comming full circle

Dec 31, 2006 18:32

I really thought I was going to be ok tonight. I was doing so well for so long. but I think when I look back at the history of New Year's Eve, or at least my personal history, its too hard. Maybe things would be better if I could have gone to Gameworks with Julie tonight. She's the DD because she can't drink right now and doesn't want to be the only sober one. But they are 21 and up tonight (lame) so I can't get in. I feel like if I go to Jessica's house things will go exactly as they did last year and I don't know if I can take another year like 2006 was. I just been in this horrible funk all day and if I don't break out soon then I just know I will be dooming 2007 to follow down 2006's path. I wish I had more friends or more options for tonight. I don't want to sit at home and watch the ball drop with my cats. I want to go out and have fun but I don't know if I'll be able to find that.

All I keep thinking about are those stupid feather boas. I still don't have one. But what would it matter anyway? too much has changed in the past year and it hurts...

new year's eve, 2006

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