Nightmares Without You
I think I need to wake up,
But I can’t escape this dream,
Where I’m holding you so tightly,
As you comfort me while I scream.
I toss and turn on this pillow,
Between awake and asleep.
And no matter how many prayers I say,
My soul, the Lord does not keep.
I wake up in a cold sweat,
And reach out to feel the air.
And a sob rises up in my chest,
At the realization that you aren’t there.
“This is all my own doing,”
I repeat to myself again.
I pushed him away from me,
So I could stand alone in the end.
There is darkness in my veins I never could explain,
And the sad part is that you embraced it.
The thing inside that sometimes came out,
No matter how dark or dangerous I was you dealt with my shit.
And I slowly roll over and lay back down,
Because this was my choice.
To walk away from you forever,
And to never again hear your voice.
My sobs carry me to sleep finally,
And I imagine you holding and rocking me in your arms,
But right before you say, “I love you.”
I give in to the nightmares’ charms.
But I can’t escape this dream,
Where I’m holding you so tightly,
As you comfort me while I scream.
I toss and turn on this pillow,
Between awake and asleep.
And no matter how many prayers I say,
My soul, the Lord does not keep.
I wake up in a cold sweat,
And reach out to feel the air.
And a sob rises up in my chest,
At the realization that you aren’t there.
“This is all my own doing,”
I repeat to myself again.
I pushed him away from me,
So I could stand alone in the end.
There is darkness in my veins I never could explain,
And the sad part is that you embraced it.
The thing inside that sometimes came out,
No matter how dark or dangerous I was you dealt with my shit.
And I slowly roll over and lay back down,
Because this was my choice.
To walk away from you forever,
And to never again hear your voice.
My sobs carry me to sleep finally,
And I imagine you holding and rocking me in your arms,
But right before you say, “I love you.”
I give in to the nightmares’ charms.