Im sorry, Justin, i lvoe you and i wish only pure happiness and sunshine and rainbows to follow you
chix came over today. we watched half Baked, wut wu raise the roof. right when i was done rolling a joint, and right whne she started smoking it, the poeple in half baked started smoking, gangsta timing. after i took anap, and when i woke up it turne dout ym dad was over, it turns out were re doing all the flooring in the hsoue not incuding the bedrooms). my cousin or second cousin, justin, his grandma died today. im nto good with death. so i had to call him up and pay my respects and it was hard becasue he started to cry and then i did and i felt liek such an ass. what am i gonna say to possibly really make him feel better, nothing. then my sister freake dout fithigng with ym mom for 2 and a half hours b/c she wanted to go out n noone would drive her and that we shoudl and all this crazy stuff. i called outta work and am doing my astonomy research paper. after her crazy ass ranting and raving you woudlnt fucking belive, (i told her i was gonna put her through a fucking wallll and would ahve if she wouldnt have stopped)she said sorry. it was weird. either she really relized that she was wrong or something up, it scares me. she was goign on ebfore how depressed she is on the phone wiht soeone cuz she coudldnt go out and tha shes bene depressed for years and all thsi bullshit. as much of a crazy ass selfish bitch she is, i hope she doesnt do anythign dumb. i coudlnt take it. i hate death and all that bad stuff. i dont do good with it at all. why cant everythign just be good. why cant i just make everyone happy. what kind of a person am i, that i cant just have magical powers or some shit, i dont know. its soo damn infuriating, not being able to help. i was watching a little princess before and she gave her food to this poor familon the streets whne she was poor and hungry herself. i try to do stuff liek that by doing walks for cancer and stuff but its not enough. i need to do more. i need to make poeple happy and bring enjoyment and fufillment to their lives. im going to try and be a new marissa. im goign through all my clothes one day this week (or way soon) and giving them to salvation army or charity or something.