Im down to the last straw
I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont feel like you care at all about this friendship or what we had. Ive made a few attempts but I dont feel like youve made one. I dont even know what happened, dont I have a right to know why youre so angry with me? Well this is my last attempt because I just dont know how much more I can keep pouring out and only getting angry, aggrivated responses in return.
I dont know when we lost touch really or when something went wrong but the best I can pin point anything is when your grandfather died. Before that we were still chatting on the phone and hanging out on weekends, you were being a great support system while I was having problems with Dustin and I thought that I was still supporting you pretty well too. We both understood that a lot was going on and there was only so much we had to give between school and extracurricular activities. When your grandfather died it was 2 wks later when I found out. I was very hurt because there were so many other people at school that made the comment " I thought that she would have called and told you, thats why we didnt" or " Shes your best friend, I thought for sure you already knew". That hurt. I know that you were in pain then and I think I know better than anybody what loss feels like. Ive experienced a lot of it in the last 2 yrs. My grandmother and then my dad. When my grandmother died, I called you on the way home from the nursing home. When my dad died, I called you on the way home from the hospital. So It couldnt have been that you just "had too much on you to call". I felt like you just didnt need me and that hurt. When my grandmother and when my dad died you were the one person that I did need and it sucked to feel like you didnt even care. I felt like a very non supportive friend and I felt like an idiot. I never told you I was sorry for your loss but Iam, I never called because Im just too hardheaded and I felt like I had been done wrong. Friendship doesnt work that way, you dont lay all the blame on someone else.
I called you while I was in Arizona because I genuinly MISS YOU. I felt like the whole time you were on the phone with me you were "just being polite". It wasnt the best friend that I thought I had at all.
When I was in Arizona I also told you what had happened with Dustin and I. I felt like you didnt even care. I almost felt like you were saying inside your head that I deserved it or I had what was coming to me. I defenatley didnt feel like you were sorry that I got hurt or that he had been so cruel. Maybe you didnt know over the phone how hurt I was but you read my journal entrys that week and I poured my heart and soul into those.....
Im not laying the blame on you thats not what Im doing at all. This is simply my plead to you and thinking that perhaps if I tell you how Ive been hurt and why Iam so upset with this whole mess perhaps you will make a step in fixing this as well. But thats only if you want to or if you still care. If you dont then I will leave you alone and not worry with it anymore. Well...thats a lie, I will worry with it because youre the best friend Ive ever had. Am I expected to just walk away and pretend that you were never there in the first place?
Amy
I dont know when we lost touch really or when something went wrong but the best I can pin point anything is when your grandfather died. Before that we were still chatting on the phone and hanging out on weekends, you were being a great support system while I was having problems with Dustin and I thought that I was still supporting you pretty well too. We both understood that a lot was going on and there was only so much we had to give between school and extracurricular activities. When your grandfather died it was 2 wks later when I found out. I was very hurt because there were so many other people at school that made the comment " I thought that she would have called and told you, thats why we didnt" or " Shes your best friend, I thought for sure you already knew". That hurt. I know that you were in pain then and I think I know better than anybody what loss feels like. Ive experienced a lot of it in the last 2 yrs. My grandmother and then my dad. When my grandmother died, I called you on the way home from the nursing home. When my dad died, I called you on the way home from the hospital. So It couldnt have been that you just "had too much on you to call". I felt like you just didnt need me and that hurt. When my grandmother and when my dad died you were the one person that I did need and it sucked to feel like you didnt even care. I felt like a very non supportive friend and I felt like an idiot. I never told you I was sorry for your loss but Iam, I never called because Im just too hardheaded and I felt like I had been done wrong. Friendship doesnt work that way, you dont lay all the blame on someone else.
I called you while I was in Arizona because I genuinly MISS YOU. I felt like the whole time you were on the phone with me you were "just being polite". It wasnt the best friend that I thought I had at all.
When I was in Arizona I also told you what had happened with Dustin and I. I felt like you didnt even care. I almost felt like you were saying inside your head that I deserved it or I had what was coming to me. I defenatley didnt feel like you were sorry that I got hurt or that he had been so cruel. Maybe you didnt know over the phone how hurt I was but you read my journal entrys that week and I poured my heart and soul into those.....
Im not laying the blame on you thats not what Im doing at all. This is simply my plead to you and thinking that perhaps if I tell you how Ive been hurt and why Iam so upset with this whole mess perhaps you will make a step in fixing this as well. But thats only if you want to or if you still care. If you dont then I will leave you alone and not worry with it anymore. Well...thats a lie, I will worry with it because youre the best friend Ive ever had. Am I expected to just walk away and pretend that you were never there in the first place?
Amy