My head a-splode
Hi everybody.
Been feeling absolutely terrible lately-- feeling horridly sick. Headache, sore throat, grogginess and disorientation and above all, a horrible hacking cough.
For those of you freaking the hell out right now, thinking "oh sweet jesus the pneumonia's back!" I'll let you revel in that for a few moment, because that's the unabating fear which has clutched my mind for the past few days. Go on, I'll wait.
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And then I realized something. The flowers, and I mean a whole crapload of flowers, are blooming. Spring is in the air, and I had almost forgotten that I'm allergic to every damn thing in this world. I should be hermetically sealed off from the world.
Worst part is, it's never been this bad. I guess this is what they mean by 'hayfever' 'cause it's fucking awful. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to make sure it's not pneumonia and to see if anything can be done because man oh man does this suck hugely. I took an Allegra, which usually sorts me out-- not even a dent. I am so very screwed this spring.
It has been a day of severe ups and downs-- hope and despair. I've got a topic now for my thesis, but I fear I may have angered professor Richards by changing away from what I believe he presumed would be on Vikings and/or the 'Dark Ages' in film. I think he got that impression from my Ph.D. inquiries a few months ago and my thinking has progressed significantly since then. However, he's a really good prof and has been great to me in the past and I do not want to alienate him in the least. But he's said if I do that topic he's not going to be my supervisor... and he finished up the email by reminding me how far past the deadline I am for figuring all this out (a week tomorrow)... and though I understand that I am over the deadline, it hasn't been for lack of trying. I've been busting my hump trying to find someone willing to work with me on something, damn near anything, regarding film. The only other person, the person who it seems I am left with now, is Dr. Blurton. She's not so bad, I guess, but she has a very intimidating demeanor-- not exactly the fuzzy, supportive type. I like fuzzy supportive, I figured that out at Syracuse and it has stuck with me ever since. Every time I walk away from a meeting with her I feel... judged. As if I am not very clever and she knows it but doesn't have the heart to throw me in the river in a bag full of rocks like an unwanted puppy. However from what I understand she's not exactly terribly well liked by the student body at the CMS here so at least I'm not alone in feeling a bit put off by her demeanor sometimes.
Thankfully, on the flip side, I believe I have managed to pick up a co-supervisor from the English department named Jane Elliott-- an incredibly nice woman who is very good for the fuzzy and friendly thing. She's going to be taking care of the modern medievalism and film aspects of the project, even though she admits herself that she doesn't have any experience with film. Yipe. Oh well, at least she's nice. Hell-- I was discussing movies and tv shows with her, and she was mentioning wanting to see the new Battlestar Galactica. I then look at her with a wry grin and say, "Have you ever seen...... Firefly?" She looks at me, shoots a wry grin back, and points to her wall where she has pinned all three of the Serenity comic books in protective plastic wrappers.
In short, she and I are gonna be buddies.
And I'm excited about my topic, and there's lots of good material on it out there-- I just want to find people who are competent in the field and friendly and helpful while being academically rigorous so I have a decent shot at landing a distinction (which will greatly help my chances of being funded for a Ph.D.)
For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath, here's the topic:
Examining medieval and contemporary ideas of 'crusade' and 'jihad' and their representation in three films.
Structure-wise, there will be a section examining the medieval ideas of the concepts of Jihad and Crusade and comparing them to how those concepts have been appropriated in a contemporary context, and looking at how the modern and medieval come into conflict in three films. Those films are: The Crusades (dir. Cecil B. Demille, 1935), Kingdom of Heaven (dir. Ridley Scott, 2003), and El Naser El Salal Al Din (dir. Youssef Chahine, 1963).
Taa daa. You all know I get off on doing things that have relevance to the contemporary world--- I'd hate for people to look at my work and throw up an eyebrow and declare 'who gives a damn.' So, I think it will be exciting to dive into the political and moral minefield that is wrapped around that concept, particularly considering how big of a deal it is right now. I've already been reading some interesting and exciting stuff-- but I'll write more about that later.
Anyway, that's it. Send me some love, or at least some very very strong antihistamines, because I need them both right now.
