ugh.
Masking true feelings=bad. Don't do it. I suggest it, I know from experience. And now I'm writing a stupid LJ entry, that is all not really telling much, but telling some stuff...if that makes sense. Don't worry about me, this is me not ready to tell anybody fully, but wanting to say something....so my something is: don't mask true feelings, it all, at first, starts crashing down and then it actuallycrashes down.
"I've looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, and still somehow. It's love's illusions, I recall, I really don't know love at all. Tears and fears and feeling proud to say I love you right out loud dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've lookedat live that way. Bot now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed. Well, something's lost, but something's gained, in living every day. I've looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose, and still somehow. It's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all. I've looked at life from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow. It's life's illusions, I recall, I really don't know life at all."
-->Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchell)