Birthday Cake!!
Thanks Lacy and Hanna and McKayle and everyone for birthday gifts and "happy birthdays", i love you guys! When I was finishing my last entry I didn't get to include how the thought of my friendships and just having someone genuinely say "happy birthday" to me means as much, if not more than getting a gift. Because it's late and Im in a pissy mood, I won't go into detail about last night, but... me n Hanna were stoned off our asses and drunk like hell yesterday and Chris was pretty stoned, but like we started at 4:15 ish, and it didn't wear off me till 9:30. Yes, I went to the dance company dinner jacked tha fuck up! omg...it was insane...I almost molested Chris yesterday in the car and was talkin to ms legg and eating nasty spinach rolls at the dinner. I also had to stumble up to the front and accept a "Butthead" award...we give out funny awards to each other...this is very very very funny for those of you who know what happened on spring break...And then today was pretty yuk cause I slept bad + yesterday+ period. And i'm stressing WAYYY too much about the River City recital this weekend, which IS a big deal, but not big enough to make me unhappy and stressed. Im not gonna be a professional dancer, i dont' even dance in their company, and there's only one performance, I'll try my hardest, but if I fuck up, who gives a shit?!?!? Dance is supposed to be something fun for me, but something so stressful can't be fun! So I have to give up the dancing or the stress...I'm thinkin the stress. I'm so happy for you Clare, but can you imagine pretty much knowing who you are gonna spend tha rest of your life on this Earth with ( and in heaven) and not be able to kiss them? It's this unimaginable pain. BUt I love Edwin so much, I'm not gonna mess with any guys, I jus don't want to, it's not even a rule I made for myself, just somehting I realized I didn't wanna do. And I was all pissy after dance so I had lots of birthdya cake, but it's ok, cause I'll only have one Sweet 16 birthday cake! Hmm..so I feel weird..like I dunno. I'm tryin REAL hard in school, but not getting the grades I want, I dunno what else to do. And I got me webcam set up!! yay! So if you ever wanna watch go to yahoo.com and make a Yahoo IM which is free n easy, n then you can see my Dancinonthestars webcam!!i love it! It's an amazing feeling to know that Edwin can see me moving n shit. My Angel...