fml
tick, tick, tick
the clock on the wall is reminding me that I have, once again, just wasted the day away.
Trying to be productive, but, in all reality, not.
It is four o'clock in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas.
Another day, another dollar closer to being completely broke.
I have no car, rather, I own a broken down, good for nothing car that is sitting in the driveway, waiting for someone with more money and motivation than I to take it home.
I just need the cash so I can pay my ever recurring bills.
I have no job. Trying to find one online, but damn, this economy sucks.
Technically, I have a job, it just hasn't started yet. jobs in Media sucks, too.
Just applied for deferment on my two student loans, I cant pay the monthly anymore.
May need to cancel my cell phone, but I really don't want to.
It is the only link to the outside world that I have.
and that is depressing.
Another day is passing, and all I can wonder about is whether or not there will be another broken window.
will someone, for the twelfth time, wander into my yard and think about breaking into my house?
My nerves are in shambles, I don't/wont sleep alone in this house anymore.
I haven't slept well in over a week, and it is beginning to show in my damaged health.
I have found that other people's couches work just fine for my aching head, and will have to until this problem is taken care of.
i feel bad for my boyfriend. I don't know how much more of me, and this horrible run of luck I am having, he can handle.
he is wonderful, and sweet, and patient, and understanding.
i am becoming dull, and stressed, and snappy, and depressed.
i cant seem to figure out why he is still here, he should have left by now.
it figures into my luck, he is the next thing to go.
i hope I don't push him away. I really do like him.
but, fuck, I am so scared.
and, fuck, i don't feel worth any kindness and love right now.
i cant seem to get out of this.
this hole keeps getting deeper and darker
and i don't know how much more i can take.
the clock on the wall is reminding me that I have, once again, just wasted the day away.
Trying to be productive, but, in all reality, not.
It is four o'clock in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas.
Another day, another dollar closer to being completely broke.
I have no car, rather, I own a broken down, good for nothing car that is sitting in the driveway, waiting for someone with more money and motivation than I to take it home.
I just need the cash so I can pay my ever recurring bills.
I have no job. Trying to find one online, but damn, this economy sucks.
Technically, I have a job, it just hasn't started yet. jobs in Media sucks, too.
Just applied for deferment on my two student loans, I cant pay the monthly anymore.
May need to cancel my cell phone, but I really don't want to.
It is the only link to the outside world that I have.
and that is depressing.
Another day is passing, and all I can wonder about is whether or not there will be another broken window.
will someone, for the twelfth time, wander into my yard and think about breaking into my house?
My nerves are in shambles, I don't/wont sleep alone in this house anymore.
I haven't slept well in over a week, and it is beginning to show in my damaged health.
I have found that other people's couches work just fine for my aching head, and will have to until this problem is taken care of.
i feel bad for my boyfriend. I don't know how much more of me, and this horrible run of luck I am having, he can handle.
he is wonderful, and sweet, and patient, and understanding.
i am becoming dull, and stressed, and snappy, and depressed.
i cant seem to figure out why he is still here, he should have left by now.
it figures into my luck, he is the next thing to go.
i hope I don't push him away. I really do like him.
but, fuck, I am so scared.
and, fuck, i don't feel worth any kindness and love right now.
i cant seem to get out of this.
this hole keeps getting deeper and darker
and i don't know how much more i can take.