I might be going crazy...
No, I'm not going crazy, I'm just lonely. I'm sitting in my apartment, as I have all day, by myself, I've been watching romantic scenes from movies on YouTube... which brought me to tears... for the second time in two weeks. I am in need of some companionship. Friends are great, but they only go so far in giving you what you need, I think. I've been single for a long time, going on 8 months now... and it's breaking me. It is all I think about. And I can do nothing but watch other people happy in their relationships or watch sappy movies (I just put on Elf and made some popcorn and I'm getting in my comfy clothes and wrapping up in a blanket... I'm the poster child for depressed single GIRL, jesus christ!) and yearn for what I am watching. I need a girlfriend... not sex or any of that shit... I need a girlfriend. Someone to cozy up to when I'm down, someone to have dinner with, someone to hold my hand EVER, someone to kiss me before class or before I go to bed, and eventually someone to wake up to and start the day with. I just... I need that... and I know who I want to have that with, unfortunately she can't and, as it turns out, doesn't really want to (the latter part doesn't bother me so much, I'm sure I could change her mind if she let me). Ugh... well, I'm watchin' my movie... more self-indulgent sadness to be had. Pity me pity me pity me... stupid. No comments on this one, and I mean it this time, this one is for me. No staying positive and all that tonight... I'm allowed to have my days.