the pain that i haven't put in here...
well,it's been a week...and a day, since the worst day of my life. I got dumped. The love of my life threw me away... even if he says he didn't. What els happens to a relatinship when u spent almost two years devoting yourself to a person and they up and drop u like a bad habbit? The pain is the worst...and nothing makes it fell better. Except for him...even though this is his fault... I don't hate him... That's the problem... love him more than life... more than anything.
even this couldn't stop my heart from beating for him.
I don't want to put all kinds of crazy details on here... no effense but it's no ones buisness. Pluss it would only make him hatre me more. For i don't even know what... i'm not perfect... but i gave it my BEST shot... There was nothing i could have done. I thought we were in this together. I thought he loved me... Myabe he does... or did. But was he in love with me? Maybe it was never there... God what am i saying?.. i know better. Maybe it was just the sex... well i hope it was fun sweetie cuz i wont ever be able to love someone like that agian...
To me everything i am is his... I lived for him for so long... i don't even know where to start when trying to live for myself. I don't even know how to function with out him... And wether or not he knows it... all of this is his. every last ounce of me.. and it will be for a long time. I know he thinks i'm out fuckin around already (i don't know why, i though he knew me) but the truth is i can't. I can't myself to anyone... the truth is he has all of me and i have nothing left to give... He's walking away with everything i am... and i don't even know what i have to show for all this... a broken heart? Some seriously horrable sleeping and etaing habbits?
But none of that bull shit matters to me... I dont' really care what happened.. or what he did... Truth is i fell in love with all the wonderful things about him and those are the only things i know. Even know... Dan i hope you know that i still love u and think your amazing... I truely hope u find what your looking for and that someone makes u happy someday... i hope you have a wonderfull life and i hope that u never forget the wonderfull memmories we have. I know i wont.
_Xo Xo_
APRIL
even this couldn't stop my heart from beating for him.
I don't want to put all kinds of crazy details on here... no effense but it's no ones buisness. Pluss it would only make him hatre me more. For i don't even know what... i'm not perfect... but i gave it my BEST shot... There was nothing i could have done. I thought we were in this together. I thought he loved me... Myabe he does... or did. But was he in love with me? Maybe it was never there... God what am i saying?.. i know better. Maybe it was just the sex... well i hope it was fun sweetie cuz i wont ever be able to love someone like that agian...
To me everything i am is his... I lived for him for so long... i don't even know where to start when trying to live for myself. I don't even know how to function with out him... And wether or not he knows it... all of this is his. every last ounce of me.. and it will be for a long time. I know he thinks i'm out fuckin around already (i don't know why, i though he knew me) but the truth is i can't. I can't myself to anyone... the truth is he has all of me and i have nothing left to give... He's walking away with everything i am... and i don't even know what i have to show for all this... a broken heart? Some seriously horrable sleeping and etaing habbits?
But none of that bull shit matters to me... I dont' really care what happened.. or what he did... Truth is i fell in love with all the wonderful things about him and those are the only things i know. Even know... Dan i hope you know that i still love u and think your amazing... I truely hope u find what your looking for and that someone makes u happy someday... i hope you have a wonderfull life and i hope that u never forget the wonderfull memmories we have. I know i wont.
_Xo Xo_
APRIL