gosh that new kid is cute.
so.... i've come to find out that some things are better left unsaid.
which is almost ironic because i had sort of lacksidaisically planned to have the first words on my typewritter be:
i don't always say everything i think... but maybe i should.
perhaps it's not that they are better left unsaid, it's just that there is a better way of saying them. so this new cute guy i work with. alex. he's cute. there's no doubt about it in anyone's mind (probably including his own). and he's a flirt. which is awesome. i love it. i look forward to seeing him at work. actually, he is the ONLY reason that i want to go to work tomorrow. and he's only working 3-6. so for me to put in 9 hours so that i can see him for approximately 3 is saying something. i don't think that every girl in the city would think that he was gorgeous or even hot but i think that his being a flirt makes him irresistibly attractive.
unfortunately, all the other girls at parker agree.
now i have always prided myself on being different. which is a good thing. i am proud of myself for being outgoing, even if no one else appreciates it. i know laurs appreciates it because she doesn't have it. i dont know why i have no problem talking to complete strangers, but i don't.
for example, mom asked me to run into starbucks the other day to get her a tea. shaken. black. not sweet. i had alot to remember. tell me to get a youth. small. long sleeve. navy. monogramed. usj. polo. and i'd be fine. but drink orders are a whole new breed. so i was repeating over and over in my head what she wanted and i am bee-lining to the door and this really hot blonde blue-eye blue shirted guy held the door open for me. but he did so in an exaggerated way. he opened and held the door open for me about four minutes before i got there. there was no one else around. he was really polite. and i brushed past him and mumbled a 'thanks' between recitations of the order. i didn't even notice how cute he was until i was through with my order. he had walked in and sat down to read. he didn't get in line or anything. so while they were making my drink, i went and sat down next to him with the cool pick up line of "what are you reading?" gosh he was cute. didn't get the name but i apologized for not being more grateful and repeated a short summary of the above story, thanking him more sincerely. we talked for a few minutes and then i got my mom's tea and left.
so that's the kind of person i am. not the kind of girl i am. the kind of person i am. so this new kid alex shows up and i can already tell one of the girls i work with has a thing for him. whatever though. she's staying. he's staying. he'll be a senior at ecs. i don't care. but then he turns out to be a confidant flirt. i think his confidence was the most impressive. maybe that's why i said what i did. he would brush past me or not move out of the way so i would have to squeeze between him and the wall or make eye contact with me just long enough for me to practically trip over something because i'd gotten so lost in his beautiful blue eyes. but i also don't want to leave parker on bad terms with any of my co-workers. especially kirby because i like her a lot.
but i found myself doing chores i hate so i could catch a glimpse of him in the aisles. like put-aways. is there a worse thing at parker? buckets full of clothes that have been tried on and/or rejected by some fourth grader and then (for the most part) wadded up and thrown over our shoulders. but i grabbed every pair of pants in those buckets because alex and paul were downstocking pants. kind of. they weren't even downstocking generic pants. they were down stocking flat front pants. which are totally isolated from the other pants. so i had to just hope that some usj customers had guessed all the wrong sizes so i could see alex. how crazy stupid is that?
so after awhile i realized that i needed to tell him that he was cute. or that i thought he was cute. and so did everyone else. but the everyone else part was only to be a last resort if he looked at me like i was totally nuts. so i did. i found him in an aisle and i did that thing i do when i'm trying to be brave... i avoided thinking. that's probably where i go wrong. i had planned on telling him that he was cute. that's about as much as i thought it out. so i said to him... "you kow what alex, you're cute." see. not so bad. but that's because you are reading it on a screen. had you been there, you would have realized what an idiot i really am. i've thought about this probably too much, so i've almost perfected in my mind how it SHOULD have happened. he should have been facing one aisle and i should have been facing the other and i should have thrown it out there like it was nothing. like "you know alex, that oxford doesn't go there..." in that manner. but no. i overdid it. i backed him, and myself, into the walls and i told him point blank 18 inches from his face. and after i got it out it was kinda like... where was i going with that? was that a question? 'hey alex, were you aware that you are attractive or am i the first person to bring this to stunning detail to your attention?' i must have had something like that thought because i let go of him, turned to busy myself with anouther shirt, and asked him if any of the other girls had told him that. all i really remember from that overly embarassing moment was that i flushed. i think. i think that i... i mean i blushed. i think i turned obliviously bright red. something less than sexy on a red head, i might add.
