Dancing

[dancingguy]

In a couple of places, there have been threads / comments about dacning, getting dance partners, interactions between older males and "cute young things", etc. I'm going to comment here, and post likes elsewhere, so that I can get all my thoughts on this in one place.

1: Compliments.
A couple of people (purchasemonkey and corpsefairy come immediately to mind) have

Comments

[kid_lit_fan]

I would have a strong desire to beat the living shit out of any person who shouted "take it off" at her, esp. so long as she is under 18.

Except that the women (and girls) were doing a striptease. A 1950's-style striptease down to underwear that covers more than most modern women wear on a warm summer day, but it was a striptease (why the girls were involved is between them and their parents.)

Maybe "jailbait" was meant to be protective, I heard it as "Awww, darn, I'm not allowed to touch!" I'll never know, I'm not sure who shouted it. But it wasn't a simple "Jailbait." It was a catcall, "Jaaaaaai-ullll-baaaaaait!!!" Think of Nelson saying "Ha-haaa" on the Simpsons.

But, for me, it tied in with a whole seeming belief that women who are provocatively (or even just attractively) dressed are on mating display, and expected to follow through. I may be reading a lot into it, especially since I was 35 at the time, but I heard a concerned "Not 'why are there a couple of underaged girls up there?" but "No FAIR, they're not legal!".

BTW, all of the PEERless Beauties are now of age.

>I'm much more willing to believe "> 40" has a hard time finding dancing partners than I'm willing to believe "> 25". I'm sorry it's
true.

I'm 42. Trust me, it started more than two years ago. Now, I'm not addicted to dancing, I just like it. But even when I do the asking, I don't dance as much as I like. And it was not like that when I was 25 (or younger). I would walk into Fezziwig's and several men would ask me to dance. (and for several of those years, I didn't work there and very few people knew me.) Now, if I walk into Fezziwig's, I might get asked to dance wby a gentleman who's known me for a long time. I assume that some men figure that I work Dickens and PEERS, I can dance when I want to, but I am certain that some of them just don't see me. And, by the time I was 26 , it had already started at Gaskells.

And my older (than 25) female friends who would dance every dance, could they find partners, I feel very sad for.

Actually, male attention plummets in general after 25. Trust me, I don't WANT to have strangers riding BART asking me for my phone number (or for something more intimate), but I still noticed when it started trickling away, and it was definitely around the time I turned 26. I didn't gain a bunch of weight, suddenly turn gray, dress more conservatively or a million other "signals" that I wasn't interested in stranger-male attention. But it stopped. Considering that I wore a fake wedding band throughout my early twenties and STILL had strange men hitting on me. Maybe women that young are perceived as naive enough to fall for ludicrous lines, but I would DEFINITELY put the age at 25.

Not sure why a lot of men (not saying you) can't stomach the thought of dancing with an ancient, fat twenty-six year old who weighs 130*, but it feels that way.

*I find it interesting that you chose this weight as one too large to lead if the woman isn't a strong follow. Most women I know weigh quite a bit more, and most of them are healthy and have what anyone but the modeling industry would call a "nice figure" (I count myself as overweight, but I AM a strong follow, or used to be.) Most teenage girls I know, though, are probably somewhere under this. Some is due to boundless teen energy and elevated metabolism. Some is due to the fact that their bodies haven't put on all the fat that Nature thinks they'll need to bear children someday, but I can think of several cases where they think their 120 lb bodies are "fat." and starve them down to 110 or less.

I'm sure you didn't intend it, but citing 130 lbs as a largish female weight and 100 as normal (my daughter weighs 95 at age 11) can't help that perception. I'm not blaming YOU directly, but a society that's gotten it into your head that 100 lbs is a weight that grown women should be.

That's a low-end-healthy weight for a woman ranging from 4'10" to 5'3. Just a thought.

[dancingguy]

Except that the women (and girls) were doing a striptease. A 1950's-style striptease down to underwear that covers more than most modern women wear on a warm summer day, but it was a striptease (why the girls were involved is between them and their parents.)

Don't care. Would have been pissed at the PEERS organizers if I'd been there. Don't sell sex when you're under 18.

Not sure why a lot of men (not saying you) can't stomach the thought of dancing with an ancient, fat twenty-six year old who weighs 130*, but it feels that way.

You're describing my most recent ex-girlfriend (rather, describing what she was like when we met).

Note, you've read me wrong. That wasn't "130 is so big", that's "even someone so light as 130 gets heavy pretty quickly, when they don't help."

Note, you've read me wrong.

[kid_lit_fan]

Glad I misunderstood!