This is what I have been up too...
My friend Amy used to live with me and now has moved back to her moms house. She doesnt really have time to hang out with me anymore, considering she lives 45 minutes away and we both dont have cars to go see each other. She also cant really juggle her 3 boyfriends AND her best friend (thats me) at the same time. YES! She is picking her misters over her sister. I dont feel the love. Amy's 3 boyfriends: 1. Paul. (from Utah, she met him while he was down here visiting ME.) 2. Andrew. (they went to school together, the 6th grade I believe, she called him up to say HI and they have been talking ever since.) 3. Bubba. (she doesnt like him anymore, but he doesnt get the hint.) I, on the other hand, have NO ONE. My quest to find my "certain someone" is failing horribly. That and I havent been on MSN lately to compare and contrast notes with Chase.
I went and saw James today. He was scamming on my friend. Talk about shooting someone down in the dirt. I went to go say Hi and he wanted to get in my friends pants. I feel horrible. Its like Im not good enough or something.
I think I just need sometime to be alone. When Amy moved out I thought it would be the perfect time to get back on my own feet and do things by myself. (Also, my gramma didnt like having Amy there and it was putting a damper on me and my gramma's relationship) Not 3 days after Amy left, I get a call from Tavia. She is in Vegas and needs a place to stay, PERMANANTLY! So ever since Saturday, Tavia has been by my side. I think she should have waited to come, only because me and my gramma were starting to get along again. Now we are bickering like crazy. Tavia wants to stay at my house for a couple MONTHS. And that isnt possible. I said a week MAX! But she doesnt believe me. My gramma says NO! I also think I have changed to much to be friends like we used too. Different things matter to me now. I dont know! WHATEVER!
I wish my life didnt revolve around boys, but I am thinking it does. Thats all I think about and talk about. Maybe I should take a break and not think about how lonely and pathetic I look as of right now. :(
Kristin lynn...
Ps. I forgot to mention. My mom called me Friday night at my dad's house. She said that my sister Erin has been asking about me and she wanted to know if I would come to Erin's kindergarten graduation. I said OF COURSE! I tried to ask my mom how everyone is, but all she could say is Fine. I tried to tell her about my schooling and stuff but she said she didnt want to know. I also told her I sent her a Mother's Day card, and she said that she would look for it in the mail. We talked for 2 minutes and 47 seconds. After I hung up I started to cry. I believe this is why I feel so lonely. If my own mother doesnt want to talk to me, why would anyone else? That was the first time that I had heard her voice in 7 months. I miss my mom and I love her, I wanted her to know that, but I couldnt get the words to come out. Maybe she is right, Im not worth the trouble. I called my gramma and asked if I could go, (my mom's mom is going and I was going to go with them) she said sure, but I had to ask my dad. He thinks its a bad idea, but it was my decision. He doesnt want trouble between me and my mother. My gramma (my moms mom, the one Im going with) assures me that if my mom tries to start in on anything that we could just leave. Hopefully she wont dwell on the past. I love her and Im just like her in someways. I just want her to know that I miss her and I think about her everyday. :(
I went and saw James today. He was scamming on my friend. Talk about shooting someone down in the dirt. I went to go say Hi and he wanted to get in my friends pants. I feel horrible. Its like Im not good enough or something.
I think I just need sometime to be alone. When Amy moved out I thought it would be the perfect time to get back on my own feet and do things by myself. (Also, my gramma didnt like having Amy there and it was putting a damper on me and my gramma's relationship) Not 3 days after Amy left, I get a call from Tavia. She is in Vegas and needs a place to stay, PERMANANTLY! So ever since Saturday, Tavia has been by my side. I think she should have waited to come, only because me and my gramma were starting to get along again. Now we are bickering like crazy. Tavia wants to stay at my house for a couple MONTHS. And that isnt possible. I said a week MAX! But she doesnt believe me. My gramma says NO! I also think I have changed to much to be friends like we used too. Different things matter to me now. I dont know! WHATEVER!
I wish my life didnt revolve around boys, but I am thinking it does. Thats all I think about and talk about. Maybe I should take a break and not think about how lonely and pathetic I look as of right now. :(
Kristin lynn...
Ps. I forgot to mention. My mom called me Friday night at my dad's house. She said that my sister Erin has been asking about me and she wanted to know if I would come to Erin's kindergarten graduation. I said OF COURSE! I tried to ask my mom how everyone is, but all she could say is Fine. I tried to tell her about my schooling and stuff but she said she didnt want to know. I also told her I sent her a Mother's Day card, and she said that she would look for it in the mail. We talked for 2 minutes and 47 seconds. After I hung up I started to cry. I believe this is why I feel so lonely. If my own mother doesnt want to talk to me, why would anyone else? That was the first time that I had heard her voice in 7 months. I miss my mom and I love her, I wanted her to know that, but I couldnt get the words to come out. Maybe she is right, Im not worth the trouble. I called my gramma and asked if I could go, (my mom's mom is going and I was going to go with them) she said sure, but I had to ask my dad. He thinks its a bad idea, but it was my decision. He doesnt want trouble between me and my mother. My gramma (my moms mom, the one Im going with) assures me that if my mom tries to start in on anything that we could just leave. Hopefully she wont dwell on the past. I love her and Im just like her in someways. I just want her to know that I miss her and I think about her everyday. :(