You don't have to be a genius, but it helps to.
(This was originally a Facebook note, but here I've expanded it.)
I have caught some sort of plague, and it came on very suddenly. Achy muscles, constantly running nose, tickly throat, low fever and occasional chills. Because I'm obsessed with death, I assumed I had meningitis, and started planning for my untimely demise. Unfortunately, I feel a little better today, so it appears I may pull through. One can always dream. I might pick out a slammin' burial dress, just in case.
I started seeing a new boy... sort of. We've been on a couple dates, and we like each other, and keep making additional plans, so... that's seeing each other, right? He's coming to Johnny's party with me on Saturday, so he'll have to pass the gets-along-with-gays test, but so far we've had nothing but good interactions. Two things: his name is Chris, also, and differentiating between New Chris and Old Chris in conversation is a pain in the butt (that's basically how I do it, though it's misleading, because New Chris is actually older than "Old" Chris, he's just new to me). I'll ask if he has any nicknames or goes by Christopher ever or something, because it's hard for me to say his name and introduce him to people and whatnot without thinking of Old Chris. The other thing is that, while I really like him, I don't feel like seeing him and talking to him all the time, the way I normally do when I meet someone new. While this is obviously a much healthier way to approach dating someone, and has been my goal since dealing with the utter failure of the old approach, it worries me. I think I just need to get to know him a little better, and then I'll get more excited about it. Not that I'm not excited... I don't know how to explain it. I guess I'm just feeling cautious. In the past, I've thrown myself into these things with reckless abandon, and it's exhilarating to get swept up in the newness of it all, but I'm tired of the boom/bust emotional cycle. I want... reliability. Moderation.
I think part of the difference is I'm no longer looking to combine the best friend/boyfriend roles - before I was seeking both, so I would attempt to make whomever I was seeing into my best friend-type person (the person I share the minutiae of life with), and then the break-up was that much harder. But now Lindsay is my best friend - I talk to her almost every day (maybe it's every day? It's not a rule or anything, it just happens that way), and we fulfill each other's emotional needs for companionship and commiseration outside of a dating relationship. Also, with Dylan in the house, I'm never really "lonely" anymore - if it's a night I happen to be home, he's usually around to hang out with. Like last night, I was feeling really sick, so I canceled my other plans (school and dollars at the Funhouse; I skipped class to take a nap because I was delirious, and then flaked on meeting up with Lindsay and Matt because it was too late) and got dinner with Dylan and watched a movie. It was nice. The point is, with my social calendar being mostly full anyway, and my emotional needs being met, I don't feel the same urgency toward dating that I was dealing with before. It's sort of... superfluous. But nice, of course.
On a slightly related note, Johnny and I have officially decided that there are WAY too many people named Chris. I meet more of them all the time; I met TWO this past weekend. I propose a moratorium on the name Chris until concentrations decrease.
I'm skipping karaoke tonight, because of the aforementioned illness. I was supposed to play trivia with Robert, but I haven't made up my mind whether I'm going to go through with it or not. I kind of want to avoid the hill, and I have homework to do, aside from just not feeling well. But I've already rescheduled trivia with him twice. We'll see. I haven't played trivia in a long time, I don't want to let myself get too rusty.
I have caught some sort of plague, and it came on very suddenly. Achy muscles, constantly running nose, tickly throat, low fever and occasional chills. Because I'm obsessed with death, I assumed I had meningitis, and started planning for my untimely demise. Unfortunately, I feel a little better today, so it appears I may pull through. One can always dream. I might pick out a slammin' burial dress, just in case.
I started seeing a new boy... sort of. We've been on a couple dates, and we like each other, and keep making additional plans, so... that's seeing each other, right? He's coming to Johnny's party with me on Saturday, so he'll have to pass the gets-along-with-gays test, but so far we've had nothing but good interactions. Two things: his name is Chris, also, and differentiating between New Chris and Old Chris in conversation is a pain in the butt (that's basically how I do it, though it's misleading, because New Chris is actually older than "Old" Chris, he's just new to me). I'll ask if he has any nicknames or goes by Christopher ever or something, because it's hard for me to say his name and introduce him to people and whatnot without thinking of Old Chris. The other thing is that, while I really like him, I don't feel like seeing him and talking to him all the time, the way I normally do when I meet someone new. While this is obviously a much healthier way to approach dating someone, and has been my goal since dealing with the utter failure of the old approach, it worries me. I think I just need to get to know him a little better, and then I'll get more excited about it. Not that I'm not excited... I don't know how to explain it. I guess I'm just feeling cautious. In the past, I've thrown myself into these things with reckless abandon, and it's exhilarating to get swept up in the newness of it all, but I'm tired of the boom/bust emotional cycle. I want... reliability. Moderation.
I think part of the difference is I'm no longer looking to combine the best friend/boyfriend roles - before I was seeking both, so I would attempt to make whomever I was seeing into my best friend-type person (the person I share the minutiae of life with), and then the break-up was that much harder. But now Lindsay is my best friend - I talk to her almost every day (maybe it's every day? It's not a rule or anything, it just happens that way), and we fulfill each other's emotional needs for companionship and commiseration outside of a dating relationship. Also, with Dylan in the house, I'm never really "lonely" anymore - if it's a night I happen to be home, he's usually around to hang out with. Like last night, I was feeling really sick, so I canceled my other plans (school and dollars at the Funhouse; I skipped class to take a nap because I was delirious, and then flaked on meeting up with Lindsay and Matt because it was too late) and got dinner with Dylan and watched a movie. It was nice. The point is, with my social calendar being mostly full anyway, and my emotional needs being met, I don't feel the same urgency toward dating that I was dealing with before. It's sort of... superfluous. But nice, of course.
On a slightly related note, Johnny and I have officially decided that there are WAY too many people named Chris. I meet more of them all the time; I met TWO this past weekend. I propose a moratorium on the name Chris until concentrations decrease.
I'm skipping karaoke tonight, because of the aforementioned illness. I was supposed to play trivia with Robert, but I haven't made up my mind whether I'm going to go through with it or not. I kind of want to avoid the hill, and I have homework to do, aside from just not feeling well. But I've already rescheduled trivia with him twice. We'll see. I haven't played trivia in a long time, I don't want to let myself get too rusty.