I can't think of anything creative. I'm going bald....
I'm so sick of my hair and my scalp. I want to put what's left of my once beautiful and thick hair up in a ponytail to get it out of my way but it hurts too much to put it up because for some unknown reason my hair is falling out at an alarming rate and I can't take it anymore. My hair has gotten incredibly thin, and I know that I'm the only one who notices but it has and I'm not okay with that at all. I don't want to be bald. I don't want to at all. I love my hair. I miss my hair (well the part that's left me forever anyway). And now its all dry and sickly looking, and it looks a lot duller to me as well. I know some of its in my head, and most of it is only noticeable to me, but seriously, I’m freaking out over here. My hair is my only vanity. Without my hair, there isn’t something about myself that I am proud of. Lame, I know, but still. And it’s getting so thin, and now I can tell at my scalp, and I’m afraid. I don’t want it all to fall out. What if I go bald? I could not handle that. Not at all. And the more I freak out over it, the worse I’m sure I’m making it. And my scalp hurts and I can’t do anything with my hair because I’m afraid to damage it worse, and it hurts to pull it back at all. I want my hair back, the way it was a month ago when it was thick and strong and silky smooth and pretty and all attached to my head still rather than all crumpled up in balls in the trash can. This has to stop soon right? I mean at some point it either has to stop falling out or I have to run out of hair. I hope it’s the first. I’m sick of going bald. I’m sick of pulling an excessive amount of stray hairs off my clothes. And I mean excessive.
I did a search last weekend and this was one of the possible explanations for hair loss “A number of things can cause excessive hair loss. For example, about 3 or 4 months after an illness or a major surgery, you may suddenly lose a large amount of hair. This hair loss is related to the stress of the illness and is temporary.” It’s been 3 months since my illness plagued October, which might be the cause of this, but I’m not sure if it was that stressful or not. And seriously, this much hair loss? It’s supposed to be temporary, so when does the temporary end? Soon I hope. Because it’s going to be obvious soon. And I don’t want that.
Thank God this week is a short one, because I’m already stressed out. College got stressful all of a sudden. Its like they realized it’s my last semester and decided to pile it all on. I’m only 2 weeks in and already about a week behind on my reading. And what’s with 2 chapters a week in all of my classes? Unacceptable! I need to sleep. I’ve been ready for bed since about 7:30, but I figured that was way to early to go to bed, especially when I don’t have school tomorrow, but I am incredibly tired. Its like 4 years of insomnia is hitting me all at once and it will take me just as long to make it all up. And I’m sick of being exhausted all the time, and I’m sick of going bald (yeah we’re back on that).
I did a search last weekend and this was one of the possible explanations for hair loss “A number of things can cause excessive hair loss. For example, about 3 or 4 months after an illness or a major surgery, you may suddenly lose a large amount of hair. This hair loss is related to the stress of the illness and is temporary.” It’s been 3 months since my illness plagued October, which might be the cause of this, but I’m not sure if it was that stressful or not. And seriously, this much hair loss? It’s supposed to be temporary, so when does the temporary end? Soon I hope. Because it’s going to be obvious soon. And I don’t want that.
Thank God this week is a short one, because I’m already stressed out. College got stressful all of a sudden. Its like they realized it’s my last semester and decided to pile it all on. I’m only 2 weeks in and already about a week behind on my reading. And what’s with 2 chapters a week in all of my classes? Unacceptable! I need to sleep. I’ve been ready for bed since about 7:30, but I figured that was way to early to go to bed, especially when I don’t have school tomorrow, but I am incredibly tired. Its like 4 years of insomnia is hitting me all at once and it will take me just as long to make it all up. And I’m sick of being exhausted all the time, and I’m sick of going bald (yeah we’re back on that).