you dont want to look much closer...
im sick of being grumpy today. i hate being grumpy. im not a grumpy person. i think maybe i just expect too much of people sometimes and i get let down. im sick of it. i get let down all the time. maybe if i lower my standards for my friends and people i confide in, i wont be disapointed all the time. speaking of which i dont think this trip is going to happen anymore. there arent enough people, so if anyone wants to go please let me know ASAP that you are interested, otherwise i think im just going to have to cancel it.
i woke up late today. i missed a class. i know i broke the pact, but i didnt mean to. my alarm didnt go off, and it sucks. i have to go downstairs to sell ribbons in a few minutes.
i havent heard from trevor in about 3 weeks now. i know i may be over reacting, but this is a big deal for me. everyone keeps telling me that hes busy, and i know he is. but he was so hell bent on making sure he could call me and email me once every week. he told me come hell or high water that he would get a message to me and let me know he was alright. hes in fallujah right now. thats the bad part isnt it? it was on the news last night and i couldnt bare to watch it. its just so painful thinking about how im sitting here in my nice, heated, dorm room watching movies with my friends and i complain about something as stupid as not being able to go to cancun for 8 days with my friends, when he is out there fighting. i cant believe how selfish i am sometimes. im scared for him. i want him to come home. i want things to go back to normal.
sometimes there are things in your past you cant tell people. random i know, but its true. i feel like no matter where i go in life and move on, i have this shadow behind me that just wont go away. just when you think its over, it comes back to haunt you. it was in the past, does it need to come back and ruin college life too? yea i guess it does.
im going to sell ribbons now and try to be happy because who wants to buy ribbons from a grumpy person.
i woke up late today. i missed a class. i know i broke the pact, but i didnt mean to. my alarm didnt go off, and it sucks. i have to go downstairs to sell ribbons in a few minutes.
i havent heard from trevor in about 3 weeks now. i know i may be over reacting, but this is a big deal for me. everyone keeps telling me that hes busy, and i know he is. but he was so hell bent on making sure he could call me and email me once every week. he told me come hell or high water that he would get a message to me and let me know he was alright. hes in fallujah right now. thats the bad part isnt it? it was on the news last night and i couldnt bare to watch it. its just so painful thinking about how im sitting here in my nice, heated, dorm room watching movies with my friends and i complain about something as stupid as not being able to go to cancun for 8 days with my friends, when he is out there fighting. i cant believe how selfish i am sometimes. im scared for him. i want him to come home. i want things to go back to normal.
sometimes there are things in your past you cant tell people. random i know, but its true. i feel like no matter where i go in life and move on, i have this shadow behind me that just wont go away. just when you think its over, it comes back to haunt you. it was in the past, does it need to come back and ruin college life too? yea i guess it does.
im going to sell ribbons now and try to be happy because who wants to buy ribbons from a grumpy person.