Can you please give me something?[Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.]
TIME TO GO BACK TO MY PSYCHIATRIST. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE COCKTAIL.
I dont know what exactly but there is something wrong. I'm using my anti-anxiety meds more regularly than I ever have. The cocktail is not right. I need to go back to work. My mom needs me to. I can't. I do not trust myself around children. I don't trust myself around anything more than house work. Sustained illness triggered my PTSD and the storm locked it in the on position I think. Hypervigilance, right Teen Wolf fandom?
Today I found out the test I took to qualify me to teach middle grades english was the wrong one. There are 2 - one that is state specific and one called the PRAXIS both of which function out of the same website ETS.ORG. The sign up webpages look exactly the same. The tests are given at the same center. The cost is the same. They are proctored by the same company and use the same log-in. Both offer middle grades language arts qualification exams. The difference is that PRAXIS covers qualification for 30 but is Georgia not one of them. I took the wrong one - guess how that happened (I'll give you a hint - three days of figuring and refiguring out how the website works and my payments not going through twice are part of it)
Bottom line: I took a test that is absolutely. Freaking. Useless. I cant take the actual GACE for my subjects until MARCH. I dont know exactly how I'm supposed to apply for Middle School English jobs when I dont have the qualifications. Its a mystery.
It's a last push that I can't actually handle when combined with my anxiety. I do not trust myself with the care and supervision of students. That's the point of why I took substituting. I needed to be able to have the freedom to get my shit together when things were unbalanced so that's what I'm going to do.
Sally fucking forth I guess.
This entry was originally posted at http://dancinbutterfly.dreamwidth.org/832694.html. Please comment wherever you wish.
I dont know what exactly but there is something wrong. I'm using my anti-anxiety meds more regularly than I ever have. The cocktail is not right. I need to go back to work. My mom needs me to. I can't. I do not trust myself around children. I don't trust myself around anything more than house work. Sustained illness triggered my PTSD and the storm locked it in the on position I think. Hypervigilance, right Teen Wolf fandom?
Today I found out the test I took to qualify me to teach middle grades english was the wrong one. There are 2 - one that is state specific and one called the PRAXIS both of which function out of the same website ETS.ORG. The sign up webpages look exactly the same. The tests are given at the same center. The cost is the same. They are proctored by the same company and use the same log-in. Both offer middle grades language arts qualification exams. The difference is that PRAXIS covers qualification for 30 but is Georgia not one of them. I took the wrong one - guess how that happened (I'll give you a hint - three days of figuring and refiguring out how the website works and my payments not going through twice are part of it)
Bottom line: I took a test that is absolutely. Freaking. Useless. I cant take the actual GACE for my subjects until MARCH. I dont know exactly how I'm supposed to apply for Middle School English jobs when I dont have the qualifications. Its a mystery.
It's a last push that I can't actually handle when combined with my anxiety. I do not trust myself with the care and supervision of students. That's the point of why I took substituting. I needed to be able to have the freedom to get my shit together when things were unbalanced so that's what I'm going to do.
Sally fucking forth I guess.
This entry was originally posted at http://dancinbutterfly.dreamwidth.org/832694.html. Please comment wherever you wish.