My Old Man was Born to Rock. He's Still tryin to Beat the Clock
Okay, so I talked to someone awesome on my flist/buddylist for like ever about the guy that tore my heart out when I was a kid and kept it. Anyway, she's a really good listener and I'm pretty sure that in some really warped way I haven't wanted to let go of him.
Kristin came in while I was still...getting reaquainted with ignoring the issue completely. I spoke to her a bit about it. She knew immediately anyway. We had a looong, deep talk about Eric (mine) and Hyram (hers if that's how you spell his name). We were both really really honest about our experiences. lol. We talked about what songs we couldn't listen to without crying and how those relationships shaped us. We talked about why I was so in love/obsessed with him at the time. We agree that it had a lot to do with my relationship with my parents at the time.
Anyway, she doesn't think I'm crazy for still looking for him when I drive by certain places. She says she does the same for him.
I shiver when I feel vulnerable. Then I start complaining about being cold to cover it up. She knows but she doesn't say anything.
This all led to me telling her exactly how I felt about her boyfriend. I told her that it made me sad because I know that she can do better and she's wasting her time with him. I let her know again how I felt about the love triangle going on with her, him and his ex girlfriend. She's been talking about getting my sister jumped and I've made it clear to both of them that if anything happens to Kristin he's getting fucked up and so is his girlfriend. I was talking to mom about that and she was pleased with the way I handled the situation.
Then mom got sad that I told Kristin things that I didn't tell her. I told her that it was only because I was trashed...but it's also because she was always part of the problem and she's not understanding... Plus she alienates me using God. If she tells me that I just have to pray one more time I'll throw myself out the window. I haven't prayed since I was a kid. I just really really don't feel like the big man digs me that much. I think I hurt her feelings because I looked her straight in the eye today and told her that I'd never felt anything in church at all. She looked shocked that I held her eye.
Kristin told me that her boyfriend asked her to move in with him. I actually managed to keep my cool. I told her that there's nothing worse than being with someone just because you don't want to be somewhere else. I also mentioned that he's had around ten jobs in the half of year that we've known him. Apparently he said something like this: But if I have to take care of you, I'll have to keep my job.
I was shocked. I mentioned to her that our father treated us the way that he did because he didn't want to be there. Hence my title. He wanted to be out partying so he mistreated us. Why would anyone want to put themselves in that situation...
Long emotional day much?
Kristin came in while I was still...getting reaquainted with ignoring the issue completely. I spoke to her a bit about it. She knew immediately anyway. We had a looong, deep talk about Eric (mine) and Hyram (hers if that's how you spell his name). We were both really really honest about our experiences. lol. We talked about what songs we couldn't listen to without crying and how those relationships shaped us. We talked about why I was so in love/obsessed with him at the time. We agree that it had a lot to do with my relationship with my parents at the time.
Anyway, she doesn't think I'm crazy for still looking for him when I drive by certain places. She says she does the same for him.
I shiver when I feel vulnerable. Then I start complaining about being cold to cover it up. She knows but she doesn't say anything.
This all led to me telling her exactly how I felt about her boyfriend. I told her that it made me sad because I know that she can do better and she's wasting her time with him. I let her know again how I felt about the love triangle going on with her, him and his ex girlfriend. She's been talking about getting my sister jumped and I've made it clear to both of them that if anything happens to Kristin he's getting fucked up and so is his girlfriend. I was talking to mom about that and she was pleased with the way I handled the situation.
Then mom got sad that I told Kristin things that I didn't tell her. I told her that it was only because I was trashed...but it's also because she was always part of the problem and she's not understanding... Plus she alienates me using God. If she tells me that I just have to pray one more time I'll throw myself out the window. I haven't prayed since I was a kid. I just really really don't feel like the big man digs me that much. I think I hurt her feelings because I looked her straight in the eye today and told her that I'd never felt anything in church at all. She looked shocked that I held her eye.
Kristin told me that her boyfriend asked her to move in with him. I actually managed to keep my cool. I told her that there's nothing worse than being with someone just because you don't want to be somewhere else. I also mentioned that he's had around ten jobs in the half of year that we've known him. Apparently he said something like this: But if I have to take care of you, I'll have to keep my job.
I was shocked. I mentioned to her that our father treated us the way that he did because he didn't want to be there. Hence my title. He wanted to be out partying so he mistreated us. Why would anyone want to put themselves in that situation...
Long emotional day much?