Gone and Back Again Epilogue
Title-Gone and Back Again Chapter 10
Disclaimer-Don't own Glee or Torchwood
Rating-Teen
Warnings-AU.Character death(Torchwood) Slash, Bullying and in later chapters maybe a bit of torture-Torchwood style. A couple of OC's.
Pairings-Eventual Kurt/Blaine Past Ianto/Jack-Past Gwen/Jack-Rhys/Gwen Unrequited Kurt/Jack.
Main Character/Focus-Kurt Hummel, his family and Blaine. Ianto in a weird way as well. Blaine comes in at Chapter 4
Spoilers-Basically Season 1-2 of both Glee and Torchwood. Some events will happen differently in this story than they did in the shows.
At the age of 28, Kurt and Blaine decided to get married.
"Kurt that's wonderful!" Carole exclaimed over the phone, "who proposed?"
Ianto had thought a million times about how to propose to Lisa. The cybermen took her before he could even pick out the ring.
"Neither of us," Kurt looked down at the ring in his hand, "we were just talking around town, stopped in front of a jewelry store started joking around and next thing I know we're inside buying each other rings and calling our parents."
"I see," Carole laughed, "well all the same, I'm happy for you as is your father and Finn," she paused, "has Blaine called his parents?"
"Yea," Kurt sighed, "they're very happy for us."
"Have you guys set a date?"
"During the fall-Mid October I think."
"Kurt, that's seven months away!"
"I know," Kurt said, "it's not a lot of time but I'm sure we can pull it off."
"I'm sure you can Kurt," Carole chuckled, "I think I better go check on your father. He went into your room after he handed the phone to me and hasn't gone back out. I think he's having a little bit of that "my baby is all grown" up moment."
"Alright," Kurt said, "I'll call you guys later on alright?"
Kurt hung up the phone. He lifted his hand and touched the ring Blaine had given him.
Jack had laughed about their silly wedding traditions.
"Hey you," Blaine walked up to him a huge smile on his face, "how did it go?"
"Well Dad and Carole were happy," Kurt shrugged, "although Carole said that Dad might be having a moment."
"A moment?"
"I think I just reminded him that I'm no longer his baby boy that wanted some high heel shoes."
Blaine laughed, "I see."
"What did your parents say?"
"Mom started crying and saying something about my baby blanket. Dad was happy too, I think," Blaine shook his head, "I still think he's mad at me for "stepping down" from the company."
"You were never in a position of power in your father's company though."
"Doesn't matter," Blaine rolled his eyes, "I mean he's happy for us of course but I don't think he's done being angry with me."
"He'll get over," Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek, "I say that by the time our wedding comes around he'll be fine."
"Probably," Blaine moved further into the living room, "I was thinking about ordering some pizza. What do you think?"
Ianto couldn't ever really eat pizza again. Every time he even smelled it, all he could think about was Lisa lying dead on the floor, blood pouring out of her, wires sparking-
Kurt shook his head and rubbed his stomach.
"As long as it's vegetarian and thin crust yes," Kurt followed his fiancé.
()()()()
The day of the wedding Kurt woke up in a hotel alone. Blaine had insisted on sleeping in separate rooms the night before they married. Kurt had been against it but caved in at the last minute. He could never deny Blaine anything.
Lisa had him wrapped around his finger. Jack only needed to look at him and Ianto would give in.
Closing his eyes Kurt stumbled out of bed shivering. Today was his big day. October 15th.
The stomping of metal boots-the smell of blood the sight of Jack kissing Gwen the feel of the bomb in his hands
Someone knocked on the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Kurt." His father answered.
"Hold on," Kurt grabbed his robe and slipped it on before opening the door. Burt smiled at him before going into the room.
"Just woke up?"
"Yea," Kurt rubbed a hand down his chest, "I did."
"Sleep well?"
Kurt bit his lip and shrugged, "I slept ok."
Burt chuckled,
"Nervous?"
Kurt started nodding but stopped.
"Not really," he sat down on his bed, "I'm happy, Dad…I'm happy that I'm marrying Blaine. I've wanted to marry him for so long," his voice cracked, "I love him so much and-"he started to cry. Burt stood up and pulled Kurt into a hug.
"I've been having those nightmares again," Kurt whimpered, "every fucking year I have nightmares," he gasped, "I was hoping-I am hoping that if I get married on this day maybe-maybe it'll stop."
Burt's heart ached,
"Oh kid-"
"It's not as bad as it once was," Kurt said in a rush, "remember? When I was still living with you I would spent the first 15 days unable to sleep?"
Burt nodded.
"It's only a couple of days now but it still hurts," Kurt shuddered, "I feel like I'm-like I'm there," his voice sounded distant, "I feel the bomb in my hands-I feel it exploding against my chest and-"
"Shh," Burt rubbed his hands up and down his son's back, "it's ok, it's ok…they're just dreams Kurt."
"No they're not," Kurt's spoke with an accent, "I died…I died Dad. I died after I watched him kiss her and I hated him and I hated her and-"
Burt grabbed his son's face and forced it back so that he could look into Kurt's eyes.
"Snap out of it kid," he took a deep breath, "they're just nightmares Kurt. They're nightmares," he brushed Kurt's hair back, "you're ok. You're here to get married to Blaine and you are going to have a great life with him ok?"
Kurt blinked, "Yea…yea ok," he laughed and stepped back from his father, "Sorry about that. I didn't actually sleep that well," he sighed, "but that's ok. I think the excitement of the day is going to keep me awake."
"That's good," Burt cleared his throat, "does Blaine know about-"
"Of course Dad," Kurt said, "it's kind of hard to keep my nightmares/night terrors a secret when he's sleeping right next to me."
Burt coughed, "I see."
