(no subject)
I desperately wish I could forgive those who have hurt me... but I promised that I wouldn't... because when you let it go and let them in you are letting it happen again and again...
It's hard though because I don't want to keep being mean about it and I wish wish wish that it could be like it was when we drove all over the world (florida) and had the best time but too much has happened... we shopped everywhere and did random fun stuff and I would love to forget and do it all again... it would all be so much easier if I didn't care... but that kind of pain doesn't just go away easily... for me it never does. And I think I've been really good about it... and I know that people make mistakes... I do...but it's almost like if I do let's all forget about it and never speak again... I can let it go at times when they can't... and I guess that just shows who needs who here... but I just don't have the energy to fake that which "they" seem to desire from me. I just can't... and I don't want it to be personal but it has to be because when you ignore me and piss me off you are making a choice... and it sucks if the missing element is that which you left me for but it's not really my problem, is it? After what you did, and how unfair you were, can't you just let it go and let me alone? Cuz there are other people who were there, and not only for themselves... and when things are bad, you can really see things clearly... and you're too transparent.
It's hard though because I don't want to keep being mean about it and I wish wish wish that it could be like it was when we drove all over the world (florida) and had the best time but too much has happened... we shopped everywhere and did random fun stuff and I would love to forget and do it all again... it would all be so much easier if I didn't care... but that kind of pain doesn't just go away easily... for me it never does. And I think I've been really good about it... and I know that people make mistakes... I do...but it's almost like if I do let's all forget about it and never speak again... I can let it go at times when they can't... and I guess that just shows who needs who here... but I just don't have the energy to fake that which "they" seem to desire from me. I just can't... and I don't want it to be personal but it has to be because when you ignore me and piss me off you are making a choice... and it sucks if the missing element is that which you left me for but it's not really my problem, is it? After what you did, and how unfair you were, can't you just let it go and let me alone? Cuz there are other people who were there, and not only for themselves... and when things are bad, you can really see things clearly... and you're too transparent.