Been feeling absolutely terrible lately-- feeling horridly sick. Headache, sore throat, grogginess and disorientation and above all, a horrible hacking cough.
For those of you freaking the hell out right now, thinking "oh sweet jesus the pneumonia's back!" I'll let you revel in that for a few moment, because that's the unabating fear which has clutched my mind for the past few days. Go on, I'll wait.
...
...
...
...
...
And then I realized something. The flowers, and I mean a whole crapload of flowers, are blooming. Spring is in the air, and I had almost forgotten that I'm allergic to every damn thing in this world. I should be hermetically sealed off from the world.
Worst part is, it's never been this bad. I guess this is what they mean by 'hayfever' 'cause it's fucking awful. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to make sure it's not pneumonia and to see if anything can be done because man oh man does this suck hugely. I took an Allegra, which usually sorts me out-- not even a dent. I am so very screwed this spring.
It has been a day of severe ups and downs-- hope and despair. I've got a topic now for my thesis, but I fear I may have angered professor Richards by changing away from what I believe he presumed would be on Vikings and/or the 'Dark Ages' in film. I think he got that impression from my Ph.D. inquiries a few months ago and my thinking has progressed significantly since then. However, he's a really good prof and has been great to me in the past and I do not want to alienate him in the least. But he's said if I do that topic he's not going to be my supervisor... and he finished up the email by reminding me how far past the deadline I am for figuring all this out (a week tomorrow)... and though I understand that I am over the deadline, it hasn't been for lack of trying. I've been busting my hump trying to find someone willing to work with me on something, damn near anything, regarding film. The only other person, the person who it seems I am left with now, is Dr. Blurton. She's not so bad, I guess, but she has a very intimidating demeanor-- not exactly the fuzzy, supportive type. I like fuzzy supportive, I figured that out at Syracuse and it has stuck with me ever since. Every time I walk away from a meeting with her I feel... judged. As if I am not very clever and she knows it but doesn't have the heart to throw me in the river in a bag full of rocks like an unwanted puppy. However from what I understand she's not exactly terribly well liked by the student body at the CMS here so at least I'm not alone in feeling a bit put off by her demeanor sometimes.
Thankfully, on the flip side, I believe I have managed to pick up a co-supervisor from the English department named Jane Elliott-- an incredibly nice woman who is very good for the fuzzy and friendly thing. She's going to be taking care of the modern medievalism and film aspects of the project, even though she admits herself that she doesn't have any experience with film. Yipe. Oh well, at least she's nice. Hell-- I was discussing movies and tv shows with her, and she was mentioning wanting to see the new Battlestar Galactica. I then look at her with a wry grin and say, "Have you ever seen...... Firefly?" She looks at me, shoots a wry grin back, and points to her wall where she has pinned all three of the Serenity comic books in protective plastic wrappers.
In short, she and I are gonna be buddies.
And I'm excited about my topic, and there's lots of good material on it out there-- I just want to find people who are competent in the field and friendly and helpful while being academically rigorous so I have a decent shot at landing a distinction (which will greatly help my chances of being funded for a Ph.D.)
For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath, here's the topic:
Examining medieval and contemporary ideas of 'crusade' and 'jihad' and their representation in three films.
Structure-wise, there will be a section examining the medieval ideas of the concepts of Jihad and Crusade and comparing them to how those concepts have been appropriated in a contemporary context, and looking at how the modern and medieval come into conflict in three films. Those films are: The Crusades (dir. Cecil B. Demille, 1935), Kingdom of Heaven (dir. Ridley Scott, 2003), and El Naser El Salal Al Din (dir. Youssef Chahine, 1963).
Taa daa. You all know I get off on doing things that have relevance to the contemporary world--- I'd hate for people to look at my work and throw up an eyebrow and declare 'who gives a damn.' So, I think it will be exciting to dive into the political and moral minefield that is wrapped around that concept, particularly considering how big of a deal it is right now. I've already been reading some interesting and exciting stuff-- but I'll write more about that later.
Anyway, that's it. Send me some love, or at least some very very strong antihistamines, because I need them both right now.