A new start...
I guess there is more relevance in using my blog here to talk about my new relationship, than my other pre-existing blogs. This blog is already linked to trans-related resources, so it's cool. Xanga is friends-locked, and dedicated mostly to a male celebrity. My other livejournal is more venom than healthy, and if necessary, shall continue to use
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glad to hear you have moved on and forward.
i actually was considering contacting you by email, but thought it would be awkward to send to all your email adresses (not knowing which is still active). the reason for contact was a hope that we could be friends. though, now, its more awkward to know you have gone to the opposite end of the spectrum. i must have hurt you very badly. so sorry.
from skimming through your blog briefly, i find that you have matured a lot. which is a good thing. :)
all the best to you and your partner. i hope everything works out to your dreams and wishes. i am truly glad that you have found your mate and hope she can fulfill your needs.
lastly, i am sorry for bringing you so much sadness and madness. as well as sorry for not keeping in touch with you previously. i needed to take a break and let go.
do take care of yourself, and your partner.
and i am sure, your girlfriend is not an idiot like me. ;)
(hey dandelion-float's girlfriend, you and her are in the same geographic location, dont let go of her so easily.)
p.s. this is the first time i have ever previewed what i am about to send out. just to make sure i dont get anyone pissed off.
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I just saw the message today. My apologies for the late reply.
I don't wish to say more about the break-up; it was indeed painful and brutal, but it is over. Perhaps it is fated anyway, because I still haven't received my green card letter. I don't plan to become an illegal immigrant you know... :)
I am not sure if I have matured, but I did learn a lot from the previous relationship. I hope I can do better with my gf; at least I promise myself, one day if it ends, I won't do a repeat broadcast of what happened between us at the very end. It was a bloody mess, and I am sorry for it.
I am also sorry for giving you so much pain during those two years. I have my own emotional demons, and I released them onto you, because I think you were too nice to me. I realised as with people who work with me, I am a fire kirin of some sort: I need someone who can subdue me in constructive ways, so my best can come out. My gf can do it. I guess I am very unsuitable for you after all...
I trust that you have let go, or at least is controlling yourself, because you have not given me any trouble. To be honest, I was going wtf when I saw you on the forum. My gf and I did not have a good start; my mum knew from Day 1 we were dating (naturally she opposed, more vehemently than she did with you), at least you and I had 3 months cemented in before she found out, and she felt it was too late to separate us. Some members of the forum community are also not too happy about us dating.
Thus, I am sorry if I come across as too harsh in my entries. I am very protective of my r/s with my gf now at this stage, and I am doing what it takes to protect the r/s (with lessons learnt previously). I am sorry for the times I did not spend enough effort to protect our relationship. I have only given up my pride on being proud and out this time, so that we may stand a better chance... I did wonder that had I kept quiet about us, would we have had lesser problems?
I will take good care of her, and I believe she will take good care of me too.
Thanks for the preview, you should do it actually each time. It takes a few minutes more, but can save you hours of explanation. :)
All the best to you, and your (future) partner.
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i never thought you would plan to be an illegal immigrant anyway.. :P
actually, my next few years has been laid out to me by my father. so i guess, you can guess what that is. even with my very stubborn personality, i cannot fight it.
please do not apologise for the past 2 years. none is needed.
lastly, if you'd like me to leave the forum, just let me know.
p.s. thank you for the previewing advice. :)
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It's ok, you are welcome as long as you come in peace; enjoy your stay in the forum. Especially the drama that is brewing there now by someone who called my gf a cross-dresser. I promise I will shoot him with a Hello Kitty rifle if I see him. :)
All the best to you with your dad.
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i am sure she will be happier after transition. i wish her luck and all the best.
regarding forum, i have mixed feelings about it. not sure about what to post or how to reply. nothing seems to interest me much.
hahahaha you havent changed much, cute as ever, still hello kitty everything. :P at least no bling on the rifle.
to be frank, i am truly glad to be able to talk to you without hostility. i mean, contacting you could either turn out ugly or nice, i was taking my chances. i am glad that we can put the past behind us. you can accuse me of being selfish, but now i feel relieved after hearing back from you.. thank you.
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I will unblock you on msn. You can unblock me and add me back using the leizi account. All my email accounts are still active.
The kitty rifle was chosen on purpose: it's pretty insulting to be shot with something so cute and feminine.
Actually, now I kinda guessed the reason for the break-up. I am relieved too... I believe you are a good person, and I am glad I was never wrong. It hurt, but I know it was necessary, and will happen anyway. Thanks for releasing me then, if not I would not have met my current gf. I met her after a series of chain reactions from the break-up, haha...
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