New Determination?
"Maybe this year will be different? No, this year will be different!" I tell myself.
Since I've gotten back to SD I've been really bored, hopeful and frustrated.
I've spent most of my time fruitlessly looking for work, except, this time I actually got interviews! Which is a nice change from last year if only one of them would actually hire me. I'm getting really nervous because both of my parents told me that they're worried about the stability of their jobs. Both of them are living paycheck to paycheck and are barely getting by as it is. I'm feeling the pressure so I'm switching my route in life of teaching dance to a more financially stable one in Clinical Psychology. It's not that I don't like Psychology...I do like it.. but I don't love it like I do the Arts.
I didn't realize just how friendless I was until Patrick left for the bay for 10 days. I tried contacting everyone I knew that was in SD and everyone was "sick" or "busy". It made me miss LA during and directly after high school before everyone left for college, got married and or pregnant. Being at UCSD the last year was great and horrible at the same time. It was great because I had finally reached a goal after all the hardship and set backs in my life. It was horrible because I had a hard time making real friends because I couldn't relate to anyone. I thought I wouldn't run into the same problems as other transfers because I was a dance major, but as it turned out the dance department is network of cliques. I got here at a time that everyone that was continuing at this school had already formed bonds with people they lived with as freshmen and went through a bunch of "firsts" together which, deepened their bonds. It doesn't help that I'm much older and socially awkward
I tried changing that by joining Sixth College Ambassadors. Basically free labor, but, it helps a bit. Keeps me busy. Sometimes, I think I take it a little too seriously compared to everyone else.
More later...it's 4:30 and I'm sure staring at a computer screen doesn't help me get sleepy.
Since I've gotten back to SD I've been really bored, hopeful and frustrated.
I've spent most of my time fruitlessly looking for work, except, this time I actually got interviews! Which is a nice change from last year if only one of them would actually hire me. I'm getting really nervous because both of my parents told me that they're worried about the stability of their jobs. Both of them are living paycheck to paycheck and are barely getting by as it is. I'm feeling the pressure so I'm switching my route in life of teaching dance to a more financially stable one in Clinical Psychology. It's not that I don't like Psychology...I do like it.. but I don't love it like I do the Arts.
I didn't realize just how friendless I was until Patrick left for the bay for 10 days. I tried contacting everyone I knew that was in SD and everyone was "sick" or "busy". It made me miss LA during and directly after high school before everyone left for college, got married and or pregnant. Being at UCSD the last year was great and horrible at the same time. It was great because I had finally reached a goal after all the hardship and set backs in my life. It was horrible because I had a hard time making real friends because I couldn't relate to anyone. I thought I wouldn't run into the same problems as other transfers because I was a dance major, but as it turned out the dance department is network of cliques. I got here at a time that everyone that was continuing at this school had already formed bonds with people they lived with as freshmen and went through a bunch of "firsts" together which, deepened their bonds. It doesn't help that I'm much older and socially awkward
I tried changing that by joining Sixth College Ambassadors. Basically free labor, but, it helps a bit. Keeps me busy. Sometimes, I think I take it a little too seriously compared to everyone else.
More later...it's 4:30 and I'm sure staring at a computer screen doesn't help me get sleepy.