we small talked for a few seconds but i didn't dare look at him again. i rushed, probably a little too eagerly, out of the aisle to go to the register, the exact place i had avoided all afternoon since he got there. the one place i assumed i was safe from him, a stockroom boy. he was soon busy with the other girls so i started thinking about how dumb i was and how i was going to title this entry (a semi-foreignized thought as of late). i had the first line down though. actually that whole first paragraph was on a floppy disk in my brain somewhere. i could probably recite it i've rewritten it so many times.
i guess that i had that thought of some things are better left unsaid because i figured that after our excessively embarassing encounter moments before, that things between me and alex were pretty much ruined. "it's ok though breeze," i talked myself down while averting any further meetings with him in the stockroom, "you're leaving in a few days and you'll probably never see him again except for maybe at christmas and now you know better."i had merely overestimated his reciprocated outgoing personality and made a simple, but irrevocable mistake. irrevocable being the key word. or at least the only word i was focusing on at the time.
the weird thing was that i never, until now, thought about why i would have done such a thing in the first place. really though, i didn't learn any better. that was a coin toss. i didn't know him very well at all. and even if i had, it still would have been a coin toss. exactly 50 50 straight down the middle. either he would have adored that i had the bold courage (laurs don't even think about accusing me of speaking redundantly.... woody forest...) to have said something or he would have thought i was a total freak slut. i guess i was just hoping that the latter would reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally not be the outcome.
which brings me to my next point. why i didn't learn my lesson. also the best part of this unduly lengthy account of my life that i know all of you enjoy because you keep complaining that i haven't updated my lj in months.
alex didn't act any differently. he's still a flirt (thank god). and he doesn't really care that i was a moron. he flirts with all the other girls, which is probably why i would work 9 hours to see him for 3, which makes me oddly jealous of sorts. but he's still alex.
i just can't help thinking what would have happened if he had been here all summer.
(poor jeremy.)
which is almost ironic because i had sort of lacksidaisically planned to have the first words on my typewritter be:
i don't always say everything i think... but maybe i should.
perhaps it's not that they are better left unsaid, it's just that there is a better way of saying them. so this new cute guy i work with. alex. he's cute. there's no doubt about it in anyone's mind (probably including his own). and he's a flirt. which is awesome. i love it. i look forward to seeing him at work. actually, he is the ONLY reason that i want to go to work tomorrow. and he's only working 3-6. so for me to put in 9 hours so that i can see him for approximately 3 is saying something. i don't think that every girl in the city would think that he was gorgeous or even hot but i think that his being a flirt makes him irresistibly attractive.
unfortunately, all the other girls at parker agree.
now i have always prided myself on being different. which is a good thing. i am proud of myself for being outgoing, even if no one else appreciates it. i know laurs appreciates it because she doesn't have it. i dont know why i have no problem talking to complete strangers, but i don't.
for example, mom asked me to run into starbucks the other day to get her a tea. shaken. black. not sweet. i had alot to remember. tell me to get a youth. small. long sleeve. navy. monogramed. usj. polo. and i'd be fine. but drink orders are a whole new breed. so i was repeating over and over in my head what she wanted and i am bee-lining to the door and this really hot blonde blue-eye blue shirted guy held the door open for me. but he did so in an exaggerated way. he opened and held the door open for me about four minutes before i got there. there was no one else around. he was really polite. and i brushed past him and mumbled a 'thanks' between recitations of the order. i didn't even notice how cute he was until i was through with my order. he had walked in and sat down to read. he didn't get in line or anything. so while they were making my drink, i went and sat down next to him with the cool pick up line of "what are you reading?" gosh he was cute. didn't get the name but i apologized for not being more grateful and repeated a short summary of the above story, thanking him more sincerely. we talked for a few minutes and then i got my mom's tea and left.
