Human Nature
Following on the heels of my last post, I've been thinking about human nature. Not just the fact that the majority of people rushed to help this guy or call 911 not knowing who he was or why he was on fire, but the fact that people talk about it after. That people want to know what happened and that the people who saw want to talk about it. A lot of it I think, especially right after the incident, is the human need for connection. Although the information part of it is important, and the reason for wanting to know is ingrained in survival instincts of "is this dangerous to me?" I think the main reason is a shout for connection. You experienced something on your own, without knowing what other people saw or thought; but this thing was shocking, depressing, scary, and you want to know that you're not alone. You want to know that other people had the same thoughts, that other people care, and that other people will say "Oh My God" and give you a hug. What you really want is the hug. You want to be reassured that the whole world isn't like what you just saw. Or perhaps that the whole world partially is -- that the heroism and helpfulness of people extend past one point in time.
But the number of people who want to talk to others -- to people who weren't there, not just people who are standing next to you watching the police and wondering what just went on -- it's those numbers that make me think. Because standing next to someone and having them ask if you know what just happened is the sharing of information. It's how we get around in our daily lives, and how we survive in life. Some information we share because it's necessary, other bits because we just want to know. (This dovetails neatly into a post I keep meaning to write about the nature of gossip, but that post will have to wait.) Earlier today, right after the incident, I was in the bathroom and heard a girl on the phone say "Hi Mom, I have something exciting to tell you about today and something scary. The scary thing..." Obviously the girl's mom was not in Red Square, and it could be argued that if the daughter sees something important, or something happens to her, of course the mom should learn about it. But how many students called friends afterwards, and not family, and how many called friends who are not even at UW? That type of information sharing is not quite the same as talking to someone standing next to you. It's not for survival, it's for comfort. How much information do we share every day because we simply want someone else to hear us?
And the fact is that your friend does hear you. Your mom hears you. They care. They want to know what's happening in your life because they're interested in you. So when something happens that is past the ordinary, something that you can't wait until next week to talk about -- something you need to say now -- you call the people who care. And you are heard. And sometimes, that's all that's needed.
But the number of people who want to talk to others -- to people who weren't there, not just people who are standing next to you watching the police and wondering what just went on -- it's those numbers that make me think. Because standing next to someone and having them ask if you know what just happened is the sharing of information. It's how we get around in our daily lives, and how we survive in life. Some information we share because it's necessary, other bits because we just want to know. (This dovetails neatly into a post I keep meaning to write about the nature of gossip, but that post will have to wait.) Earlier today, right after the incident, I was in the bathroom and heard a girl on the phone say "Hi Mom, I have something exciting to tell you about today and something scary. The scary thing..." Obviously the girl's mom was not in Red Square, and it could be argued that if the daughter sees something important, or something happens to her, of course the mom should learn about it. But how many students called friends afterwards, and not family, and how many called friends who are not even at UW? That type of information sharing is not quite the same as talking to someone standing next to you. It's not for survival, it's for comfort. How much information do we share every day because we simply want someone else to hear us?
And the fact is that your friend does hear you. Your mom hears you. They care. They want to know what's happening in your life because they're interested in you. So when something happens that is past the ordinary, something that you can't wait until next week to talk about -- something you need to say now -- you call the people who care. And you are heard. And sometimes, that's all that's needed.