You take the high road and I'll take the low road(its way more fun down here)
This morning I got a facebook message from the most odious person I went to high school with. It was basically spam except for the fact that he knowingly sent it to me. As he was a total dicksnot, I decided "Screw the high road, I'm going to have fun." Before you, is the conversation with the names removed because I do believing in privacy but there's no innocence here yall.
Hey, Rachael! I hope you're having a great weekend! **** and I are on our way back from Nashville from a Rodan and Fields conference. We had a blast and we are gearing up for an awesome 2014! They just announced that our next convention will be in ******* this September! There is going to be another business presentation at the W Hotel in downtown ******* this Friday night. Are you free on Friday night? We would love for you to go and hear about it! Let me know and I'll put you on the guest list! :)
The exclamation points. *pinches the bridge of her nose* I just- *exhales* Even if I did like him, the exclamation point abuse would require punishment. What did the exclamation point ever do to you?
Hey there ***,
So, I'm not exactly sure how we ended up facebook friends except for the fact that I pay so little attention to facebook 99.99% of the time(this is my bi-monthly check for family activity)that I used to click accept without paying attention but sweetheart, you do remember that we don't like each other, right? Every class we had together in high school was an exercise in angry glares and quiet loathing. While I'm super happy to be able to count you as a casual acquaintance rather than The Only Person Who Had A Problem With Me In High School and Outright Hated Me Starting in Coach McAuley's 9th Grade English Class and Wasn't Afraid To Tell Me To My Face, I would not consider that grounds for me to care enough about you or your affairs to sit through a conference hocking skin care(and it is skincare right? I had to google Rodan and Holland as I have never heard of them before but go you and your face cream). Especially not when I could be doing something truly valuable to society - like watching videos of cats on youtube or playing angry birds.
On a whatever date your shindig is on I will either be out with friends or perhaps head to bed early as I have a job that requires me to work during the day on Fridays. By Friday all the give-a-fuck-about-things-that-don't-matter, like Rodan and Holland skin care for example, has been sucked from my very soul. I don't see that changing by September. So it is with regret I must decline your generous offer of a spot on what I am sure will be a jam-packed guest list.
I would also like to encourage you not to send me your little business machinations in the future as I wont care then either. Feel free to not contact me again until a class reunion.
That said I wish you luck in your endeavors and a happy new year.
The amount of unholy glee writing that gave me - yall there arent words. There are. No. Words. Most of the time, I do take the high road. I take abuse from my mom daily and my sister whenever she's in town. I always take it at work with students and I strive to be the kind of person who looks cashiers and waitstaff in the eye and thanks them every single time because those people matter and last. Not this time. The low road was just too tempting; I ran down it like Usain fucking Bolt and it was glorious.
In other news - I havent had more than a days work in 2 weeks because I have strep throat. I should be noncontagious by the weekend though. Yay. And if you haven't asked me a question yet for the February Talk Meme PLEASE PLEASE DO SO! There are 21 sad empty spots left! You can fill them! Come on! Fandom questions! TMI questions! Political questions(which could be TMI...)! Unpopular opinion questions! Fic what I wrote questions! Poor life choices questions! Other questions you are better at coming up with than me! You dont even have to pick a day if you dont want. Just ask.
Hey, Rachael! I hope you're having a great weekend! **** and I are on our way back from Nashville from a Rodan and Fields conference. We had a blast and we are gearing up for an awesome 2014! They just announced that our next convention will be in ******* this September! There is going to be another business presentation at the W Hotel in downtown ******* this Friday night. Are you free on Friday night? We would love for you to go and hear about it! Let me know and I'll put you on the guest list! :)
The exclamation points. *pinches the bridge of her nose* I just- *exhales* Even if I did like him, the exclamation point abuse would require punishment. What did the exclamation point ever do to you?
Hey there ***,
So, I'm not exactly sure how we ended up facebook friends except for the fact that I pay so little attention to facebook 99.99% of the time(this is my bi-monthly check for family activity)that I used to click accept without paying attention but sweetheart, you do remember that we don't like each other, right? Every class we had together in high school was an exercise in angry glares and quiet loathing. While I'm super happy to be able to count you as a casual acquaintance rather than The Only Person Who Had A Problem With Me In High School and Outright Hated Me Starting in Coach McAuley's 9th Grade English Class and Wasn't Afraid To Tell Me To My Face, I would not consider that grounds for me to care enough about you or your affairs to sit through a conference hocking skin care(and it is skincare right? I had to google Rodan and Holland as I have never heard of them before but go you and your face cream). Especially not when I could be doing something truly valuable to society - like watching videos of cats on youtube or playing angry birds.
On a whatever date your shindig is on I will either be out with friends or perhaps head to bed early as I have a job that requires me to work during the day on Fridays. By Friday all the give-a-fuck-about-things-that-don't-matter, like Rodan and Holland skin care for example, has been sucked from my very soul. I don't see that changing by September. So it is with regret I must decline your generous offer of a spot on what I am sure will be a jam-packed guest list.
I would also like to encourage you not to send me your little business machinations in the future as I wont care then either. Feel free to not contact me again until a class reunion.
That said I wish you luck in your endeavors and a happy new year.
The amount of unholy glee writing that gave me - yall there arent words. There are. No. Words. Most of the time, I do take the high road. I take abuse from my mom daily and my sister whenever she's in town. I always take it at work with students and I strive to be the kind of person who looks cashiers and waitstaff in the eye and thanks them every single time because those people matter and last. Not this time. The low road was just too tempting; I ran down it like Usain fucking Bolt and it was glorious.
In other news - I havent had more than a days work in 2 weeks because I have strep throat. I should be noncontagious by the weekend though. Yay. And if you haven't asked me a question yet for the February Talk Meme PLEASE PLEASE DO SO! There are 21 sad empty spots left! You can fill them! Come on! Fandom questions! TMI questions! Political questions(which could be TMI...)! Unpopular opinion questions! Fic what I wrote questions! Poor life choices questions! Other questions you are better at coming up with than me! You dont even have to pick a day if you dont want. Just ask.