Baby, I'm going to Paris for 4 months
So I’m going to Paris for spring semester. These last few months have been choc full of paperwork and meetings with academic authority types, and now the semester is thankfully over, along with the madness of so many obligations and deadlines and nights of wanting nothing more than to lay in bed and forget all about my formal education.
There was a time where it looked like a semester abroad would never happen due to faulty reasoning that suggested that going away for 4 months somehow meant missing out on something. Although a semester in Paris was indeed part of the original master plan (hah, you know the very same one that included the 5 year Education program) when I was in my first year of college. But by year #2 and the summer that followed, I was fearing the hefty implications of such a prospect: leaving my daily life and forfeiting any potential goodness that it may or may not have in store in order to study abroad, only to return to that same life again, being entirely out of the loop. My god, the “potential goodness” of daily life?! As though I would run the risk of missing out on all the things that never happened before, but would certainly happen if I didn't leave? And you know, of course life would end upon departure from home and recommence upon return. Fuck that; if studying abroad isn't living, I'm not sure what is.
This fear of missing something made sense at the time; I was hopeful. Now I’m not, at least not in the same way. While before I was still rummaging through the possibilities that New Jersey living had to offer (the results of which were sorely disappointing), one could say that I am now ready for a move of sorts. Goodness, I wanted a reason not to go (or for my departure to be a little more difficult at least), something powerful. But I got the lovely consolation prize of a semester in Paris instead, which is truly fantastic. Note: Preference for sameness is a bitch and capable of producing missed opportunities. Don’t give it the time of day.
So after once wanting to stay and indulge in familiarity and possibilities, I now find myself in a very different position where I’m perhaps not only GOING away, but also RUNNING away from this place (“this place” in the broader sense). “Potential goodness” did not come through, again. And one can only hope that this concept will triumph in my time abroad. Whatever, I’ll be damned if I choose to stay here (“here” also in the broader sense). It’s time for a change of both physical and mental scenery.
There was a time where it looked like a semester abroad would never happen due to faulty reasoning that suggested that going away for 4 months somehow meant missing out on something. Although a semester in Paris was indeed part of the original master plan (hah, you know the very same one that included the 5 year Education program) when I was in my first year of college. But by year #2 and the summer that followed, I was fearing the hefty implications of such a prospect: leaving my daily life and forfeiting any potential goodness that it may or may not have in store in order to study abroad, only to return to that same life again, being entirely out of the loop. My god, the “potential goodness” of daily life?! As though I would run the risk of missing out on all the things that never happened before, but would certainly happen if I didn't leave? And you know, of course life would end upon departure from home and recommence upon return. Fuck that; if studying abroad isn't living, I'm not sure what is.
This fear of missing something made sense at the time; I was hopeful. Now I’m not, at least not in the same way. While before I was still rummaging through the possibilities that New Jersey living had to offer (the results of which were sorely disappointing), one could say that I am now ready for a move of sorts. Goodness, I wanted a reason not to go (or for my departure to be a little more difficult at least), something powerful. But I got the lovely consolation prize of a semester in Paris instead, which is truly fantastic. Note: Preference for sameness is a bitch and capable of producing missed opportunities. Don’t give it the time of day.
So after once wanting to stay and indulge in familiarity and possibilities, I now find myself in a very different position where I’m perhaps not only GOING away, but also RUNNING away from this place (“this place” in the broader sense). “Potential goodness” did not come through, again. And one can only hope that this concept will triumph in my time abroad. Whatever, I’ll be damned if I choose to stay here (“here” also in the broader sense). It’s time for a change of both physical and mental scenery.