Radiant Dawn
Radiant Dawn
Donghae/Sungmin | R | Troy!AU
1935 Words
Warnings: Incest, Character Death
A/N: Loosely based on the movie/epic Troy. In case it's confusing, Sungmin is casted as Hector, the older prince, Donghae is Paris, the younger one. Heechul is King Agamemnon, Siwon is Achilles, and Sunny is Sungmin's wife. In case you're curious, I originally ( Read more... )
but of course i'd read it~ and clearly you pulled through *\o/*
HOWEVER. WHAT IS THIS 'NOT THAT GOOD' AND 'SOMEWHAT LACKLUSTER' THING YOU'RE GOING ON ABOUT >:|
The sun complimented Sungmin’s body, his eyes twinkling and bright, and Donghae almost melted when his older brother leaned in to kiss him softly. what was that about not being able to write sensual, you liar, have your pants caught fire yet :| well, to be fair, this wasn't the most sensual thing to quote because there were definitely more suggestive things, but i liked how soft and airy and pretty this was; so sweet, and deceptively calm, how min's reassuring hae and there's that 'how did they get from this childish grudge to the point where everything went so very very wrong ;AAAAA;' aspect, what with how Donghae wanted to argue back, saying that, no, it wouldn’t be okay because Heechul was going to wage war against their country because Donghae did the most foolish thing out of spite, inspired by jealousy. He merely wanted to make Sungmin value him more as a lover and not as a brother, because they were so playful in spite of the forbidden secrecy deal, ugh, the underlying drama of how hae just wanted to, but couldn't, be min's lover and being the catalyst for the spiral and angst and huhuhu~
the recurring sunlight/moonlight framed it nicely, and omg, that last scene and how an outline was all that remained ;~~~~~; how it was moonlight's silver lining (pun on hope, was this?) once upon a time, but then it became all empty and hopeless. i really like the transition from the scene before where golden yellow sand reminiscent of the sunny glow that used to surround min => crimson red; it's like a visual of that glow fading into something darker and irreparable, and then where min literally faded from hae's sight... you play mean :'| (but you know i'm a total angst!whore, so mean hurts in a good way >.> and since it's pretty~)
(also, lmfao, heechul as king agamemnon, omg, a+ for the imagery, especially the implications of fighting with achilles!siwon over spoils of war :'D nyahahaha, but i digress~)
thanks for sharing~!
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you quoted such a normal sentence LOLOLOL, personally the most sensual thing I wrote was donghae standing on sungmin's feet and tipping up to kiss him as he ties the silk curtains around them. that was one of the first lines i wrote and i was like, this is giving me hope for something sensual and romantic and then it literally just sprailed from there and i could never write better than that.
hae is a child, he's still a child, no matter what paris is wimpy, childish, irrational, and ultimately he pays the price, and i just totally went nuts with the slash and made min and hae actually love each other like that because i'm weird.
secrecy, because forbidden love is the best kind of love. and imagery i strived a tad bit harder for the imagery and colours, and the sun/moon. \o/ i personally liked it, the cycle of sun/moon coming and going, like min being cold and warm, their uncertaintiy about everything comes and goes, blahblahblah.
heechul as agamemnon, i planned to legit write jessica in, cuz u know, heechul is all like, heesica i wanan be jessica and demands to sing her lines for gee. siwon was just, iuno, it made sense. strong muscular perfection with no flaw, siwon in a nutshell.
<3
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donghae standing on sungmin's feet and tipping up to kiss him as he ties the silk curtains around them reminded me of dream team and hyuk letting min stand on his feet because min was barefoot and the ground was hot. that and hae massaging min's feet. and what do you mean~ i thought the sensual bits still came through, all soft and pretty~ personally i think it's harder investing emotion in sensuality as opposed to, you know, just diving right into it. that balance between dragging/cliche and romantic/believable... the airily hidden feel totally complements the fic :3 secrecy, because forbidden love is the best kind of love. and imagery i strived a tad bit harder for the imagery and colours, and the sun/moon. \o/ i personally liked it, the cycle of sun/moon coming and going, like min being cold and warm, their uncertaintiy about everything comes and goes, blahblahblah. i liked it, even though i hadn't thought of it that way :O
i just realized...so siwon dies because hae shoots his ankle. brb, lmfao.
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