Sitting Shiva

[danceswithwaves]

Before I begin:

“In Judaism, shiva (or 'shiv'ah', Hebrew: העבש ; "seven") is the week-long period of grief and mourning for the seven first-degree relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, and spouse. (Grandparents and grandchildren are traditionally not included). As most regular activity is interrupted, the process of following

Comments

[danceswithwaves]

Thanks! The amount of food was simply hilarious. When my other grandparents passed away we got food but not nearly as much; the real difference is the number of relatives living in the area -- all the relatives sent food.

Hah, and that kid -- I knew it would be useless to start a random conversation about wonderful books -- he would totally see right through it.

See you Saturday!

[sartorias]

I am sorry for your loss.

A fascinating account. My closest experience with sitting Shiva was when I went to visit a friend in Paris, back in winter of 1972, when I was living in Vienna. Unfortunately, her dad died suddenly between the time I departed and my arrival, so I arrived, a totally cash-broke student, to a house of mourning. The mother was absolutely furious, and kicked me out. (I don't blame her)

Before she did, I could hear the prayers in the other room, switching between Hebrew and French.

[danceswithwaves]

Thank you.

Ooh, bad timing. If you'd arrived after the funeral I would have expected them to feed you, but beforehand everything is really crazy.

I love seeing prayer books in another language because the Hebrew is all recognizable but the translation isn't. The knowledge that Hebrew is the connecting language while English isn't gives me this feeling of connectedness that's completely different from when English is the common language.

[sartorias]

Yes--that connectedness is something I pick up when reading historical documents wherein people all over the world could communicate in Latin. I got that sense again, when reading memoirs of people after the Holocaust who, when they first reached Israel, could only communicate in one language--Hebrew.

[asakiyume]

No wonder your little cousin doesn't like reading, poor guy!

Day Two made me laugh.

Day Three--what are the chances!? Doesn't it just figure that you'd get a pasta dish on the day that you baked pasta.

That rabbi really does sound like a pain in the neck.

--Thanks for sharing this; I didn't know this about Jewish tradition. Very sorry for the loss of your grandfather, though, and sending you and your family lots of love (and retroactive desserts).

[danceswithwaves]

Thank you, and thanks for the cyber brownies.

We didn't actually bake the ziti, I just call the sause+cheese+ziti mixture 'baked ziti.' A different relative had sent over that dinner. I never actually saw the second pasta dish. *g* It got stuck in the fridge or freezer and disappeared -- I hope someone ate it or it got put in the freezer.

[skogkatt]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It was fascinating and funny and wonderful and sad all at the same time. I can definitely understand you and your sister being grumbly with the rabbi. He sounded really inconsiderate. Also, a lot of this feels familiar (family dynamics, weirdness coming out over things like food when everyone is stressed and grieving, hilarity over mundane ridiculousness in an emotionally complex situation...) even while the traditions are not my own. Thanks again. Please never hesitate to share more of your experiences on account of worrying people won't find it interesting!

[danceswithwaves]

Thank you for reading. I hadn't really worried that people wouldn't find it interesting, it was more that the thought that people would had never even crossed my mind. I'm glad that the way I wrote it up was entertaining, though -- I don't often post real-life synopsis.

That synagogue has gone through multiple cantors and assistant rabbis because he runs it like a one man show. They can't get rid of him because of various politics that got him a lifetime contract, and now the congregation is just used to it and doesn't care; my aunt brushed it off when my dad mentioned his annoyance. So my sister and I got instated as service leaders and it could be passed off as wholly parental pride that we were capable of leading.

[aesr_is_a_robot]

haha i'm amused i ended up in this. ^^
Also what, Huckleberry Finn is an awesome book! :P

[danceswithwaves]

No, Tom Sawyer is an awesome book. Huckleberry Finn is kind of slow and not something I would give to a kid who's iffy about reading. :P