"It's fine," Kurt waved his hand, "everything is fine. In a couple of hours I'm going to get married to the man of my dreams and everything will be fine."
"Of course," Burt said his grin a little strained, "everything will be fine."
()()()()(()
"Do you Blaine take Kurt to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Ianto had imagined their wedding for years. Watching Lisa walk down the aisle with her father, her white dress trailing behind her-
"I do."
Lisa had wanted to have a big wedding. Ianto had wanted to have a small one but he knew that he'd eventually give into Lisa. He couldn't say no.
"And do you, Kurt Hummel take Blaine to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
I can't wait to become your wife Ianto Jones
"I do."
Blaine sniffled and wiped a tear off his cheek.
"I know pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss."
Kurt trembled as he reached for his husband, his arms looping around Blaine's neck.
I'll always love you, Lisa.
"I'll always love you, Blaine." Kurt whispered into his husband's ear, "always."
()()()()
Despite wearing the perception filter Jack knew it was risky to be at Kurt's wedding. He was pretty sure that nobody would see him.
"I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss."
Blaine was crying and Kurt looked happy; happier than Ianto had ever looked in the time that Jack had known him.
There was applause from everybody. Jack leaned against the wall staring at Kurt. It was hard for him to see Kurt as…well as Kurt. Sometimes Jack would look at the younger man and all he'd see is Ianto. All he wanted to do is run to him, hug him, fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness but then he would remember that this man-this boy wasn't his Ianto.
Biting his lips Jack watched as Kurt and Blaine walked down the aisle. He stayed behind until everybody had left the room. Closing his eyes he grabbed the perception filter around his neck before disappearing in a beam of light.
()()()()()
When Kurt turned 32 Blaine dropped a bomb on him.
"I want to have children."
Kurt chocked on his piece of toast.
"What?"
Blaine was vibrating in his seat.
"I think we're ready-I mean my job pays well. You're job pays well. We've been married for a few years-"
"Ok I get that," Kurt said, "but…how long have you've been thinking about this? About having a kid?"
"A while," Blaine flushed, "for a couple of years actually."
"You've never said anything."
Ianto was glad that Lisa never brought children up. He loved his niece and nephew but Ianto doubted that he'd be a good father.
"Well…you've never talked about having children."
Gwen would sometimes talk about having a child. Ianto had wanted to scoff and had bitten his tongue so as to not to insult her. Torchwood and children didn't mix. Captain Jack and children didn't mix.
"I," Kurt laughed, "We'll have to talk about this a little bit more but-"
Sometimes Ianto wondered what it would have been like-marrying Lisa. Sometimes he even wondered what a child of theirs have looked like.
"But we can?" Blaine said smile wide, "we can adopt-or we can use a surrogate; whatever you want."
Ianto had found out about Alice and Steven by accident. He never told Jack that he knew about his family.
"Yes," Kurt whispered as something warm coiled in his stomach, "we can."
()()()()()
They had talked about it for months. Finally after six months of talking Blaine sat Kurt down.
"I have our donor and our surrogate."
"Do tell."
Blaine grinned.
"Santana wants to be our donor."
Kurt's jaw dropped.
"Are you kidding me?"
"What's wrong with Santana?"
"Look Blaine," Kurt said, "I know you guys are…close but-how did she even agree to this?"
Blaine shrugged, "She said that she doesn't want to be a mother but that she doesn't want to deprive the world of her genes so-"
"Of course," Kurt blew out a breath, "Of course," he smiled, "it could be worst. Who is going to be our surrogate?"
"My cousin Mary-you've met her-"Kurt shuddered and nodded, "I asked her about it months ago. She said she would be ok with being the surrogate as long as the egg wasn't hers so…"
Kurt grinned, "Now we just need to-"
"I want you to be the sperm donor."
Again Kurt was speechless.
"I just…for the first time," Blaine shrugged, "Santana said she'd love to bless us with her spawn," he bit his lip, "the next one can have my DNA but…"
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
Lisa had told him often how much she loved him. Jack never told him anything.
Kurt sniffled and wiped a tear off his cheek, "I love you too."
()()()()()
Mary jokingly threaten to kill Kurt the first couple of months of her pregnancy. When her fifth month rolled around she chased Kurt around his house and out into the street with a baseball bat. After that incident it was decided that Mary could not be left alone with Kurt. A week before Mary's due date Brittany called them,
"The water broke," she told them, "I think the baby is tired of being in there. Santana and I are taking her to the hospital." With that said she hung up. Kurt grabbed the bags they had packed while Blaine kept staring at the phone, his whole body shaking.
"Blaine we need to go." Kurt pulled at his husbands arm.
"Oh my God…oh my God Kurt this is it! This is it!"
"Yes it is," Kurt directed Blaine outside, "breathe sweetheart."
"I am!" Blaine said panting.
Once they were in the car Blaine kept talking about everything they were going to do once the baby was born. Kurt listened quietly.
Rhy's talked about having a family with Gwen. He'd ask Ianto about maternity leave and if Jack would allow it. Ianto had smiled and told him that they could work something out and bit his tongue so as to not tell Rhy's that his wife was most likely going to bear him Jack's son.
"-but seriously, they can't date until they're like in college-maybe not even then."
Kurt hummed and pulled into a parking space. Blaine looked at him,
"We're going to be parents."
Torchwood and children didn't mix.
"Yea…we are."
()()()()()()
"He's so tiny," Blaine murmured cradling their newborn son. Kurt stood at the door twisting his hands, "hey baby boy," Blaine turned his head to look at his husband.
"Come here," he bounced the baby a little. Trembling Kurt went to stand next to Blaine.
"Do you want to hold him? You didn't really get to at the hospital."
Ianto didn't see his nephew until he was six months old. He didn't meet Mica until she was nearly two.
"I'm," Kurt licked his lips, "I'm scared I'll drop him or something."
