Wishing more had changed...
So reading back through this is odd. I wish I could have told that girl of five years ago that it would only get harder... that far more terrifying prospects lay just around the corner and that leaving home was not the haven she was wanting. That the future held more monsters waiting, and that getting older and wiser doesn't make it easier to stop.
I have a document, that I would like to amalgamate with this one. To remember, and to know for sure. I don't know how to trust myself with doing this. I want to know, to explore, to understand why I feel the way I do.
But I am also terrified of the consequences. I know myself, i know this disease well. I am sneaky, even to myself. So lets try, and see how it goes... *deep breath*
I think i'm going try to use this more, as much for my own venting as anything else.. as I don't think the people who commented here around 6 years ago are still around !
I have a document, that I would like to amalgamate with this one. To remember, and to know for sure. I don't know how to trust myself with doing this. I want to know, to explore, to understand why I feel the way I do.
But I am also terrified of the consequences. I know myself, i know this disease well. I am sneaky, even to myself. So lets try, and see how it goes... *deep breath*
I think i'm going try to use this more, as much for my own venting as anything else.. as I don't think the people who commented here around 6 years ago are still around !