yay for beautiful boys with brains and a heart!
thank god that there is some kind of nice boy population out there. i was beginning to loose hope. But to my surprise there is nice boys and if your lucky they aren't gay! whoopee!
I can tell you now that i'm over dan. I guess it is my right as a woman to be infatuated with the concept of love... but at least i have detached dan from that concept. I can feel myself slowly gliding through this now. it has become so easy,i didn't realize how much i missed being me.
more than being me, i missed feeling like someone cares about me. I know people love me, but there is only one type of love that could replace the empty spot dan left. And... i think i might just be sticking my toes in it.
i haven't even been looking to replace dan or find any type of fulfillment for myself. I guess i have been focusing on helping out other people, it's just easier. But for some odd reason the most amazing thing smacked me dead in the face... i don't even know how to handle it.
but this person makes me feel so amazing... with out the slightest effort. he like takes me into him and spits me out someone els... and i LOVE who i am with him. It's the person i never got to be with dan. God it feels so good.
but as much as this feels amazing it scares me to death! i'm PETRIFIED to get hurt and i'm wicked vunlerable... i feel like if i only grab this with both hands i'll never let it go... and i'm scared that i'll grab it and he wont. i don't want to be the one who loves but doesn't get loved... that is getting old and it hurts way too much.
i don't know a lot about this person but everything i do know amazes me... i'm so intrigued by him. i feel like i'm discovering a whole knew light by finding him... and i don't know what this find is worth yet... but i do know that i enjoy him... everything about him. Even if we never make it past friends, i'll be more than satisfied if i get to feel this way all the time.it is such a breath of fresh air!
if your reading this (and you know who you are)... don't forget all that i've told u... and be gentle ok. i can feel myself falling into you.
<3 APRIL
I can tell you now that i'm over dan. I guess it is my right as a woman to be infatuated with the concept of love... but at least i have detached dan from that concept. I can feel myself slowly gliding through this now. it has become so easy,i didn't realize how much i missed being me.
more than being me, i missed feeling like someone cares about me. I know people love me, but there is only one type of love that could replace the empty spot dan left. And... i think i might just be sticking my toes in it.
i haven't even been looking to replace dan or find any type of fulfillment for myself. I guess i have been focusing on helping out other people, it's just easier. But for some odd reason the most amazing thing smacked me dead in the face... i don't even know how to handle it.
but this person makes me feel so amazing... with out the slightest effort. he like takes me into him and spits me out someone els... and i LOVE who i am with him. It's the person i never got to be with dan. God it feels so good.
but as much as this feels amazing it scares me to death! i'm PETRIFIED to get hurt and i'm wicked vunlerable... i feel like if i only grab this with both hands i'll never let it go... and i'm scared that i'll grab it and he wont. i don't want to be the one who loves but doesn't get loved... that is getting old and it hurts way too much.
i don't know a lot about this person but everything i do know amazes me... i'm so intrigued by him. i feel like i'm discovering a whole knew light by finding him... and i don't know what this find is worth yet... but i do know that i enjoy him... everything about him. Even if we never make it past friends, i'll be more than satisfied if i get to feel this way all the time.it is such a breath of fresh air!
if your reading this (and you know who you are)... don't forget all that i've told u... and be gentle ok. i can feel myself falling into you.
<3 APRIL