"You won't," Blaine smiled, "come on."
Nodding Kurt held out his arms. Carefully Blaine placed their son into his arms. The baby flailed a little but soon calmed down. Kurt laughed a little.
"Hi Carwyn," Kurt took hold of his son's hand, "hi."
"He looks like you," Blaine hooked his chin over Kurt's shoulder, "I think he has your eyes."
Carwyn opened his eyes a little.
Ianto had been terrified when his sister deposited his nephew onto his lap. He was sure that he would do something to hurt him.
"Is-is someone coming over today?"
"I think Rachel is coming over. Your parents are going to be here tomorrow and my parents are going to be here the day after that. Oh and Santana and Brittany are also coming tomorrow."
"Are they?"
"Yep," Blaine chuckled, "Brittany sounded really excited."
"I'm sure she is," Kurt whispered.
"Are you crying?" Blaine asked.
"I never thought I would have this," Kurt's voice became distant, "Lisa and I never talked about children."
Blaine froze.
"I had a niece and nephew. I loved them but I couldn't be with them."
"Kurt."
"Jack has a family," Carwyn yawned. Kurt ran his finger down his son's nose, "a daughter and a grandson."
"A grandson?"
"He's immortal," Blaine stood in front of his husband. "Always dies but he doesn't stay dead," Kurt's voice shook a little, "it hurt. It hurt to see him die, it killed me-"
Blaine placed a kiss on Kurt's lips. After a second Kurt responded.
"Are you ok?"
Kurt looked down at their son, "I'm just a little overwhelmed. We have a son, Blaine. We have our baby."
Relieved Blaine took Carwyn, "Yea we do."
Kurt closed his eyes for a moment.
"Thank you," he said, "thank you."
Blaine placed Carwyn in his crib, "For what?"
Kurt hugged him from behind and kissed his neck.
"For being you. For being with me. For giving me this life," his voice went soft, "I would do anything for you and our son," Blaine tried not to shake, "anything."
"I know," Blaine answered, "I know."
()()()()()()
Three weeks before Carwyn turned two, Kurt got a phone call from a publishing company. They wanted to publish the comic he had been working on for the past 10 years.
"I can-yea I can get the draft to you in a month," he grinned, "no thank you!"
He hung up the phone and shouted, "BLAINE!" he waited a second before yelling again, "BLAINE!"
"Shh!" his husband came down the stairs, "Carwyn just fell asleep!"
"Sorry sorry," Kurt twirled Blaine around, "I got it Blaine! I finally got it!"
"That's great," Blaine said confused, "you finally got what?"
Kurt led Blaine to the couch. He took a deep breath.
"Ok…so you know how I've been working on that comic book for the past few years?"
Blaine's eye twitched. He was not a fan of Kurt's comic.
"Yes?"
"Empire Star publishing company wants to publish it," Blaine's eyes went wide, "I know I had the same reaction!"
"That's great!" Blaine's enthusiasm was sincere but his smile is forced, "I know you wanted to publish it."
Kurt sighed and pulled Blaine closer to him until his husbands head was resting on his shoulder,
"I know you don't like my comic," Blaine didn't say anything, "I know it makes you nervous."
"He's in it," Blaine spits out, "he's practically in every page," he kneels down in front of Kurt, "I still don't understand how you can draw him after what happened."
After Lisa, Ianto had seen Jack as his shadow. When Jack came back Ianto realized that he was the shadow not Jack.
"This comic helped me," Kurt said, "You know that. Writing and drawing this comic has-it's given me peace in a way."
Blaine nodded, "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"Sometimes I dream about him," Blaine whispered, "I dream about him-I dream about guns and-I don't know. But it's bad."
Ianto doubted he would he see his 30th birthday. He was Torchwood. There was no such thing as retirement for them.
"Still," Blaine stood up and kissed Kurt's forehead, "if it makes you happy…and if it helps you than ok," he shrugged, "just be…be careful ok?"
When Ianto still worked for Torchwood 1, an employee betrayed the agency-betrayed Ms. Hartman. Ianto saw him being dragged into the bowels of the tower. A week later he was asked to come up with a cover story.
"I'm always careful," Kurt replied with a smile, "could you hand me the phone? I have to call my dad."
()()()()()
A year after receiving that phone call Kurt's comic was published. Kurt had dropped a copy of it in Blaine's lap before rushing off with Carwyn settled on his hip.
"I promised to go and give a copy to Rachel!" he said, "Tell me what you think when I come back."
That said Kurt went out to the door with their son. It took Blaine a good five minutes to even look down at the comic. A man with blue eyes and black hair stared back at him holding a coffee cup with a hexagon printed on it. Blaine ran his hand over the title-3. Blaine had never really read the comic; he had skimmed it on occasion but he'd never read it. Hand shaking he turned to the first page.
The same man from the cover was there, preparing coffee. Blaine read the introduction.
"People disappeared every second, every hour of every day in every city."
Blaine swallowed.
"Cardiff was no different."
The man in the comic opened the door in the back of the coffee shop. He was greeted by an Asian woman.
"Maybe people went missing in Cardiff more often than in any other city."
The Asian woman led the man down some stone stairs.
"But nobody ever thought much of it."
"You always make the best coffee," said the Asian woman. The man inclined his head and smiled.
"And that's just how the members of 3 liked it."
For the next hour Blaine read his husband's comic. After he was done he got up and went to his husband's office or as Kurt called it his art room. Blaine sat down in the middle of the room and looked at the stacks of painting to his right. The first one portrayed a man Kurt called the Doctor. He wore a long trench coat, a brown suit and red converse. In his hand was what Kurt called a sonic screwdriver. Behind him was the universe. Biting his lip Blaine carefully moved the painting to the side. The next one showed a woman Kurt called Suzie. On her right hand was a huge metal glove that seem to glow black.
