i hate it ... but i love it
just a simple messages "hi love, i miss you" and "adios hottie" and "yah, a hooker tried to pick me up when i was buying cigerettes" really gets my heart racing. i don't know what this is. and i'm not giving into it either. at least, not yet.
i dont know how it would work. i'm always busy with cheering. and he doesn't like sports. of any kind. so he wouldn't ever come i bet to see me. though, he did come once last year. but would he even care? does he care? i mean, he does remember the first time we met, even though i don't. i remember the first time i recall meeting him, he told jen he thought i was hot and so i invited him for a cigerette break. *sigh* he said he'd call me this week, we'll see if it happens. i'm not going to stress...i can't stress...i won't let myself. i have to be stronger than this for at least another 5 weeks. and then another like 3 years.
and myspace is gay....heres my entry for there
This summer has taught me alot about myself.
I learned that I love sunrises and sunsets more than I realized. I love looking at the sunrise whenever I go into work. And then, on my way home from the Maine Stay I love looking the moon. I seriously look at it every night on my drive home. I rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 on a romantic factor. So far, every moon with the except of the big red one, I have figured out that I think the crescent moon is the most beautiful and romantic. It just hides out until noticed, like an island of hope in a sea of sorrow. (I think I stole that from a Disney movie but I love it).
I can make friends more easily than I thought if I just let go and not worry. I have created one of the best friendships I could ever ask for with a girl from Hannaford. Besides Amy, she's the first co-worker turned friend that I have. And I feel bad, I never hang out with Amy anymore. Not because I don't want to, partly. She is way more wild than I am used to, but still I never have much time. Whether I am at school or at home.
I have never been more happy in my life with being single. Yah, I miss the cuddeling and the morning kissees on the forehead, but it's really nice not to depend on someone else for my happiness. Sure, there's a guy that sends me messages online, rare but it happens, and my heart seriously flies. I don't understand why I ran and hid behind my cheering at the time. Now I kind of wish I hadn't, but at the same time I am really proud of my independance and freedom. I don't need someone distracting me and steering me off of course.
My eyes have begun to twitch from lack of sleep and stress. I've pretty much run the office the last two days and will again tomorrow and monday. And let me tell you, I have had some doozies thrown at me. Counterfeit bills, broken printers, outraged customers, people changing schedules, offline ebt, and who knows what else. It's been a crazy weekend without Karen and Deb. In some ways, I feel like I'm audtioning for when it's my turn to be Assistant, or the actual Office Manager. I have learned so much this year it's pretty crazy. I'm ready....but at the same time I'm not. I really don't want to be a lifer there, and I have a feeling I won't be there for anymore than four-six years.
I have an internship with the Maine Stay for next year. Which will be awesome. It'll let me see if I really wanna do this kind of job. I also want to try and get a job as a waitress a couple of nights a week. Hopefully I will waitress this school year and get some extra money so I can do the following:
**Get a new tattoo, or two
**Save up for a motorcycle
**Study Abroad
**Visit Polly in Bulgeria
I love how productive I have been these past few weeks. I wish I had been this way all summer, because then more stuff would have been done. I still have to make the "S" "J" "C" letters, Paint my white board, Finish my WHS Scrapbook, Continue/Finish my memory quilt, Make two quilts to raffle off at school. Damn. Pretty much the only thing that is remotly done is the Scrapbook. Yay.
With that, I'm going to be old and go to bed. The time will be 7:14 pm at the beep. *BEEP*
i dont know how it would work. i'm always busy with cheering. and he doesn't like sports. of any kind. so he wouldn't ever come i bet to see me. though, he did come once last year. but would he even care? does he care? i mean, he does remember the first time we met, even though i don't. i remember the first time i recall meeting him, he told jen he thought i was hot and so i invited him for a cigerette break. *sigh* he said he'd call me this week, we'll see if it happens. i'm not going to stress...i can't stress...i won't let myself. i have to be stronger than this for at least another 5 weeks. and then another like 3 years.
and myspace is gay....heres my entry for there
This summer has taught me alot about myself.
I learned that I love sunrises and sunsets more than I realized. I love looking at the sunrise whenever I go into work. And then, on my way home from the Maine Stay I love looking the moon. I seriously look at it every night on my drive home. I rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 on a romantic factor. So far, every moon with the except of the big red one, I have figured out that I think the crescent moon is the most beautiful and romantic. It just hides out until noticed, like an island of hope in a sea of sorrow. (I think I stole that from a Disney movie but I love it).
I can make friends more easily than I thought if I just let go and not worry. I have created one of the best friendships I could ever ask for with a girl from Hannaford. Besides Amy, she's the first co-worker turned friend that I have. And I feel bad, I never hang out with Amy anymore. Not because I don't want to, partly. She is way more wild than I am used to, but still I never have much time. Whether I am at school or at home.
I have never been more happy in my life with being single. Yah, I miss the cuddeling and the morning kissees on the forehead, but it's really nice not to depend on someone else for my happiness. Sure, there's a guy that sends me messages online, rare but it happens, and my heart seriously flies. I don't understand why I ran and hid behind my cheering at the time. Now I kind of wish I hadn't, but at the same time I am really proud of my independance and freedom. I don't need someone distracting me and steering me off of course.
My eyes have begun to twitch from lack of sleep and stress. I've pretty much run the office the last two days and will again tomorrow and monday. And let me tell you, I have had some doozies thrown at me. Counterfeit bills, broken printers, outraged customers, people changing schedules, offline ebt, and who knows what else. It's been a crazy weekend without Karen and Deb. In some ways, I feel like I'm audtioning for when it's my turn to be Assistant, or the actual Office Manager. I have learned so much this year it's pretty crazy. I'm ready....but at the same time I'm not. I really don't want to be a lifer there, and I have a feeling I won't be there for anymore than four-six years.
I have an internship with the Maine Stay for next year. Which will be awesome. It'll let me see if I really wanna do this kind of job. I also want to try and get a job as a waitress a couple of nights a week. Hopefully I will waitress this school year and get some extra money so I can do the following:
**Get a new tattoo, or two
**Save up for a motorcycle
**Study Abroad
**Visit Polly in Bulgeria
I love how productive I have been these past few weeks. I wish I had been this way all summer, because then more stuff would have been done. I still have to make the "S" "J" "C" letters, Paint my white board, Finish my WHS Scrapbook, Continue/Finish my memory quilt, Make two quilts to raffle off at school. Damn. Pretty much the only thing that is remotly done is the Scrapbook. Yay.
With that, I'm going to be old and go to bed. The time will be 7:14 pm at the beep. *BEEP*