(no subject)
what a week for my eyes to re-open. im being constantly molded, reshaped, sized dow, and stretched out for whatever purposes or uses God has for me. what does balance mean? just when you think you've got it undercontrol, you don't. it's a daily effort and sometimes i struggle to train myself for the tasks at hand, like how to control emotions. each day i set goals, and i ask God to help me to be the kind of woman he wants me to be. sometimes, other people want me other ways, and sometimes, i feel like being selfish and just being lazy, but don't we all wish we could do that. life doesn't work that way. what i've learned is to realize the value of my life. no one else has it, and only i can experience it. kinda cool eh? sometimes when circumstances occur you wonder what the meaning of it is for you. what is its signifigance? where's my part? you know, i was asking the wrong questions. it should've been "how can i better myself for the better of this situation for this person's needs?" was i really being negative or was reality just really that strong? what people want from me and what im supposed to do gets so confusing. my prayers this week have changed from "im not sure what i want anymore" to "it's your will not mine." so i stopped asking what it is about me that keeps certain situations and conversations appear most often to opening my eyes and saying "screw it! im going to live without holding back." i had a blast this weekend. what did i do? nothing out of the ordinary, just letting loose. even though some people are a bit more oppinionated, i say screw expectations, set your own goals. don't let anyone or anything dictate your life or make you feel a certain way other than happy. if happiness isn't in the cards, then something's gotta give. i'm all about making others happy, but sometimes, you gotta be selfish for it too. with that said, everyone, don't just have a great day, make it a great day.
love mo
love mo