"I've been drawing her since I was in elementary school."
Blaine didn't turn around. Kurt sighed and moved to sit next to Blaine.
"Where's Carwyn?"
"He refused to leave Rachel's place so I left him there. She promised to have him back before his bedtime."
Kurt pulled Blaine closer to him.
"Suzie?"
"Suzie Costello," Kurt said, "brilliant but murderous."
"Does it really make you feel better?"
Kurt stood up and moved aside several portraits until he reached a painting of Ianto. He was done in black and white but his eyes shone blue. Behind him was a million hexagons.
"When was the last time I had a really bad nightmare?"
Blaine frowns and thinks, "It…" he smiles when the answer comes to him, "Almost a year."
Kurt nodded, "Sometimes I still dream about them," he said, "but the dreams don't make me want to throw myself out of a window."
"That's good."
"I think…" Kurt sat back down next to his husband, "I think I'm finally getting over it."
()()()()()
The comic had landed on Jack's desk a month before it hit the stores. Seconds after receiving it UNIT had called to demand an explanation. Jack had made something up and hung up. He then stared at Ianto-and it WAS Ianto staring back at him from that cover page. Kurt was in trouble. Shoving the comic into his pocket Jack started calling in favors from both friends and enemies. He had to work fast. If he didn't UNIT or another Torchwood branch would try to get to Kurt. Jack couldn't allow that to happen.
Five hours later UNIT was pissed and the rest of Torchwood was suspicious but Jack didn't care. It had been decided that he would 'monitor' Kurt to make sure that no secrets would be divulged. Jack had read the comic. When he was done he swallowed a sob. Yes it had to do with aliens. Yes it was very similar to Torchwood but Kurt mentioned no real cases and none of the aliens he had encountered as Ianto.
Laughing he put the comic book away in his personal safe.
"Oh Ianto," Jack whispered, "my Ianto…still as brilliant as ever.
It had been years since Jack had last seen Kurt but that didn't mean Jack didn't think about him at least once a day. That didn't mean that Jack didn't occasionally hack into Kurt's computer to see what was going on with him. It was just better for Jack to remain in Cardiff and Kurt in New York.
Jack loved Ianto. Jack was also fond of Kurt. However, Kurt loved Blaine and was living the life he deserved. The least Jack could do was stay away. Smiling Jack placed the comic in his personal safe along with the picture of Ianto.
"I love you, Ianto."
()()()()()
A year after Kurt released his comic Blaine stumbled upon another comic his husband drew. "3" was action packed, witty and occasionally dark. The book in Blaine's hand was gruesome and full of poison. On the cover page was a large "T". Swallowing he continued to skim through the comic. There was blood and death in nearly every page. After watching a man coughing up rose petals Blaine dropped the comic on Kurt's desk.
"I'm not going to publish that one."
Kurt came up behind him a smile on his lips.
"Oh?"
"It's too real," Blaine tried not to think about that, "I would get in trouble," Kurt took his husband's face into his hands, "I don't want you or Carwyn to get in trouble."
"Then why-"
"If I draw it, I don't dream it."
Kurt hadn't had any nightmares since the other comic was released. Not even in October and not in May.
"I don't even look at it," Kurt touched the comic but didn't pick it up, "I just draw and then go."
Nodding Blaine gave his husband a kiss.
"It's almost two," Kurt said, "you promised Carwyn to pick him up today."
"Alright," Blaine gave him a kiss, "have you cooked dinner yet?"
Kurt shook his head.
"How about we eat out tonight?"
"Depends," Kurt grinned, "where do you want to go?"
"That Chinese place?"
Laughing Kurt rolled his eyes, "Of course."
Blaine knocked his shoulder into Kurt's, "I know you love their hot and sour soup."
"It's good." Kurt patted Blaine's ass, "now go on pick up your son."
"I'll be back in thirty."
After Blaine's car roared away Kurt turned his attention to the comic lying in front of him. Closing his eyes he shoved it into a desk drawer. Letting out a breath Kurt opened his eyes and sat down at his desk. Biting his lip he unlocked another drawer. Inside was a single sketch; one Kurt had drawn when Blaine and Carwyn were both out of the house. One he wouldn't dare show Blaine. Despite knowing that he's alone in the house Kurt looked around the room before staring down at the drawing.
Jack stared back. Trembling Kurt traced the older man's face with his finger. He had been telling the truth when he told Blaine that he'd not had any nightmares this past year.
I love you
But Kurt had other dreams.
I love you
Blaine didn't remember what happened in the days they went missing so long ago in Cardiff. Kurt lied when he said he didn't either.
I love you
A year ago Kurt started getting flashes of memories. Jack was in all of them.
I love you.
There was one memory that stuck with Kurt.
I love you
Jack was kneeling in front of him crying. Kurt was wearing the coat.
Love the coat
And then Jack had said it.
I love you
Kurt didn't want to believe it at first but after a while he started to remember more and more. True he didn't remember anything of importance. He didn't know if he had been taking to Torchwood. He didn't know who else was there but he remembered Jack's touches and kisses. He remembered feeling loved by Jack-if only for a second.
Chuckling Kurt takes the drawing and kisses it.
"I loved you Jack," he whispered. Kurt put the drawing away and looked out the window. For the first time in his life the memories inside Kurt felt at peace.
A/N-So this is the 3rd time I've re-written this epilogue. Not 100% happy with it but I like it still. And so ends this story. Finally. This story came to me last year. The original plot was going to be for Kurt to regain his memories as soon as Ianto died. Except, the memories would be at the forefront so Kurt would become Ianto. Except…that meant that Kurt would regain his memories when he was 10 and that would be traumatizing. Even if he regained his memories when he was 16 it would have still be bad. So…I changed it. It makes more sense this way I think anyways. Tell me what you think.