so that's the kind of person i am. not the kind of girl i am. the kind of person i am. so this new kid alex shows up and i can already tell one of the girls i work with has a thing for him. whatever though. she's staying. he's staying. he'll be a senior at ecs. i don't care. but then he turns out to be a confidant flirt. i think his confidence was the most impressive. maybe that's why i said what i did. he would brush past me or not move out of the way so i would have to squeeze between him and the wall or make eye contact with me just long enough for me to practically trip over something because i'd gotten so lost in his beautiful blue eyes. but i also don't want to leave parker on bad terms with any of my co-workers. especially kirby because i like her a lot.
but i found myself doing chores i hate so i could catch a glimpse of him in the aisles. like put-aways. is there a worse thing at parker? buckets full of clothes that have been tried on and/or rejected by some fourth grader and then (for the most part) wadded up and thrown over our shoulders. but i grabbed every pair of pants in those buckets because alex and paul were downstocking pants. kind of. they weren't even downstocking generic pants. they were down stocking flat front pants. which are totally isolated from the other pants. so i had to just hope that some usj customers had guessed all the wrong sizes so i could see alex. how crazy stupid is that?
so after awhile i realized that i needed to tell him that he was cute. or that i thought he was cute. and so did everyone else. but the everyone else part was only to be a last resort if he looked at me like i was totally nuts. so i did. i found him in an aisle and i did that thing i do when i'm trying to be brave... i avoided thinking. that's probably where i go wrong. i had planned on telling him that he was cute. that's about as much as i thought it out. so i said to him... "you kow what alex, you're cute." see. not so bad. but that's because you are reading it on a screen. had you been there, you would have realized what an idiot i really am. i've thought about this probably too much, so i've almost perfected in my mind how it SHOULD have happened. he should have been facing one aisle and i should have been facing the other and i should have thrown it out there like it was nothing. like "you know alex, that oxford doesn't go there..." in that manner. but no. i overdid it. i backed him, and myself, into the walls and i told him point blank 18 inches from his face. and after i got it out it was kinda like... where was i going with that? was that a question? 'hey alex, were you aware that you are attractive or am i the first person to bring this to stunning detail to your attention?' i must have had something like that thought because i let go of him, turned to busy myself with anouther shirt, and asked him if any of the other girls had told him that. all i really remember from that overly embarassing moment was that i flushed. i think. i think that i... i mean i blushed. i think i turned obliviously bright red. something less than sexy on a red head, i might add.
we small talked for a few seconds but i didn't dare look at him again. i rushed, probably a little too eagerly, out of the aisle to go to the register, the exact place i had avoided all afternoon since he got there. the one place i assumed i was safe from him, a stockroom boy. he was soon busy with the other girls so i started thinking about how dumb i was and how i was going to title this entry (a semi-foreignized thought as of late). i had the first line down though. actually that whole first paragraph was on a floppy disk in my brain somewhere. i could probably recite it i've rewritten it so many times.
i guess that i had that thought of some things are better left unsaid because i figured that after our excessively embarassing encounter moments before, that things between me and alex were pretty much ruined. "it's ok though breeze," i talked myself down while averting any further meetings with him in the stockroom, "you're leaving in a few days and you'll probably never see him again except for maybe at christmas and now you know better."i had merely overestimated his reciprocated outgoing personality and made a simple, but irrevocable mistake. irrevocable being the key word. or at least the only word i was focusing on at the time.
the weird thing was that i never, until now, thought about why i would have done such a thing in the first place. really though, i didn't learn any better. that was a coin toss. i didn't know him very well at all. and even if i had, it still would have been a coin toss. exactly 50 50 straight down the middle. either he would have adored that i had the bold courage (laurs don't even think about accusing me of speaking redundantly.... woody forest...) to have said something or he would have thought i was a total freak slut. i guess i was just hoping that the latter would reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally not be the outcome.
which brings me to my next point. why i didn't learn my lesson. also the best part of this unduly lengthy account of my life that i know all of you enjoy because you keep complaining that i haven't updated my lj in months.
alex didn't act any differently. he's still a flirt (thank god). and he doesn't really care that i was a moron. he flirts with all the other girls, which is probably why i would work 9 hours to see him for 3, which makes me oddly jealous of sorts. but he's still alex.
i just can't help thinking what would have happened if he had been here all summer.
(poor jeremy.)