Jul 08, 2005 14:34
I found this pretty funny.. (my neighbor sent it to my mom.)
Subject: Abbott
and Costello in today's world
You have
to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old
to REALLY understand
computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of
us who sometimes get
flustered by our computers, please read on... for
those who don't, you
are too young anyway.(or if you are a techie)
If Bud
Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
sketch, "Who's on
first?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS
TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super
Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO:
Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a
computer.
ABBOTT:
Mac?
CO STELLO: No,
the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO:
I don't own a computer. I want to buy one
ABBOTT:
Mac?
COSTELLO: I
told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What
about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you
want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I
don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT:
Wallpaper.
COSTELLO:
Never mind the windows. I need a computer and
software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO:
No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track
expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO:
Yeah, for my office Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I
just did.
COSTELLO:
You just d id what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO:
You recommended something?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO: For
my office?
ABBOTT:
Yes.
COSTELLO: OK ,
what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT:
Office.
COSTELLO:
Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I
already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm sitting at my
computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO:
The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The
Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:
Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT:
The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm
going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
some straight
answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTE LLO:
Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just
tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4.
Can I watch
them?
ABBOTT: Of
course.
COSTELLO:
Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do
I do?
ABBOTT: You
click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The
blue "1".
COSTELLO:
Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue
"1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What
word?
ABBOTT: The
Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO:
But there are three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT:
No, just one But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It
is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but
to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out
all the other W ords out there.
COSTELLO: And
that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real
One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
of Office.
COSTELLO:
STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO:
That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT:
Money.
COSTELLO: I
need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It
comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO:
What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Money
COSTELLO:
Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT:
Yes. No extra
charge.
COSTELLO: I
get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One
copy.
COSTELLO:
Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT:
Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO:
They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why
not? THEY OWN IT!
(A
few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper com puter store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How
do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT:
Click on "START"......
J
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