Disclaimer-Don't own Glee or Torchwood
Rating-Teen
Warnings-AU.Character death(Torchwood) Slash, Bullying and in later chapters maybe a bit of torture-Torchwood style. A couple of OC's.
Pairings-Eventual Kurt/Blaine Past Ianto/Jack-Past Gwen/Jack-Rhys/Gwen Unrequited Kurt/Jack.
Main Character/Focus-Kurt Hummel, his family and Blaine. Ianto in a weird way as well. Blaine comes in at Chapter 4
Spoilers-Basically Season 1-2 of both Glee and Torchwood. Some events will happen differently in this story than they did in the shows.
At the age of 28, Kurt and Blaine decided to get married.
"Kurt that's wonderful!" Carole exclaimed over the phone, "who proposed?"
Ianto had thought a million times about how to propose to Lisa. The cybermen took her before he could even pick out the ring.
"Neither of us," Kurt looked down at the ring in his hand, "we were just talking around town, stopped in front of a jewelry store started joking around and next thing I know we're inside buying each other rings and calling our parents."
"I see," Carole laughed, "well all the same, I'm happy for you as is your father and Finn," she paused, "has Blaine called his parents?"
"Yea," Kurt sighed, "they're very happy for us."
"Have you guys set a date?"
"During the fall-Mid October I think."
"Kurt, that's seven months away!"
"I know," Kurt said, "it's not a lot of time but I'm sure we can pull it off."
"I'm sure you can Kurt," Carole chuckled, "I think I better go check on your father. He went into your room after he handed the phone to me and hasn't gone back out. I think he's having a little bit of that "my baby is all grown" up moment."
"Alright," Kurt said, "I'll call you guys later on alright?"
Kurt hung up the phone. He lifted his hand and touched the ring Blaine had given him.
Jack had laughed about their silly wedding traditions.
"Hey you," Blaine walked up to him a huge smile on his face, "how did it go?"
"Well Dad and Carole were happy," Kurt shrugged, "although Carole said that Dad might be having a moment."
"A moment?"
"I think I just reminded him that I'm no longer his baby boy that wanted some high heel shoes."
Blaine laughed, "I see."
"What did your parents say?"
"Mom started crying and saying something about my baby blanket. Dad was happy too, I think," Blaine shook his head, "I still think he's mad at me for "stepping down" from the company."
"You were never in a position of power in your father's company though."
"Doesn't matter," Blaine rolled his eyes, "I mean he's happy for us of course but I don't think he's done being angry with me."
"He'll get over," Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek, "I say that by the time our wedding comes around he'll be fine."
"Probably," Blaine moved further into the living room, "I was thinking about ordering some pizza. What do you think?"
Ianto couldn't ever really eat pizza again. Every time he even smelled it, all he could think about was Lisa lying dead on the floor, blood pouring out of her, wires sparking-
Kurt shook his head and rubbed his stomach.
"As long as it's vegetarian and thin crust yes," Kurt followed his fiancé.
()()()()
The day of the wedding Kurt woke up in a hotel alone. Blaine had insisted on sleeping in separate rooms the night before they married. Kurt had been against it but caved in at the last minute. He could never deny Blaine anything.
Lisa had him wrapped around his finger. Jack only needed to look at him and Ianto would give in.
Closing his eyes Kurt stumbled out of bed shivering. Today was his big day. October 15th.
The stomping of metal boots-the smell of blood the sight of Jack kissing Gwen the feel of the bomb in his hands
Someone knocked on the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Kurt." His father answered.
"Hold on," Kurt grabbed his robe and slipped it on before opening the door. Burt smiled at him before going into the room.
"Just woke up?"
"Yea," Kurt rubbed a hand down his chest, "I did."
"Sleep well?"
Kurt bit his lip and shrugged, "I slept ok."
Burt chuckled,
"Nervous?"
Kurt started nodding but stopped.
"Not really," he sat down on his bed, "I'm happy, Dad…I'm happy that I'm marrying Blaine. I've wanted to marry him for so long," his voice cracked, "I love him so much and-"he started to cry. Burt stood up and pulled Kurt into a hug.
"I've been having those nightmares again," Kurt whimpered, "every fucking year I have nightmares," he gasped, "I was hoping-I am hoping that if I get married on this day maybe-maybe it'll stop."
Burt's heart ached,
"Oh kid-"
"It's not as bad as it once was," Kurt said in a rush, "remember? When I was still living with you I would spent the first 15 days unable to sleep?"
Burt nodded.
"It's only a couple of days now but it still hurts," Kurt shuddered, "I feel like I'm-like I'm there," his voice sounded distant, "I feel the bomb in my hands-I feel it exploding against my chest and-"
"Shh," Burt rubbed his hands up and down his son's back, "it's ok, it's ok…they're just dreams Kurt."
"No they're not," Kurt's spoke with an accent, "I died…I died Dad. I died after I watched him kiss her and I hated him and I hated her and-"
Burt grabbed his son's face and forced it back so that he could look into Kurt's eyes.
"Snap out of it kid," he took a deep breath, "they're just nightmares Kurt. They're nightmares," he brushed Kurt's hair back, "you're ok. You're here to get married to Blaine and you are going to have a great life with him ok?"
Kurt blinked, "Yea…yea ok," he laughed and stepped back from his father, "Sorry about that. I didn't actually sleep that well," he sighed, "but that's ok. I think the excitement of the day is going to keep me awake."
"That's good," Burt cleared his throat, "does Blaine know about-"
"Of course Dad," Kurt said, "it's kind of hard to keep my nightmares/night terrors a secret when he's sleeping right next to me."
Burt coughed, "I see."
"It's fine," Kurt waved his hand, "everything is fine. In a couple of hours I'm going to get married to the man of my dreams and everything will be fine."
