(no subject)
How did this happen to me? How are 2 people so happy and in love one day...and then just alone the next.
I don't know if I'll ever get used to this...feeling unhappy and upset all the time. If you guys know me...im a happy person, or else I used to be. Now it's an effort..a real effort to appear happy at all. I try not to look the way I feel, but I feel like there is a literally a hole inside me.
And I just don't know how to fx it....I pull it together when I have to, but inside im a mess. and if i appear ok for awhile..thats only because something else has distracted me long enough not to think about him.
I'm terrified that this is going to destroy my belief in love..ive never been a romantic, but I did believe in love and how it can transform lives and do amazing things. But it's hard not to lose faith when it goes away. I pray I don't end up cynical and unable to trust, but right now I'm having a hard time.
They say that good things fall apart so better things can fall together....but what happens when GREAT things fall apart. And I'm not exagerating when I say GREAT or Amazing..because it was ..for 5 years. And now...I'm sitting here alone trying to figure out what the hell happened...i mean I know what happened, but it doesnt seem reason enough to Throw everything away.
sigh...what a mess. Iknow I'll get through it...ill be ok someday...but seriously i dont want to be ok right now. As long as Im still miserable I'm still connected to him. I need to get it together...but seriously, hardest thing ive ever had to do.
I don't know if I'll ever get used to this...feeling unhappy and upset all the time. If you guys know me...im a happy person, or else I used to be. Now it's an effort..a real effort to appear happy at all. I try not to look the way I feel, but I feel like there is a literally a hole inside me.
And I just don't know how to fx it....I pull it together when I have to, but inside im a mess. and if i appear ok for awhile..thats only because something else has distracted me long enough not to think about him.
I'm terrified that this is going to destroy my belief in love..ive never been a romantic, but I did believe in love and how it can transform lives and do amazing things. But it's hard not to lose faith when it goes away. I pray I don't end up cynical and unable to trust, but right now I'm having a hard time.
They say that good things fall apart so better things can fall together....but what happens when GREAT things fall apart. And I'm not exagerating when I say GREAT or Amazing..because it was ..for 5 years. And now...I'm sitting here alone trying to figure out what the hell happened...i mean I know what happened, but it doesnt seem reason enough to Throw everything away.
sigh...what a mess. Iknow I'll get through it...ill be ok someday...but seriously i dont want to be ok right now. As long as Im still miserable I'm still connected to him. I need to get it together...but seriously, hardest thing ive ever had to do.