whats going on?
Things where going so well, School’s ok-much better than my last anyway. The academic side I horrible, I hate it, I keep finding other things to do other than my home work-its not good, im going t be in so much trouble when I go back to school. Ballets going ok, its just that im not getting every thing out of it I know I can. The best people are skinny, look lush in a leotard and have that natural beauty. There the ones that get picked for every thing, rightly so, but why cant I be one of them? I know I’m not fat for a normal person, but the thing is I ant a “normal” person, every thing I look at is about weight, but I cant lose weight because the more I train the more my muscles develop which make them weigh more. I want to lose the fat. I want to have ana back, but I need the energy to dance, why cant I have both? other people do so why cant I?
I’m at home for half term, have been since Saturday. When I was at school I was doing ok with not eating much and when I couldn’t get away with it I would make my self sick which was ok until my mate found out. I thought he was going to be ok with it coz he use to do it, but he wernt. He understands I want to lose weight (fat), he does too but for some reason he cant stop eating, I know it has nothing to do with me, what he eats, but it does coz I need him to do this with me, I cant do it on my own. He told me when he goes home for half term he ant going to eat any thing coz he doesn’t need the energy, we’ll se when we go back to school. As for me this half term was horrible!! I hate eating but I do it any way, today I started crying in the middle of eating coz I cant control what I eat. I have to get ana, you don’t under stand how mad this is making me.
Sorry about all that it probably wont make sense to anyone trying to read it, I just needed to say it how it comes.
I’m at home for half term, have been since Saturday. When I was at school I was doing ok with not eating much and when I couldn’t get away with it I would make my self sick which was ok until my mate found out. I thought he was going to be ok with it coz he use to do it, but he wernt. He understands I want to lose weight (fat), he does too but for some reason he cant stop eating, I know it has nothing to do with me, what he eats, but it does coz I need him to do this with me, I cant do it on my own. He told me when he goes home for half term he ant going to eat any thing coz he doesn’t need the energy, we’ll se when we go back to school. As for me this half term was horrible!! I hate eating but I do it any way, today I started crying in the middle of eating coz I cant control what I eat. I have to get ana, you don’t under stand how mad this is making me.
Sorry about all that it probably wont make sense to anyone trying to read it, I just needed to say it how it comes.