by the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea // you and me, you and me, oh how happy we'll be
It's really weird lately.
I don't know what to expect from day to day and one second I could be smiling and laughing and the next I'd be quiet and shy.
Call it what you want, PMS, mood swings, depressions, but those mean next to nothing.
I think all this is weighing heavily on me and I don't know if I can carry the weight. I mean I don't think I'll fall too badly, or even fall, maybe stumble, but I need to loosen this load upon my shoulders and just feel free. Maybe that's it.
Trapped. Stuck. Wanting something and I don't know what I want until it's in front of me.
This is just a feeling I have. I can't really say specifically what's the matter or exactly what situations caused me to think this. It's been a general, overall feeling. I'm away from everything. The parents are at the hotel, the house and my friends are in the Valley, and I'm sitting in this empty room at UH...just me and my fingers typing on this lone keyboard. Echoing throughout the empty building in the middle of nowhere.
Isolation, see?
I think all these college acceptances and waiting lists and rejections around me threw me in a loop. My friends, my wonderful awesome friends...it broke me to hear that they didn't get accepted. I wanted to cheer them up so badly, just to make them smile, just to comfort them....and suddenly, I didn't know how. How can I not know how to comfort my friends? I just want them to know I love them and that things will turn out good in the end because they're good people.
And I hate seeing friends in the hallways and being unable to say hi to them because of something that happened in the past. I just want to let it all go. Why can't they? Why can't everyone get past the fact that it was all in the past and [not start anew but] to do something. Do something.
The house has turned out great. See, our rental was a constant in life, you knew what to expect when you got home. Yes, change is good, but too much change can throw someone in a tizzy. With this move, I know and have been reassured it will be stable, but workers trapsize through the house fixing things, all the furniture is not completely here (hence our trip to Houston to get some)...it's like a jizsaw puzzle where you're so close to completing it but there are still holes to fill before you're pleased with the outcome. And me being anal when it comes to order around the house, is tizzied up with not knowing where everything is. Not to mention I miss my mom's cooking. We've been eating out way too much. Darn, what am I going to do when I go to college? Oh boy.
Life's like a chesseburger without cheese.
I don't know what to expect from day to day and one second I could be smiling and laughing and the next I'd be quiet and shy.
Call it what you want, PMS, mood swings, depressions, but those mean next to nothing.
I think all this is weighing heavily on me and I don't know if I can carry the weight. I mean I don't think I'll fall too badly, or even fall, maybe stumble, but I need to loosen this load upon my shoulders and just feel free. Maybe that's it.
Trapped. Stuck. Wanting something and I don't know what I want until it's in front of me.
This is just a feeling I have. I can't really say specifically what's the matter or exactly what situations caused me to think this. It's been a general, overall feeling. I'm away from everything. The parents are at the hotel, the house and my friends are in the Valley, and I'm sitting in this empty room at UH...just me and my fingers typing on this lone keyboard. Echoing throughout the empty building in the middle of nowhere.
Isolation, see?
I think all these college acceptances and waiting lists and rejections around me threw me in a loop. My friends, my wonderful awesome friends...it broke me to hear that they didn't get accepted. I wanted to cheer them up so badly, just to make them smile, just to comfort them....and suddenly, I didn't know how. How can I not know how to comfort my friends? I just want them to know I love them and that things will turn out good in the end because they're good people.
And I hate seeing friends in the hallways and being unable to say hi to them because of something that happened in the past. I just want to let it all go. Why can't they? Why can't everyone get past the fact that it was all in the past and [not start anew but] to do something. Do something.
The house has turned out great. See, our rental was a constant in life, you knew what to expect when you got home. Yes, change is good, but too much change can throw someone in a tizzy. With this move, I know and have been reassured it will be stable, but workers trapsize through the house fixing things, all the furniture is not completely here (hence our trip to Houston to get some)...it's like a jizsaw puzzle where you're so close to completing it but there are still holes to fill before you're pleased with the outcome. And me being anal when it comes to order around the house, is tizzied up with not knowing where everything is. Not to mention I miss my mom's cooking. We've been eating out way too much. Darn, what am I going to do when I go to college? Oh boy.
Life's like a chesseburger without cheese.