time flies
I can't believe we're into the third six weeks of school. We got our progress reports Friday- all A's except for a B in English. I've been trying to bring my grade up, but right now, I honestly don't care. Yet I know I should care, just because of my inner need to maintain all A's. It's not even my parents... getting all A's is something that I have always pressured myself to do. I guess that's why I'm such an OCD person in reality. I mean honestly, there's few things I do that are for me... and not for the sake of getting a college scholarship. Sometimes I wish I was just your average teen, but I know that wouldn't ever work for me. My mind does not sit well with "just average."
On a lighter note, it's funny how a relaxed weekend is needed every once in awhile. I mean, Friday night I spent the night at a foreign exchange student's host family's house as part of a "Disciple Now" retreat for Rachel Peter's church. I love the people there and the message they are trying to get across (meaning I like the way they do church and stuff), but it sucks because it's all the way out in Middletown (middletown United Metodist Church). I had to leave around noon Saturday, but the study sessions we had Friday night and Saturday morning were really insightful. It really made me want to have a stronger relationship with God. Right now, I feel like I deserve to go to Hell.. not because I'm a bad person (well, kinda not), but because I feel like I should have a stronger bond with God... I think it would really help my life. It's really kinda ironic, because in middle school, my brother and I were totally opposed to even mentioning the word "church." But it was truly an eye opener for me.
Then last night I babysat for the first time in Lord knows how long. It was nice getting 30 bucks in 5 hours.
I've also been really uncomfortable with my physical appearance lately. I find myself unable to control my eating sometimes... like eating when I'm not hungry. I don't think I've gained like more than 5lbs since school started, but it's just... I feel gross. I don't know. I mean, maybe dance has boosted my metabolism more than I thought. But it really bothers me.
I'm so glad I've found someone I really like who likes me back. It's weird--I already see Jay's and my relationship going in a totally different direction than my one with Jeremy. I don't know, maybe you can't really compare past relationships with present ones, but it's near impossible not to. He makes me really happy. I don't know what it is. I think this relationship will be good for the both of us.
I can't wait for dance practice tomorrow. And seeing everyone. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have dance to fall back on. Dance is my outlet... one of those things I do for me... despite how some teammates can be a pain in the tush. It's like, dance itself can push that aside.
Speaking of dance, we lost another team member as of Friday. Camille Walker. I'm gonna miss her--she transferred from Manual this year and is a Junior too. It's funny--I told my mom I didn't think she'd be returning next year about the time school started. I must be psychic... haha. But I mean, dance has it's never ending drama.
in example...
Freshman year: Brittany Lin quitting; etc
Sophomore Year: Whitney/anorexia/quitting; Holly/Eliza/Chicago; Eliza quitting, Meagan/illness/quitting; Sarah and Patricia not returning; etc
This year: Ashley/resigning; Emily not returning; Carolina/knee/her mom; Alexis quitting; Holly not returning; Camille quitting; Meredith not returning; more to come...
*sigh* I love Dance nonetheless. I really want to do it in college.
On a lighter note, it's funny how a relaxed weekend is needed every once in awhile. I mean, Friday night I spent the night at a foreign exchange student's host family's house as part of a "Disciple Now" retreat for Rachel Peter's church. I love the people there and the message they are trying to get across (meaning I like the way they do church and stuff), but it sucks because it's all the way out in Middletown (middletown United Metodist Church). I had to leave around noon Saturday, but the study sessions we had Friday night and Saturday morning were really insightful. It really made me want to have a stronger relationship with God. Right now, I feel like I deserve to go to Hell.. not because I'm a bad person (well, kinda not), but because I feel like I should have a stronger bond with God... I think it would really help my life. It's really kinda ironic, because in middle school, my brother and I were totally opposed to even mentioning the word "church." But it was truly an eye opener for me.
Then last night I babysat for the first time in Lord knows how long. It was nice getting 30 bucks in 5 hours.
I've also been really uncomfortable with my physical appearance lately. I find myself unable to control my eating sometimes... like eating when I'm not hungry. I don't think I've gained like more than 5lbs since school started, but it's just... I feel gross. I don't know. I mean, maybe dance has boosted my metabolism more than I thought. But it really bothers me.
I'm so glad I've found someone I really like who likes me back. It's weird--I already see Jay's and my relationship going in a totally different direction than my one with Jeremy. I don't know, maybe you can't really compare past relationships with present ones, but it's near impossible not to. He makes me really happy. I don't know what it is. I think this relationship will be good for the both of us.
I can't wait for dance practice tomorrow. And seeing everyone. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have dance to fall back on. Dance is my outlet... one of those things I do for me... despite how some teammates can be a pain in the tush. It's like, dance itself can push that aside.
Speaking of dance, we lost another team member as of Friday. Camille Walker. I'm gonna miss her--she transferred from Manual this year and is a Junior too. It's funny--I told my mom I didn't think she'd be returning next year about the time school started. I must be psychic... haha. But I mean, dance has it's never ending drama.
in example...
Freshman year: Brittany Lin quitting; etc
Sophomore Year: Whitney/anorexia/quitting; Holly/Eliza/Chicago; Eliza quitting, Meagan/illness/quitting; Sarah and Patricia not returning; etc
This year: Ashley/resigning; Emily not returning; Carolina/knee/her mom; Alexis quitting; Holly not returning; Camille quitting; Meredith not returning; more to come...
*sigh* I love Dance nonetheless. I really want to do it in college.