No one else will know these lonely dreams
I had so many dreams last night. I have no idea why, but I always have the most vivid, strange dreams after drinking. Does it happen like that for anyone else? I practically look forward to it.
In one dream, I smoked cigarettes. Not like a habit, just two that I wanted to get rid of so someone else didn't smoke them. Apparently throwing them away wasn't going to do the trick. Afterwards I thought, "Now I can't say I've never smoked anything, what have I done?" Why is that so important to me? I'm not really sure. While smoking cigarettes is foul, I have little argument with occasional hookah smoking, in fact I think it smells nice and looks kind of fun, but I still won't do it. I can't. Not smoking or doing drugs is as impulsive to me as not eating meat; probably more so, because I ate meat until I was 13, but I've never smoked. So I find it very odd when I dream of these things (this is my first cigarette dream, though the meat ones have cropped up on occasion. I get the same oh-my-goodness-what-have-I-done-ew-gross feelings in those, too), because in real life they seem so abhorrent to me, but in the dreams I have no feelings of apprehension or thought not to do it until after it is done, then it's a crushing flood of regret and disgust.
Something I've never been able to understand is dreaming of things that have never happened in real life. I don't mean of things that can't happen, like flying dreams or being a different gender, but things that are very able to happen, just haven't. Before I had ever been kissed, I dreamt of kissing people, and I must say, my subconscious got it right on. In the smoking dream, I felt the smoke enter my lungs. I could taste it, though it was a muted taste. I coughed. Aside from the taste, I can't imagine real smoking being any different than how it was in my dream. But how? Just because I've been around it so much? Unlike the kissing dream, I'm not going to test out my dream's accuracy on this one, but I still think I got it pretty close, and I am still puzzled at how that can be.
There's more to this line, but my mom and brother are on their way, and I'm not dressed yet. I hope to finish it later.
In one dream, I smoked cigarettes. Not like a habit, just two that I wanted to get rid of so someone else didn't smoke them. Apparently throwing them away wasn't going to do the trick. Afterwards I thought, "Now I can't say I've never smoked anything, what have I done?" Why is that so important to me? I'm not really sure. While smoking cigarettes is foul, I have little argument with occasional hookah smoking, in fact I think it smells nice and looks kind of fun, but I still won't do it. I can't. Not smoking or doing drugs is as impulsive to me as not eating meat; probably more so, because I ate meat until I was 13, but I've never smoked. So I find it very odd when I dream of these things (this is my first cigarette dream, though the meat ones have cropped up on occasion. I get the same oh-my-goodness-what-have-I-done-ew-gross feelings in those, too), because in real life they seem so abhorrent to me, but in the dreams I have no feelings of apprehension or thought not to do it until after it is done, then it's a crushing flood of regret and disgust.
Something I've never been able to understand is dreaming of things that have never happened in real life. I don't mean of things that can't happen, like flying dreams or being a different gender, but things that are very able to happen, just haven't. Before I had ever been kissed, I dreamt of kissing people, and I must say, my subconscious got it right on. In the smoking dream, I felt the smoke enter my lungs. I could taste it, though it was a muted taste. I coughed. Aside from the taste, I can't imagine real smoking being any different than how it was in my dream. But how? Just because I've been around it so much? Unlike the kissing dream, I'm not going to test out my dream's accuracy on this one, but I still think I got it pretty close, and I am still puzzled at how that can be.
There's more to this line, but my mom and brother are on their way, and I'm not dressed yet. I hope to finish it later.