(no subject)
HEY all, I'm here... complaining ... AGAIN... just to remind people... you don't actually HAVE to read these... I just use them as a way to let out a little of the pent up steam... :) well, I'm off to a dance rehealsal in about 15 minutes, so I'm going to make this a short one... I'm going to sell the Iphone... I know... It's going to kill me, but... I can't help it... I need a more reliable, more powerful machine... I was thinking the samsung I780... I was waiting for it to come out for AGES and no one had any idea when exactly it was meant to come out... so I got the Iphone, and about a month later, it comes out... -_- so pissed. anyways... things really aren't looking up... A. keeps promising that I will start to feel better, but htis is a cycle I have seen before. So many times... I think I'm heading towards another attempt... how many has it been now?? *sigh. The sighns are all there... It's only a matter of time, and Maybe this time I will get lucky... feck it all... I should just go on and do it... get it over and done with... If not now, it will be some other day, in some other circumstance... nothings going to have changed... and people keep going on about my great potential... which I really do not have... it just really pisses me off... that they keep LYING TO MY FACE, as if I'm really that stupid enought to believe that I can do anything at all... btw... did you guys see the picture of a certain A.H kissing another girl on facebook... considering she was such a homophobic bully at school, it made my blood boil... It... urg. anyway... and you know A's girl friend... she has been writing long messages to me on facebook, look for a Shiv... B... on my wall.. haven't written the whole name... she usually writes two messages in one go... because of the damned word limit... and the thing is, we get on quite well, and I think in different circumstances, we woudl have been good friends... but now... i snogged her boyfriend while they where still together... I am such a horrible person... and I feel so damned guilty... and I can see that he hurts me on purpose... when he does it, he looks straight at me, straight into my eyes, to see my reaction. It doesn't help that He is with someone and I'm not... If I was with someone, I would not have that much time to spend with him, but as it is... he just goes "oh, sorry I can't spend any time with you... I have to go and see my GF..." and he knows that it kills me a little bit, when he says it... but he says it anyway...
And these are all things I have said SO MANY TIMES BEFORE... and I should stop obsessing about it and just GROW UP... but I can't help it... :( STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... and to be honest the only way out that I can see, is to be with someone else, then he can't do or say anything... but I'm not going to just throw myself at someone... no. I can't just do that... that would just be so wrong of me... just a waste of life, me...
I have to go now... the stupid choreographer girl just called to be pissy... *sigh...
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And these are all things I have said SO MANY TIMES BEFORE... and I should stop obsessing about it and just GROW UP... but I can't help it... :( STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... and to be honest the only way out that I can see, is to be with someone else, then he can't do or say anything... but I'm not going to just throw myself at someone... no. I can't just do that... that would just be so wrong of me... just a waste of life, me...
I have to go now... the stupid choreographer girl just called to be pissy... *sigh...
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