everyone has one of those days...
mine just happened to be last nite......
he persists and won't leave me
i had another bad dream last nite...about kevin
it starts out the same as the rest of them do without fail....i'm visitin him in jail..when i get to his cell...he's hangin and his cell mate is no where to be found...his face has this unforgetable expression that won't leave me alone..so i run...and the more i run..the more i see his face...so i run into a cell and go sit in a corner crying with my brothers dead body just hangin in front of me...i call ppl with a cell phone (where it came from i have no clue) and no ones home...the last person i call is andy...and as i'm tellin him where i am so he can come pick me up...the phone line cuts out...i look up and kevin's body is lying on the floor..i go to his body and lay my head on his chest and just cry and cry and cry...then i get up...go to the sheriff..and threaten to kill him if he doesn't kill me first..of course he refuses so i pick up a gun and threaten him again..he pulls his gun out on me and tells me he knows how i'm feelin blah blah blah...and i just SCREAM at him tellin and askin him all these questions like"when the fuk did u ever lose a brother that u were close to? tell me that mister i know fukkin everything" and then i drew the last straw...i told him i know a solution to this....he put his gun down and said come here and talk to me about it....i just stared blankly at him and said "no one can help me"....then i shot myself.....
i woke up and my radio was still on....and the song playin was tears in heaven..a sappy song that makes me wanna cry..well at 2 this mornin...i didn't wanna cry...i had to..the mental images were just unbearable and the tears just came and came....it was the most horrible dream i ever had in my life..i've never commited suicide in my dreams...but i guess everything has to happen once
well i'm off to hopefully get over this....
"don't fear the reaper"
razorblade romance....jess
he persists and won't leave me
i had another bad dream last nite...about kevin
it starts out the same as the rest of them do without fail....i'm visitin him in jail..when i get to his cell...he's hangin and his cell mate is no where to be found...his face has this unforgetable expression that won't leave me alone..so i run...and the more i run..the more i see his face...so i run into a cell and go sit in a corner crying with my brothers dead body just hangin in front of me...i call ppl with a cell phone (where it came from i have no clue) and no ones home...the last person i call is andy...and as i'm tellin him where i am so he can come pick me up...the phone line cuts out...i look up and kevin's body is lying on the floor..i go to his body and lay my head on his chest and just cry and cry and cry...then i get up...go to the sheriff..and threaten to kill him if he doesn't kill me first..of course he refuses so i pick up a gun and threaten him again..he pulls his gun out on me and tells me he knows how i'm feelin blah blah blah...and i just SCREAM at him tellin and askin him all these questions like"when the fuk did u ever lose a brother that u were close to? tell me that mister i know fukkin everything" and then i drew the last straw...i told him i know a solution to this....he put his gun down and said come here and talk to me about it....i just stared blankly at him and said "no one can help me"....then i shot myself.....
i woke up and my radio was still on....and the song playin was tears in heaven..a sappy song that makes me wanna cry..well at 2 this mornin...i didn't wanna cry...i had to..the mental images were just unbearable and the tears just came and came....it was the most horrible dream i ever had in my life..i've never commited suicide in my dreams...but i guess everything has to happen once
well i'm off to hopefully get over this....
"don't fear the reaper"
razorblade romance....jess