"Of course," Burt said his grin a little strained, "everything will be fine."
()()()()(()
"Do you Blaine take Kurt to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Ianto had imagined their wedding for years. Watching Lisa walk down the aisle with her father, her white dress trailing behind her-
"I do."
Lisa had wanted to have a big wedding. Ianto had wanted to have a small one but he knew that he'd eventually give into Lisa. He couldn't say no.
"And do you, Kurt Hummel take Blaine to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
I can't wait to become your wife Ianto Jones
"I do."
Blaine sniffled and wiped a tear off his cheek.
"I know pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss."
Kurt trembled as he reached for his husband, his arms looping around Blaine's neck.
I'll always love you, Lisa.
"I'll always love you, Blaine." Kurt whispered into his husband's ear, "always."
()()()()
Despite wearing the perception filter Jack knew it was risky to be at Kurt's wedding. He was pretty sure that nobody would see him.
"I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss."
Blaine was crying and Kurt looked happy; happier than Ianto had ever looked in the time that Jack had known him.
There was applause from everybody. Jack leaned against the wall staring at Kurt. It was hard for him to see Kurt as…well as Kurt. Sometimes Jack would look at the younger man and all he'd see is Ianto. All he wanted to do is run to him, hug him, fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness but then he would remember that this man-this boy wasn't his Ianto.
Biting his lips Jack watched as Kurt and Blaine walked down the aisle. He stayed behind until everybody had left the room. Closing his eyes he grabbed the perception filter around his neck before disappearing in a beam of light.
()()()()()
When Kurt turned 32 Blaine dropped a bomb on him.
"I want to have children."
Kurt chocked on his piece of toast.
"What?"
Blaine was vibrating in his seat.
"I think we're ready-I mean my job pays well. You're job pays well. We've been married for a few years-"
"Ok I get that," Kurt said, "but…how long have you've been thinking about this? About having a kid?"
"A while," Blaine flushed, "for a couple of years actually."
"You've never said anything."
Ianto was glad that Lisa never brought children up. He loved his niece and nephew but Ianto doubted that he'd be a good father.
"Well…you've never talked about having children."
Gwen would sometimes talk about having a child. Ianto had wanted to scoff and had bitten his tongue so as to not to insult her. Torchwood and children didn't mix. Captain Jack and children didn't mix.
"I," Kurt laughed, "We'll have to talk about this a little bit more but-"
Sometimes Ianto wondered what it would have been like-marrying Lisa. Sometimes he even wondered what a child of theirs have looked like.
"But we can?" Blaine said smile wide, "we can adopt-or we can use a surrogate; whatever you want."
Ianto had found out about Alice and Steven by accident. He never told Jack that he knew about his family.
"Yes," Kurt whispered as something warm coiled in his stomach, "we can."
()()()()()
They had talked about it for months. Finally after six months of talking Blaine sat Kurt down.
"I have our donor and our surrogate."
"Do tell."
Blaine grinned.
"Santana wants to be our donor."
Kurt's jaw dropped.
"Are you kidding me?"
"What's wrong with Santana?"
"Look Blaine," Kurt said, "I know you guys are…close but-how did she even agree to this?"
Blaine shrugged, "She said that she doesn't want to be a mother but that she doesn't want to deprive the world of her genes so-"
"Of course," Kurt blew out a breath, "Of course," he smiled, "it could be worst. Who is going to be our surrogate?"
"My cousin Mary-you've met her-"Kurt shuddered and nodded, "I asked her about it months ago. She said she would be ok with being the surrogate as long as the egg wasn't hers so…"
Kurt grinned, "Now we just need to-"
"I want you to be the sperm donor."
Again Kurt was speechless.
"I just…for the first time," Blaine shrugged, "Santana said she'd love to bless us with her spawn," he bit his lip, "the next one can have my DNA but…"
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
Lisa had told him often how much she loved him. Jack never told him anything.
Kurt sniffled and wiped a tear off his cheek, "I love you too."
()()()()()
Mary jokingly threaten to kill Kurt the first couple of months of her pregnancy. When her fifth month rolled around she chased Kurt around his house and out into the street with a baseball bat. After that incident it was decided that Mary could not be left alone with Kurt. A week before Mary's due date Brittany called them,
"The water broke," she told them, "I think the baby is tired of being in there. Santana and I are taking her to the hospital." With that said she hung up. Kurt grabbed the bags they had packed while Blaine kept staring at the phone, his whole body shaking.
"Blaine we need to go." Kurt pulled at his husbands arm.
"Oh my God…oh my God Kurt this is it! This is it!"
"Yes it is," Kurt directed Blaine outside, "breathe sweetheart."
"I am!" Blaine said panting.
Once they were in the car Blaine kept talking about everything they were going to do once the baby was born. Kurt listened quietly.
Rhy's talked about having a family with Gwen. He'd ask Ianto about maternity leave and if Jack would allow it. Ianto had smiled and told him that they could work something out and bit his tongue so as to not tell Rhy's that his wife was most likely going to bear him Jack's son.
"-but seriously, they can't date until they're like in college-maybe not even then."
Kurt hummed and pulled into a parking space. Blaine looked at him,
"We're going to be parents."
Torchwood and children didn't mix.
"Yea…we are."
()()()()()()
"He's so tiny," Blaine murmured cradling their newborn son. Kurt stood at the door twisting his hands, "hey baby boy," Blaine turned his head to look at his husband.
"Come here," he bounced the baby a little. Trembling Kurt went to stand next to Blaine.
"Do you want to hold him? You didn't really get to at the hospital."
Ianto didn't see his nephew until he was six months old. He didn't meet Mica until she was nearly two.
"I'm," Kurt licked his lips, "I'm scared I'll drop him or something."
