*hugs* I wish I could offer something more substantial. I will say I agree with your co-worker as far as protecting yourself at work. I would write up a clear summary of everything's that's transpired so far and document every communication, confirm everything she says by e-mail so there's a record of it (and it's not just she says/she says) and while I honestly don't know how unions work if reporting all of this to them is what your co-worker recommends I'd do that as well (maybe that helps if they're needed in the future to help defend you).
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