/or with teammates.
~the winds that made the weeping willows dance and the dachsunds go airborne.
~curling up w/moomoo and a book to watch natures fury from my bedroom window during hurricane season.
~ the comfort of Sting, Danny, Bataal, n Super2 after getting caught in the open barn w/lightning striking the ground in every direction and zinging around the electric fences.
~ falling asleep in the loft as the rain ripples the lake and raps on the roof of the cabin.
I think I'm a wee bit homesick- only problem is I don't have one home. So where does that leave me?
I must run.
I lifted a great weight from my shoulders today... I didn't think it would go through. I was truly made to work for it... but I managed to succeed. Thank goodness... had it not worked out... I don't know that I could have stayed around here.
...must...find...roommate...
Last night I had a dinner of goatcheese and tomatoes and mushrooms on toasted caraway rye bread. mmmmmm... so simple... so perfect... so satisfying.
Why are people in a rush to find the love of their life? Why not just let it happen if it is meant to be? I never was (in a rush- that is)- yet it *happened* and than after 4 years- I realized we are at different points. People may discredit that. People don't know- the situation OR me. I don't easily give away my heart. And I'm very rational about those such matters. I'm realizing more and more that people claim to want one thing- yet live by or need another. Or perhaps they state one thing but want another. I'm also realizing I don't fit the typical mentality on this- for my age/gender/geographical location. Or... if I do... very few people own up to similar views on the matter. Live life one moment at a time. There are too many people jumping into things for the sake of jumping into things- I see this EVERYWHERE. Same goes for people SO anxious to settle. Why the hell settle? I don't ever want to settle. I am not a settler... the world is free... I will live as I please... no person can expect to control me unless I so choose. I can not be stifled. It's so inhibiting to creativy and the independant spirit that brings growth and success. I want to know many people for many things. Intimately understand the WORLD- not just focus my entire being on one other person. I guess I still have to work all of that out. What spurred this thought were the thoughts of others- what is it that can drive some people to be SO engrossed with one another to the point of losing their selves? I don't think its necessary to become partners. I guess I'm just too interested in the world around me... I want to know everything about every subject- but be a generalist at the same time. I feel like by dedicating all of my energy to one thing or one person- I'm missing out on the rest of the world around! How unfortunate! But not everyone works that way or understands. In fact most don't. It's not like a I want cheap interactions- I very much devote myself to what I do- I just don't want to devote everything to one lonely facet on this little crystal of life.
I wonder how that will change- or if it ever will?
I know I do bad things- not intentionally- but I know I take advantage of certain situations without intending to. I know other people, similar to me, do the exact same thing. I know it drives some people nuts. But where does the communication breakdown occur? Is it the fault of miscommunicating/representing on my part- or of misinterpretting and understanding on the others? I don't know. Probably both. That's why direct is good.
The dean I spoke with today reminded me that I'm not meant for one place or situation alone. He didn't do it intentionally- he was probably not even aware- but it was a reminder- nonetheless.
This has nothing to do with any parcticular situation- but these are my thoughts...as they've been... as they are... and as they will likely continue to be.
My muscles are happy sore- I worked my little tail off riding today. Seriously- if you look- I honestly have no tail anymore. Oh wait... I never did... woops... nevermind.
*link from Yzavela http://news.ft.com/cms/s/4ea07b74-c8cd-11d9-87c9-00000e2511c8.html <-its about the Amazon and deforestation.
Damn- my body is seriously craving fruit. I NEED sweet and chewy of the healthy kind right now... but I have NOTHING that fits the bill. Grapes (frozen), raspberry, pear, banana, mango, maracuja, or apples with peanutbutter would all be very welcome. I finished up my pear juice- I guess I could eat a tomatoe... that won't quite do it. I think I'm lacking vitamin C. So for dinner tonight I had soy "burger bits" with mushrooms, goat cheese, basil, cranberry, tomato, rosemary, dried spicey peppers, and garlic. Plus tea with ginger, honey, lemon balm, chamomile, and echinacea. Can you tell I'm trying to boost my immune system just a little? Also- if you use your hands to crush up the dried pepper... don't rub your face immediately after- it BURNS!!!!!
The brother stopped by. I wasn't as welcoming as I should have been. I was caught off guard and a bit pre-occupied. If Jake might have told me he was going to have Dan over at a late hour the night before I had very early work... I may have started out more generous- rather than getting annoyed at his raiding my fridge.