wow i have nothing to do right now
Yep, it's definately a boring and uneventful day. Same shit different day. I'm kinda sick of how redundant life is. Kind of tired of petty bullshit. But i guess no matter what it is inevitable "life sucks and then you die". lol. that is an optimistis way to look at it.
Well at least i can survive here on no sleep. I can do what i want it is nice. This school rocks my socks. Whohoo for slackers. lol. But everyone knows i'll get shit done eventually. I can't stop focussing on my future and where it is going. I am so worried that i will never have that perfect marraige, amazing family, and pretty house with the white picket fence. AHHHH. That's all i want.
Nope i lied that's not all i want. I want right now not to suck so much. lol. I want to have the joy i used to. I need my babe. I need to feel that freeness, that peace, i fealt when everything was so knew. I really due miss though first few months Ben. I'm sorry i couldn't keep things that wonderful. I've failed you and believe me when i tell you it is eating me up inside.
i wrote you a poem today baby... i think it is pretty self-explainitory. You'll understand when you read it. I hope you come to terms with what i've been dealing with. I love you. I guess i'll see you soon. I hope i'll see you soon. But something tells me i'm not that lucky. Abnd if for some reason your ead this today momma dukes says that i can't see you tady and yada yada but she did say that you can come to me on thursday. ok?
<3 APRIL
Well at least i can survive here on no sleep. I can do what i want it is nice. This school rocks my socks. Whohoo for slackers. lol. But everyone knows i'll get shit done eventually. I can't stop focussing on my future and where it is going. I am so worried that i will never have that perfect marraige, amazing family, and pretty house with the white picket fence. AHHHH. That's all i want.
Nope i lied that's not all i want. I want right now not to suck so much. lol. I want to have the joy i used to. I need my babe. I need to feel that freeness, that peace, i fealt when everything was so knew. I really due miss though first few months Ben. I'm sorry i couldn't keep things that wonderful. I've failed you and believe me when i tell you it is eating me up inside.
i wrote you a poem today baby... i think it is pretty self-explainitory. You'll understand when you read it. I hope you come to terms with what i've been dealing with. I love you. I guess i'll see you soon. I hope i'll see you soon. But something tells me i'm not that lucky. Abnd if for some reason your ead this today momma dukes says that i can't see you tady and yada yada but she did say that you can come to me on thursday. ok?
<3 APRIL