"You won't," Blaine smiled, "come on."
Nodding Kurt held out his arms. Carefully Blaine placed their son into his arms. The baby flailed a little but soon calmed down. Kurt laughed a little.
"Hi Carwyn," Kurt took hold of his son's hand, "hi."
"He looks like you," Blaine hooked his chin over Kurt's shoulder, "I think he has your eyes."
Carwyn opened his eyes a little.
Ianto had been terrified when his sister deposited his nephew onto his lap. He was sure that he would do something to hurt him.
"Is-is someone coming over today?"
"I think Rachel is coming over. Your parents are going to be here tomorrow and my parents are going to be here the day after that. Oh and Santana and Brittany are also coming tomorrow."
"Are they?"
"Yep," Blaine chuckled, "Brittany sounded really excited."
"I'm sure she is," Kurt whispered.
"Are you crying?" Blaine asked.
"I never thought I would have this," Kurt's voice became distant, "Lisa and I never talked about children."
Blaine froze.
"I had a niece and nephew. I loved them but I couldn't be with them."
"Kurt."
"Jack has a family," Carwyn yawned. Kurt ran his finger down his son's nose, "a daughter and a grandson."
"A grandson?"
"He's immortal," Blaine stood in front of his husband. "Always dies but he doesn't stay dead," Kurt's voice shook a little, "it hurt. It hurt to see him die, it killed me-"
Blaine placed a kiss on Kurt's lips. After a second Kurt responded.
"Are you ok?"
Kurt looked down at their son, "I'm just a little overwhelmed. We have a son, Blaine. We have our baby."
Relieved Blaine took Carwyn, "Yea we do."
Kurt closed his eyes for a moment.
"Thank you," he said, "thank you."
Blaine placed Carwyn in his crib, "For what?"
Kurt hugged him from behind and kissed his neck.
"For being you. For being with me. For giving me this life," his voice went soft, "I would do anything for you and our son," Blaine tried not to shake, "anything."
"I know," Blaine answered, "I know."
()()()()()()
Three weeks before Carwyn turned two, Kurt got a phone call from a publishing company. They wanted to publish the comic he had been working on for the past 10 years.
"I can-yea I can get the draft to you in a month," he grinned, "no thank you!"
He hung up the phone and shouted, "BLAINE!" he waited a second before yelling again, "BLAINE!"
"Shh!" his husband came down the stairs, "Carwyn just fell asleep!"
"Sorry sorry," Kurt twirled Blaine around, "I got it Blaine! I finally got it!"
"That's great," Blaine said confused, "you finally got what?"
Kurt led Blaine to the couch. He took a deep breath.
"Ok…so you know how I've been working on that comic book for the past few years?"
Blaine's eye twitched. He was not a fan of Kurt's comic.
"Yes?"
"Empire Star publishing company wants to publish it," Blaine's eyes went wide, "I know I had the same reaction!"
"That's great!" Blaine's enthusiasm was sincere but his smile is forced, "I know you wanted to publish it."
Kurt sighed and pulled Blaine closer to him until his husbands head was resting on his shoulder,
"I know you don't like my comic," Blaine didn't say anything, "I know it makes you nervous."
"He's in it," Blaine spits out, "he's practically in every page," he kneels down in front of Kurt, "I still don't understand how you can draw him after what happened."
After Lisa, Ianto had seen Jack as his shadow. When Jack came back Ianto realized that he was the shadow not Jack.
"This comic helped me," Kurt said, "You know that. Writing and drawing this comic has-it's given me peace in a way."
Blaine nodded, "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"Sometimes I dream about him," Blaine whispered, "I dream about him-I dream about guns and-I don't know. But it's bad."
Ianto doubted he would he see his 30th birthday. He was Torchwood. There was no such thing as retirement for them.
"Still," Blaine stood up and kissed Kurt's forehead, "if it makes you happy…and if it helps you than ok," he shrugged, "just be…be careful ok?"
When Ianto still worked for Torchwood 1, an employee betrayed the agency-betrayed Ms. Hartman. Ianto saw him being dragged into the bowels of the tower. A week later he was asked to come up with a cover story.
"I'm always careful," Kurt replied with a smile, "could you hand me the phone? I have to call my dad."
()()()()()
A year after receiving that phone call Kurt's comic was published. Kurt had dropped a copy of it in Blaine's lap before rushing off with Carwyn settled on his hip.
"I promised to go and give a copy to Rachel!" he said, "Tell me what you think when I come back."
That said Kurt went out to the door with their son. It took Blaine a good five minutes to even look down at the comic. A man with blue eyes and black hair stared back at him holding a coffee cup with a hexagon printed on it. Blaine ran his hand over the title-3. Blaine had never really read the comic; he had skimmed it on occasion but he'd never read it. Hand shaking he turned to the first page.
The same man from the cover was there, preparing coffee. Blaine read the introduction.
"People disappeared every second, every hour of every day in every city."
Blaine swallowed.
"Cardiff was no different."
The man in the comic opened the door in the back of the coffee shop. He was greeted by an Asian woman.
"Maybe people went missing in Cardiff more often than in any other city."
The Asian woman led the man down some stone stairs.
"But nobody ever thought much of it."
"You always make the best coffee," said the Asian woman. The man inclined his head and smiled.
"And that's just how the members of 3 liked it."
For the next hour Blaine read his husband's comic. After he was done he got up and went to his husband's office or as Kurt called it his art room. Blaine sat down in the middle of the room and looked at the stacks of painting to his right. The first one portrayed a man Kurt called the Doctor. He wore a long trench coat, a brown suit and red converse. In his hand was what Kurt called a sonic screwdriver. Behind him was the universe. Biting his lip Blaine carefully moved the painting to the side. The next one showed a woman Kurt called Suzie. On her right hand was a huge metal glove that seem to glow black.
