Dubya oh dubya
LAST NIGHT AT BACKSTREETS: FRIDAY, MARCH 24.
Dubya oh dubya is all I hafta say. After the “date” I was acting pissy again and sorta ignoring him/snubbing him/cold shouldering him. I was talking to Derrick again, the kid that randomly IMed me last night when I was writing the prev entry and ended up meeting him. When Backstreets was getting kinda bleh, we walked over to All-Stars where I saw Greg talking to some chicks (who were strippers, lol) and a buddy of his, whose house he asked if I wanted to hit up afterwards. It wasn’t noticeable that I had seen him, but it was obvious he had seen me.
I dunno. As far as Derrick I feel like he’s insurance. And basically every other guy I’ve met within the last month or so. Shitty but true. Not gonna lie. He’s 26. Older. More mature. I dunno.
NEway, so we went to Brad’s but Brad wasn’t there yet so we were waiting in the parking lot. It was freezing. He coulda helped me keep warm (in no way so I mean sex, btw). Wow, bitchy comment. W/e I’ve gotten my share of asshole comments lately. I dunno how in the world we got to talking about this, but we started talking about us for some reason. Maybe we were talking about the strippers or something, I dunno. He said there were 3 things keeping him from it. I really don’t remember what any of them are. Yeah, I’d had a few ciders at Backstreets. I think one of them was the freedom thing.
He said he was afraid of something but didn’t know what.
I reiterated that if nothing’s gonna go anywhere I need to pull out b/c I can’t afford to get hurt nemore. I hope I mentioned the “its no one’s fault” thing. Damn my memory’s never been this horrible! Drinkin’s killin’ my braincellies! NEway…
He then said something kind of shocking… that he sometimes gets the feeling I DON’T wanna be w/ him and gave examples like Yoyo (and others but I don’t remember) and said it was like I didn’t claim him. I said I was shocked and that the only reason I did that was because I wanted to give him SPACE and not make it seem like I was clingy and stuff.
“I WANT TO claim you…”
“Then let’s do it.”
“Pardon?”
“Let’s do it.”
Brad pulls up. Perfect timing. Introduces me to Brad as his girlfriend. Famazing.
Brad’s house was crazy. Between amateur porn and that video camera, damn! I don’t even remember if we fooled around before going to bed. Wait, wait… yeeeeeah we did…! In the morning we didn’t leave till like 11 and all the roommates had already gone, one had come and gone and brought his gf and her kid, and we were still in bed. Crazy times man, crazy times.
I hope this works out. Even if the feeling is that it may not last long, I sure hope it can.