why am i updating?
i was able to walk outside for 2 minutes today as the sun was shining and this morning's fog left a light mist in sight, giving my surroundings a slightly dirty lense to look through.
i get off of work in 13 minutes. giving me an hour to study for my quiz. i don't want to try anymore. i have two midterms awaiting my "diligent" work habits this weekend. a dinner that i hope will bring good company but am doubting whether i will be satisfied. two parties that i don't want to show my face at either. a massage by a girl who is learning.
last night i dreamt that i watched a boat sink but had convinced myself that it wasn't really sinking. but then the bubbles of last breaths were rising to the surface and i couldn't ignore the subconscious reality anymore and finally said, "i think that boat just sank." and stood there. and watched. because i didn't care that it was sinking. and i had this removed hope that they [whoever "they" were] were ok.
there's a constant prickly feeling just behind my eyes lately.
i get off of work in 13 minutes. giving me an hour to study for my quiz. i don't want to try anymore. i have two midterms awaiting my "diligent" work habits this weekend. a dinner that i hope will bring good company but am doubting whether i will be satisfied. two parties that i don't want to show my face at either. a massage by a girl who is learning.
last night i dreamt that i watched a boat sink but had convinced myself that it wasn't really sinking. but then the bubbles of last breaths were rising to the surface and i couldn't ignore the subconscious reality anymore and finally said, "i think that boat just sank." and stood there. and watched. because i didn't care that it was sinking. and i had this removed hope that they [whoever "they" were] were ok.
there's a constant prickly feeling just behind my eyes lately.