"I've been drawing her since I was in elementary school."
Blaine didn't turn around. Kurt sighed and moved to sit next to Blaine.
"Where's Carwyn?"
"He refused to leave Rachel's place so I left him there. She promised to have him back before his bedtime."
Kurt pulled Blaine closer to him.
"Suzie?"
"Suzie Costello," Kurt said, "brilliant but murderous."
"Does it really make you feel better?"
Kurt stood up and moved aside several portraits until he reached a painting of Ianto. He was done in black and white but his eyes shone blue. Behind him was a million hexagons.
"When was the last time I had a really bad nightmare?"
Blaine frowns and thinks, "It…" he smiles when the answer comes to him, "Almost a year."
Kurt nodded, "Sometimes I still dream about them," he said, "but the dreams don't make me want to throw myself out of a window."
"That's good."
"I think…" Kurt sat back down next to his husband, "I think I'm finally getting over it."
()()()()()
The comic had landed on Jack's desk a month before it hit the stores. Seconds after receiving it UNIT had called to demand an explanation. Jack had made something up and hung up. He then stared at Ianto-and it WAS Ianto staring back at him from that cover page. Kurt was in trouble. Shoving the comic into his pocket Jack started calling in favors from both friends and enemies. He had to work fast. If he didn't UNIT or another Torchwood branch would try to get to Kurt. Jack couldn't allow that to happen.
Five hours later UNIT was pissed and the rest of Torchwood was suspicious but Jack didn't care. It had been decided that he would 'monitor' Kurt to make sure that no secrets would be divulged. Jack had read the comic. When he was done he swallowed a sob. Yes it had to do with aliens. Yes it was very similar to Torchwood but Kurt mentioned no real cases and none of the aliens he had encountered as Ianto.
Laughing he put the comic book away in his personal safe.
"Oh Ianto," Jack whispered, "my Ianto…still as brilliant as ever.
It had been years since Jack had last seen Kurt but that didn't mean Jack didn't think about him at least once a day. That didn't mean that Jack didn't occasionally hack into Kurt's computer to see what was going on with him. It was just better for Jack to remain in Cardiff and Kurt in New York.
Jack loved Ianto. Jack was also fond of Kurt. However, Kurt loved Blaine and was living the life he deserved. The least Jack could do was stay away. Smiling Jack placed the comic in his personal safe along with the picture of Ianto.
"I love you, Ianto."
()()()()()
A year after Kurt released his comic Blaine stumbled upon another comic his husband drew. "3" was action packed, witty and occasionally dark. The book in Blaine's hand was gruesome and full of poison. On the cover page was a large "T". Swallowing he continued to skim through the comic. There was blood and death in nearly every page. After watching a man coughing up rose petals Blaine dropped the comic on Kurt's desk.
"I'm not going to publish that one."
Kurt came up behind him a smile on his lips.
"Oh?"
"It's too real," Blaine tried not to think about that, "I would get in trouble," Kurt took his husband's face into his hands, "I don't want you or Carwyn to get in trouble."
"Then why-"
"If I draw it, I don't dream it."
Kurt hadn't had any nightmares since the other comic was released. Not even in October and not in May.
"I don't even look at it," Kurt touched the comic but didn't pick it up, "I just draw and then go."
Nodding Blaine gave his husband a kiss.
"It's almost two," Kurt said, "you promised Carwyn to pick him up today."
"Alright," Blaine gave him a kiss, "have you cooked dinner yet?"
Kurt shook his head.
"How about we eat out tonight?"
"Depends," Kurt grinned, "where do you want to go?"
"That Chinese place?"
Laughing Kurt rolled his eyes, "Of course."
Blaine knocked his shoulder into Kurt's, "I know you love their hot and sour soup."
"It's good." Kurt patted Blaine's ass, "now go on pick up your son."
"I'll be back in thirty."
After Blaine's car roared away Kurt turned his attention to the comic lying in front of him. Closing his eyes he shoved it into a desk drawer. Letting out a breath Kurt opened his eyes and sat down at his desk. Biting his lip he unlocked another drawer. Inside was a single sketch; one Kurt had drawn when Blaine and Carwyn were both out of the house. One he wouldn't dare show Blaine. Despite knowing that he's alone in the house Kurt looked around the room before staring down at the drawing.
Jack stared back. Trembling Kurt traced the older man's face with his finger. He had been telling the truth when he told Blaine that he'd not had any nightmares this past year.
I love you
But Kurt had other dreams.
I love you
Blaine didn't remember what happened in the days they went missing so long ago in Cardiff. Kurt lied when he said he didn't either.
I love you
A year ago Kurt started getting flashes of memories. Jack was in all of them.
I love you.
There was one memory that stuck with Kurt.
I love you
Jack was kneeling in front of him crying. Kurt was wearing the coat.
Love the coat
And then Jack had said it.
I love you
Kurt didn't want to believe it at first but after a while he started to remember more and more. True he didn't remember anything of importance. He didn't know if he had been taking to Torchwood. He didn't know who else was there but he remembered Jack's touches and kisses. He remembered feeling loved by Jack-if only for a second.
Chuckling Kurt takes the drawing and kisses it.
"I loved you Jack," he whispered. Kurt put the drawing away and looked out the window. For the first time in his life the memories inside Kurt felt at peace.
A/N-So this is the 3rd time I've re-written this epilogue. Not 100% happy with it but I like it still. And so ends this story. Finally. This story came to me last year. The original plot was going to be for Kurt to regain his memories as soon as Ianto died. Except, the memories would be at the forefront so Kurt would become Ianto. Except…that meant that Kurt would regain his memories when he was 10 and that would be traumatizing. Even if he regained his memories when he was 16 it would have still be bad. So…I changed it. It makes more sense this way I think anyways. Tell me what you think.