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a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. my grandmother is in the hospital and i don't even know what i f*ing feel. or i just don't want to admit to it. don't want to write too much...i'm scared of what i'll discover. when did this coarseness happen? i wasn't always this way. and here I go again, being selfish, thinking about myself and MY feelings when she's in the hospital!! what is wrong with me??? I'm heading over there in a few minutes... I don't know what to say or do....