Charity's Diary 8th entry
Dear Journal November-10-2013
Well, sorry I haven’t written in a few days. We went to San Antonio to see my cousins. We went to the zoo and saw all the Animals and I esp loved seeing the dolphins. I have had a fun time there and not much time to write. I left my journal actually, because I didn’t want anyone to see what I write. I mean, this stuff is top secret. Well me and Jamie are still going out together and he went with me on the trip. It was fun, we went to the Zoo, had icecream and hung out with each other. It was nice to get away from everything.
“Have you written any songs yet?” He asked me
I took a bite of my Ice cream. It was nice and cool but not too cold to eat Ice cream. “I’ve written one but I don’t think it’s that great.” I said, moving my head towards his hazel eyes.
“what is it about?” He asked
“It’s about my struggles with God and how I’m sometimes tempted to go back.” I said
“Oh.” He asked
“What are something’s you struggle with?” He asked
“I sometimes think that God doesn’t love me.” I said really shyly.
“Ooh, God always loves you no matter what.” He said
We kept walking.
“Thanks, sometimes I just doubt it.” I said
“Don’t doubt it anymore. Tell me you will stop.” He took my hand, my Ice cream in my other hand.
We walked across the bridge.
“Well sometimes I think I’m bad enough that God disowned me.” I said
“Hun, that could never happen to you, you know it.” Said Jamie
He stopped walking and took a look at me in the eyes.
“Those are words I never want to hear again.” He said, how could someone like me , doubt someone like God, well I do, in times where I need him most, I doubt him. I just don’t understand, how he’s big enough to help me when I needed help. Sometimes I really feel like giving up. And all hope is gone.
“Well, what if I do doubt him? What if I needed your help when I do?”
I started walking away, throwing my Ice cream down, in anger.
“No wait!! I’m sorry.” Said Jamie
“I didn’t mean to be pushy to you. I just don’t want…….
Said Jamie
“I didn’t mean to be pushy to you. I just don’t want you to doubt God and you might get scared and doubt him more.” He said
“Why does everything have to be so complicated, why can’t you just tell me the truth??” I asked
I was mad at him and I didn’t want to talk anymore about it. I didn’t know what to think about. I didn’t know how exactly I was feeling, other then mad. I felt like leaving him and going back to my old ways.
I felt embarrassed.
“If you doubt God, he wont be able to make anything happen for you. You are supposed to believe in him.”
“Oh, why does everything have to be so hard?” I asked
“Just keep trying.” He said
“Ok. I will.” I said and then I walked with him to the Dolphin site.
It was nice being able to pet the dolphins and feed them. It had been a long time since I’ve been to the Sea World, you can tell, I was smiling and enjoying my time. It was exciting and breath taking.
It was the best moment of my life. I’ve always wanted to pet a dolphin. And to esp have Jamie by my side at the same time. I felt special.
Anyways, I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Charity
Well, sorry I haven’t written in a few days. We went to San Antonio to see my cousins. We went to the zoo and saw all the Animals and I esp loved seeing the dolphins. I have had a fun time there and not much time to write. I left my journal actually, because I didn’t want anyone to see what I write. I mean, this stuff is top secret. Well me and Jamie are still going out together and he went with me on the trip. It was fun, we went to the Zoo, had icecream and hung out with each other. It was nice to get away from everything.
“Have you written any songs yet?” He asked me
I took a bite of my Ice cream. It was nice and cool but not too cold to eat Ice cream. “I’ve written one but I don’t think it’s that great.” I said, moving my head towards his hazel eyes.
“what is it about?” He asked
“It’s about my struggles with God and how I’m sometimes tempted to go back.” I said
“Oh.” He asked
“What are something’s you struggle with?” He asked
“I sometimes think that God doesn’t love me.” I said really shyly.
“Ooh, God always loves you no matter what.” He said
We kept walking.
“Thanks, sometimes I just doubt it.” I said
“Don’t doubt it anymore. Tell me you will stop.” He took my hand, my Ice cream in my other hand.
We walked across the bridge.
“Well sometimes I think I’m bad enough that God disowned me.” I said
“Hun, that could never happen to you, you know it.” Said Jamie
He stopped walking and took a look at me in the eyes.
“Those are words I never want to hear again.” He said, how could someone like me , doubt someone like God, well I do, in times where I need him most, I doubt him. I just don’t understand, how he’s big enough to help me when I needed help. Sometimes I really feel like giving up. And all hope is gone.
“Well, what if I do doubt him? What if I needed your help when I do?”
I started walking away, throwing my Ice cream down, in anger.
“No wait!! I’m sorry.” Said Jamie
“I didn’t mean to be pushy to you. I just don’t want…….
Said Jamie
“I didn’t mean to be pushy to you. I just don’t want you to doubt God and you might get scared and doubt him more.” He said
“Why does everything have to be so complicated, why can’t you just tell me the truth??” I asked
I was mad at him and I didn’t want to talk anymore about it. I didn’t know what to think about. I didn’t know how exactly I was feeling, other then mad. I felt like leaving him and going back to my old ways.
I felt embarrassed.
“If you doubt God, he wont be able to make anything happen for you. You are supposed to believe in him.”
“Oh, why does everything have to be so hard?” I asked
“Just keep trying.” He said
“Ok. I will.” I said and then I walked with him to the Dolphin site.
It was nice being able to pet the dolphins and feed them. It had been a long time since I’ve been to the Sea World, you can tell, I was smiling and enjoying my time. It was exciting and breath taking.
It was the best moment of my life. I’ve always wanted to pet a dolphin. And to esp have Jamie by my side at the same time. I felt special.
Anyways, I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow.
Charity